(Untitled)

[likedtheodds]

He wakes up in the middle of the forest with no shirt, a bird's nest close to his hair, a cat licking his face, the stench of eggs on his breath, and two roses lying over his chest. There's also a cup of alcohol sitting nearby, which makes the most sense of all the things he's surrounded by. Gwaine sits up and scratches first the back of his head

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[frakkup]

"Good morning, sunshine," Kara greets him, and between the hand on her hip and the dangerous tilt of her smile, somehow sunshine sounds more like asshole.

Shooing Muffin away, she leans down, stealing one of the roses tucked behind his ear. "I'm gonna blame the inherent male in you for thinking that pissing on something means you own it," she says, pinching the stem between her fingers. "Or don't you remember relieving yourself in the rose garden?"

[likedtheodds]

"Ah, is that why I have thorns in my..." He gestures lower once, twice, then peeks in his britches to pull one out. "Got close, but no real damage done," he says, flicking it away and deigning her with a bright smile. "And don't tempt me. If I'm going to be going around claiming things, I wouldn't start with roses."

[frakkup]

"I'd hope you wouldn't start with pissing on them, either," she replies, with only a raised eyebrow for the manbits currently celebrating a narrow escape. The crowd was sparse at the Winchester late last night, but with the way Gwaine had been carrying on, she doubts a one of them would lament his sudden inability to procreate.

"Do you remember last night? I tried getting you home, but." Rose still between her fingers, Kara spreads her hands. "You're slippery for such a big guy."

[likedtheodds]

"I was probably shirtless and covered in a slick substance," he admits, a little wary on the details, but he does like to think that he remembers her beautiful face. "I recall the first bit of the evening, but then it all gets a bit blurry. I think I started earlier than usual. Lack of anything to do and all," he says with a shrug. "You tried to get me home?" he asks, with a fond smile on his lips. "You should've just left me to pass out. It's what people do."

[frakkup]

"I'll remember that for next time," she replies, making a face for his mention of a slick substance. Gods. "You know, drinking for a lack of anything better to do is a sign of alcoholism. I should know."

The words are spoken lightly, but Kara means them, every word.

[likedtheodds]

Gwaine reaches a hand back to scratch it through his hair as a confused look comes over his face. "Alcohwhat?" he echoes, shaking his head in confusion. "Where I come from, we just call it a regular Saturday evening. Or Tuesday. Or Thursday. And, mind you, evening is really one of those terms that's very flexible when the pubs are good enough to always be serving."

[frakkup]

"And I call that drinking too much," Kara returns with a grim set to her mouth. He might not be an addict, but Gwaine is dangerously bored, and if all he can think to turn to is drink then they have a problem. "What did you do besides drinking for fun at home?"

[likedtheodds]

"Barfights," Gwaine says. "Other kinds of fights." Until Merlin had come along, the fights never typically led to anything, but you meet one prince and suddenly you get to participate in a melee and get banned from a kingdom while fully sober. Now there's something he didn't think he could accomplish. "Didn't have much to do once I figured out how to fight and then learned how much I hate royal prigs and bastards."

[frakkup]

"Then join something. ITF, IPD, I don't care what. Teach a class in fighting at the school. You can't do nothing but drink all day. You'll get fat," she says, appealing to his vanity if nothing else, her foot nudging at his own. "And you'll drink up all the liquor we have, and then there will be riots."

[likedtheodds]

She's not wrong. She's not wrong about the 'nothing to do but drink' all day, but before this, he'd fought for Arthur only because he felt that Merlin was his friend and he owed him something. He sees no purpose in pushing himself to the limit for no reason. "I ride, you know. Esmeralda, my beauty," he says fondly. "I just don't see the point of much else in this place."