(Untitled)

[little_moons]

If you're reading this, I'm probably not around anymore...There's dirt under my nails. I don't know a fuckin' thing about gardening, but I don't have it in me to let his flowers die. It seems like a part of him, one of the only parts any of us have left, his ashes scattered in the dirt under the cascading blue bells and morning glories, the new,

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[raw_youth]

Dodge slipped in quietly and slunk across the room to the bar. There was nothing stealthy about it and he knew he'd been seen, but it didn't deter him from getting right to Neil's shoulder and saying, "Boo."

It was hot and he wore a tank and shorts, but he had a long sleeve shirt over that. House had been pissed off when he'd found out Dodge was using. He figured he'd best keep his track marks covered up so he didn't piss anyone else off, too.

"Whatcha up to?" he asked, eyeing the drink and the joint and wetting his lips. He could use a little bit of both of those.

[little_moons]

Turning my head lazily to look at him, I flash him a smirk, flipping the notebook closed but casually enough that it doesn't really look like I'm trying to hide anything.

"Somethin' I should've done weeks ago," I drawl, passing over the joint when I catch him looking at it. "You want a drink?"

[raw_youth]

"I walked all this fuckin' way, yeah I want a drink," Dodge replied. He took the joint and hit it. He'd never smoked much pot before he'd arrived here but he'd picked up the habit quickly. Holding the smoke made his chest tighten as his body rebelled against his holding his breath. He finally exhaled and gave a little cough.

"Nice. Thanks," he whispered, his throat rough from the smoke. He was already feeling the tingle across the back of his neck that bled sweet warmth down his back and between his shoulders.

[little_moons]

"You're not just here for my fuckin' company? I'm hurt," I mutter dryly, hopping up onto the bar and swinging my legs over to land on the other side, instead wastin' the time to walk all the way around.

"The beer's good this week," I tell him. It's always drinkable, but some batches are a little better than others.

[raw_youth]

Dodge looked distinctly embarrassed and ducked his head. He wasn't even sure if it was okay to come to just see Neil, even though he'd been invited. Even though he kept thinking he should come. Maybe hang out with Neil, or maybe see Chris. He couldn't just be fucking high in his hut.

But he still felt like he'd been found out.

"Beer's fine," he said to the bar. He found a drop of water and he dragged his finger through it, making a triangle out of it.

"Do you, uh, mind company? I can get a table, y'know. Or something."

[little_moons]

"Man, I told you to come by, whenever you want. I didn't mean for you to go and sit in a corner by yourself," I tell him, pouring him a beer from the taps and sliding it over to him.

"I wasn't doin' anything that can't wait a little longer."

[raw_youth]

"I was bored and the rec room keeps trying to give me books," Dodge replied. Books. Right. Shit that had pictures and big letters he had to sound out as he read. Like he needed to read, anyway. He knew enough, he didn't need kids books. He could only imagine Anthony's face if he saw Dodge with that shit.

He took a drink and winced at the sharp bite of the home brew. It was good, but much different than the cheap piss he was used to.

"What, uh, what were you doing?"

[little_moons]

"My husband... He left behind a journal. It's stories and letters and shit, for his daughters. Our daughters. I was readin' through it," I murmur, scratching at the nape of my neck and brushing my thumb over the worn corner of the notebook.

I know Tom told him, about Mike. He mentioned it later that day.

[raw_youth]

He hummed softly, somewhat in understanding but mostly in discomfort. He didn't know what to say. He felt like an ass, putting the other guy on the spot. The other dad...Tim or Tom or some shit. He was just buzzed enough from the pot that he couldn't quite recall.

"That's cool," he finally said. "I mean, it's cool, right? That there's something like that for them? Your kids?"

[little_moons]

"Yeah, it's cool. I mean, Mike... He always knew it was comin'. That he'd be gone, one day. All of us go, eventually, I guess, but he was just... so sure of it," I say, lifting one shoulder in a shrug, not wanting to go into too much detail, 'cause I can already tell how fuckin' uncomfortable he is.

"So, what the hell, the rec room was tryin' to give you books? Was it throwin' 'em at you? You had to walk your ass all the way out here to escape?"

[raw_youth]

"No," he snorted. "Not throwing them at me. I, uh, wanted a book about paintings. Just some pictures. Um, I met this guy. He showed me some paintings and shit," Dodge explained. He kept his eyes on his beer.

"But it kept giving me things to read instead of art books, so I said fuck it and thought I'd come see you because it's been a while, man. Ask you what you do for fun other than scaring the shit out of me...when you're not doing your million other things," he grinned. "You're so fuckin' responsible, man. It's crazy. I couldn't do it."

[little_moons]

"Dude, I'm gettin' high at like four in the afternoon. I'm not that fuckin' responsible," I point out with a snort of laughter.

"So, you like art, huh? You been to the gallery?" I haven't really been there in a while, but after bein' stuck in Vanessa Bell's body for a couple days, I'm a whole lot more interested in it than I used to be.

[raw_youth]

"Yeah, that, uh, why," he said. He felt like an idiot and tried to cover his discomfort by taking a long drink. The art had been amazing and it hadn't hurt that he'd had someone who seemed genuinely interested in what he thought. He didn't want to be a pest but the few times he'd seen Anthony...he didn't feel like such a fuckin' loser.

"I...met this guy," he finally said shyly. "He took me to see the paintings. It was, uh, I don't know. Cool, I guess."

[little_moons]

"Yeah, it's pretty cool. I mean, I was never into art back home or anything, but I kinda got to know this woman, who was a painter. She left a while ago, but I liked her a lot."

The whole being stuck in her body thing is more explanation than I wanna go into right now.

[raw_youth]

"Anthony's, uh, like in charge or some shit." He looked down and smiled a little bit. It was a sweet smile that only served to soften his features and make him look younger.

"He's a good looking guy," Dodge noted quietly, but it had a weight to it. Like he was confessing some great secret. It was certainly nothing he'd told anyone else. He hardly dared say it out loud now.

[little_moons]

"Yeah. I've seen him around," I say, grinning crookedly. Bein' the council rep for the arts and all that -- which is still fuckin' bizarre, by the way -- I have to at least be aware of what's goin' on with the gallery.

"I've definitely seen worse," I agree, arching a brow curiously, 'cause he seems like he's almost embarrassed to admit it.