There Are Worse Things I Could Do

[first_pink_lady]

Back home, Rizzo had to drive on down to the drive-in if she wanted to catch a flick. The options were pretty limited to whatever reel the man in charge had lying around, but she wasn't too big on the things anyhow. Here, though, they had plenty of movies just lying around on the bookshelf, waiting to be thrown up on the screen in the rec room - in

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[broken_brushes]

Well crap.

Like so many other people, I was a Grease fan. I wouldn't go so far as to say that was why Rizzo and I had become friends, but it had given me an undeniable thrill to meet her for the first time. Before her arrival on the island, I had even toyed with the idea of doing a production of it, but I had known enough to keep my lips firmly zipped the moment one of the central characters had shown up. In my experience, very few people liked finding out that millions of strangers had been privy to their most personal moments.

I wouldn't have even needed to look at Rizzo's face to know that she was upset; it just made sense. The hasty way she fumbled off the projector confirmed it, though, and I sucked it up and stepped over. I really hoped she didn't get too pissed at me for not having told her before.

"Hey," I began, and reached a gentle hand to her closest elbow. "Let's go to the ladies, huh?" If I knew anything about Rizzo, I knew she wouldn't want to have an emotional breakdown in public.

[first_pink_lady]

Rizzo whirled around to face Shari at the touch on her arm, thumbing away the tears on her cheek and attempting to gather herself up, get her walls back up. Then, as she looked at Shari, she wondered if she'd seen the movie, had known from the start about just how vulnerable she was, she'd always been. Still, she didn't want to be here, in full view in the rec room for everyone to see. She nodded, "yeah - I'm just -" then she was making a beeline for the ladies room, because the words had gotten stuck in her throat and she wouldn't cry, wouldn't be that weak.

[broken_brushes]

I followed at a less frantic pace, and then took a moment to make sure no one else was in the bathroom before I placed myself in front of the closed door. There were other bathrooms in the Compound if somebody just couldn't hold it.

"I'm sure it's not much comfort if I tell you that lots of people go through this here," I said as watched Rizzo with sympathetic eyes. Oddly enough, I hadn't been one of those people yet, but I had no doubts by that point that I had to be fictional to somebody, somewhere. My story was way too dramatic for me not to be.

[first_pink_lady]

She leaned over the sink, hands on the counter on either side, watching as tears dripped down into the bowl despite her efforts to stop them, and wondered if she was going to puke - she felt sick enough, that was for sure. She suddenly remembered another ladies room, and another confession - and how quickly that had goddamn spread. It was too late for that, here. Everyone could already fucking know.

"It ain't that I got a flick," she said, and hated how pathetic she sounded, her breath stuttering and catching in something suspiciously close to sobs, "fucking Superman gets his kicks around here."

[broken_brushes]

"Yeah, and he probably doesn't like everyone knowing the most intimate details of his personal life anymore than you do," I replied. There was a lot that fell under the purview of 'being fictional.' It wasn't just about finding out that some people thought you were a figment of someone's imagination.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," I added, because even though I hated making the confession, I thought she deserved to know. "There are just so many people who are like this. Sometimes I think it's all of us and we just don't know it. There's not really any polite way to bring it up, and after a little while, it stops mattering. But I am sorry. You shouldn't have found out like this."

[first_pink_lady]

Rizzo drew a wrist under her nose, swiping at the tears on her cheeks with impatient fingers. She was silent, taking a few moments to get her fucking act together, choking down her sobs like a goddamn lady. "What's that make me, huh? Where the fuck does that leave me, if every Ted and Nancy out there knows I ain't so tough?"

[broken_brushes]

"You don't get it," I quickly asserted with a shake of my head. "That isn't what people see. They don't look at that movie and see a weak girl, they see someone strong." I hesitated a few seconds and then stepped further into the room. Cards on the table, now. There was no sense in keeping any of it a secret anymore.

"Here's the absolute truth, Riz. I grew up watching that movie, and you were always my favorite. When I found you that day on the beach, I was so stupidly excited just to even meet you. Because you'd been a role model for me, even though I know that would probably make you laugh. I didn't see a weak girl, I saw someone who was fiercely independent, someone who held her chin up when people were talking shit about her, someone who never gave those other girls the satisfaction of seeing her cry but who still had feelings. And I get why it would upset you, other people seeing that part, but it mattered to me, and I know it mattered to a lot of other girls, too."

[first_pink_lady]

Rizzo just stared at her, attempting to absorb that. "Yeah?" That was . . . well. It sure was something, alright. Then, all of a sudden, Rizzo started snickering, eyes still red and cheeks still streaky. "Oh - Christ, me a role model? Get a load of that." Then she was outright laughing, and yes, it might've been a bit hysterical, but it was also just damn funny that a goddamn black sheep like her could appeal to future gals.

[broken_brushes]

I rolled my eyes with a knowing tilt of my head. "I definitely called it," I replied, and then leveled Rizzo with an imploring look, hands on my hips. "You feel better now?" At least I'd made her laugh, even if that hadn't exactly been my intention.

[first_pink_lady]

"I'll live," she said, still distinctly off-kilter, but some of her old confidence in her words. She mustered up something of a smile for Shari, who fucking knew everything but hadn't started mocking her yet.