(Untitled)

[floozyfacade]

If I'm completely honest, I kinda hoped that, when I woke up this morning, it would be gone. And by 'it,' I mean the twenty or so years I seem to have gained overnight. I mean, nothing against, you know, aging or older women, I'm sure I'd love to be almost forty when I'm… almost forty, but right now? I'm really keen on sticking with this whole

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[floozyfacade]

"I was gonna say at least the articles are better in those," Olive says, wrinkling up her nose, "but they really aren't." Cosmo, at least, is beyond laughable (how many sex tips can there even be in the world anyway? Surely not enough for them to put a hundred or more different ways in every issue, right?). "I don't know if this thing thinks I'm twelve or that I need advice in the bedroom. That is a really disturbing sentence."

[halfscarlet]

It made Billy laugh, which he cut short when he realized how high pitched and different it sounded. Everything was off, from the way he walked to the weight of the hair on his head and his brand new breasts, all of it. A day with his new body hadn't made anything easier.

"I don't get it," he said, referring to yet another quiz he was scanning. "These quizzes are stupid, but I can't stop taking them. Is a normal girl thing to do? Is that why there are so many women's magazines?"

[floozyfacade]

"Hell if I know," Olive said. She got to her feet, shrugging, and headed over to perch on the side of the couch. The face was familiar, and not just in a My dad loved Firefly for the two seconds it was on way, but she couldn't quite place it. It was pretty clear from the question this was probably one of the other stranded souls, though. She wondered if she should ask or just let whoever it was have their anonymity a little longer. "I mean, I'm a girl, not just this weekend or anything, but I don't spend a whole lot of time reading those. Are they really that addictive? I wanna take one."

[halfscarlet]

Billy looked over, and once he actually had a face to the voice -- even though both were a little different -- and all that red hair, he light up. "Olive?" He handed over the magazine he was reading, page still open to the quiz, and picked up another one (Cosmo Girl this time). "It's me, Billy."

[floozyfacade]

"Holy shit," Olive said, though it actually came out sort of pleased. "Are you serious?" She took the magazine in one hand, giving him a slight shove with the other. "Oh my God, you grow up to be one hot woman, my friend." If that was a weird thing to say, she didn't care. She had a feeling it was pretty normal this weekend, actually, and anyway, it was true.

[halfscarlet]

Billy wrinkled his nose. Happy as he was to see Olive, the comment disturbed him a little. "I kinda look a little like my mom," he said, voice dangerously close to a whine.

[floozyfacade]

"...I apologize and take it back," Olive said, blinking. "I think. Wait. That's weird. You okay?" At least she could safely say she didn't look like her mother, but that had always been a given, and it wasn't like her mom was unattractive, just... her mom. And considerably older than she was even now, which would have just made things with Eduardo even stranger.

[halfscarlet]

"I'm fine, just..." Billy looked down at his shirt, and while he had no cleavage to look down, not being able to see his stomach was disturbing enough. "I have boobs, Olive. I don't like them when I'm a guy, I certainly don't like them now."

[floozyfacade]

"Oh, come on, they're not so bad," Olive said, glancing instinctively down at her own. They had their uses, although she wasn't going to say so. "No one's asking you to feel yourself up, buddy. They mostly just sit there. What's really wrong is that I think yours are bigger than mine, but, I mean, what else is new, so."

[halfscarlet]

"Wha--?" Billy looked down again, then looked back up at Olive, as if to compare the sizes. He looked back and forth, confusion growing in his face. "How does that even work? And your boobs aren't that small anyway, whatever. I can say in a platonic way that you have a nice rack."

[floozyfacade]

Olive snorted, head dipping. "You did not just say that," she said. "But thank you. It's growing on me." Her mouth opened wide in a kind of half-hearted grin, though there was some actual delight in her eyes at the pun. "The point is, they'll be gone before you know it. Hopefully. And lots of people who have them are not attracted to them. You're just like one of the girls."

[halfscarlet]

Billy laughs, and for a moment the sound startles him. But being surprised by his own voice strikes him as utterly ridiculous, just another thing to pile on top of everything he's had to deal with since waking up, and he laughs again.

"This is so dumb," he says as he catches his breath. "Breasts are like, the dumbest thing I could worry about now, right?"

[floozyfacade]

"They're up there," Olive said, nodding, "but it's okay, I think that's normal, too. As much as... any of this is normal. At least you're all in one piece and you're you." She'd heard that wasn't always the case, that sometimes people were other people, and she was so glad she'd missed out on that one. Her body gave her trouble enough without someone else being in control of it.

[halfscarlet]

"Thank God for that much," Billy agrees. He picks up Marie Claire this time, flipping idly through it, hoping to randomly land on another quiz. "How's Eduardo? He hasn't changed into a girl, has he?"

[floozyfacade]

Olive snorted, shaking her head, glad he wasn't there to hear her. He would have been miserable, she was sure, turning into a girl overnight, as if what had actually happened weren't bad enough. "No, he's, uh... he's a teenager again. He's not thrilled." That was putting it mildly, but she'd told him she wouldn't tell about his being so upset by it, and that held even with her friends. As far as she could glean, it hadn't been the best of times in Eduardo's life.

[halfscarlet]

Billy's eyebrows rose as he put the picture together, and he had to pull the magazine up over half his face to cover his smile. "Oh my God, Olive, you're Mrs. Robinson."