(Untitled)

[jdick]

It shouldn't have surprised him all that much, given how fucking terrible his hearing had been for years, but it sure as hell was annoying. For a few days, Joe had noticed he was turning the right side of his head toward people more than usual. His hearing had been shit in his left ear for a long fucking time, but this was worse than normal and he'

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[colbert_bump]

Stephen was whistling as he went down the hall. He still wasn't sure what to think of Joe, but since he was in a good mood, he wouldn't automatically run away from The Gay.

It was very big of him.

"There a reason you're lurking around here?" Stephen greeted loudly and out of nowhere.

[jdick]

"Jesus fucking Christ, man," Joe snapped, whirling at the sound of Stephen's voice. This fucking bullshit was worse than he thought, because now he looked like a little fucking girl, jumping whenever someone came at him from the wrong side.

"Don't sneak up on people like that," he grumbled, feeling stupid as he rubbed his ear. "I'm not lurking."

[colbert_bump]

Aaaand up went the Eyebrow of Judgment.

"I can see how you would think otherwise, since I am, of course, an expert in the art of stealth, but I wasn't actually sneaking up on you. I was whistling, sir." Stephen frowned, growing suspicious. Sure, Joe claimed to be not-lurking, but the jumpiness could only mean one thing: World Domination.

[jdick]

Joe hadn't heard the whistling, which kind of confirmed what he'd spent all fucking day worrying about and he let out an annoyed sigh, looking back at the clinic. He was going to have to see a fucking doctor whether he liked it or not.

"I'm fucking deaf," he said, poking his finger into his left ear and wiggling it. "Jesus Christ, I didn't even fucking hear you coming."

[colbert_bump]

"Ooooh," Stephen drawled.

Silence.

"Then how are you hearing me now?" So much suspicion. Maybe this was a cover for the World Domination.

[jdick]

Joe's eyebrow finally rose in return and he pointed at his right ear. "Still got ninety percent hearing in this ear. It's just the left one that's all fucked up." It had been all fucked up for a long damn time, but that didn't make this new problem any easier to deal with. Ten percent of his hearing was a hell of a lot different than zero percent, which wasn't a number he liked very much.

[colbert_bump]

Instantly, Stephen brightened, forgetting about his conspiracy theory. (For now.) In fact, it was possible he looked much too happy for someone who was losing their hearing.

"Welcome to the club," he intoned.

[jdick]

"You're deaf in one ear," Joe said, as if he didn't quite believe it. For a moment, he was tempted to point out to Stephen that now they had something in common, but instead kept his mouth shut for the time being. He sort of wanted to know more about this being deaf in one ear shit and he didn't want to be a total dick. Not yet, anyway.

[colbert_bump]

"Absolutely," Stephen said, oddly cheerful. He pointed to his right ear. "Been that way since I was a kid--no eardrum. Which means I can do this."

Ear trick time! He hadn't been able to show it off in a long time. He pushed the top of his ear down and into the canal, where it stayed, and then he winked theatrically and out it popped.

[jdick]

Joe stared in a mixture of horror and amusement, watching Stephen's ear. "What the fuck did you just do and, more importantly, how the hell did you learn you could do that?" Joe was pretty sure if he'd been born without an eardrum, he'd just be that guy who'd been born without an eardrum. Not the guy who could tuck his ear inside itself.

[colbert_bump]

Somehow, Stephen managed to keep himself from bowing. It was a close thing.

"In the shower one day," he said as if that was the most logical answer one could ever give. "Think I was about ten or so...I can't remember, but it doesn't matter. My point, sir, is that I am fantastic."

He wasn't sure that actually was the point of their conversation, but it was safe to assume he would remind anyone of that at any time.

[jdick]

"I... yeah, I guess that's one word for it," Joe said slowly and reluctantly, looking at Stephen with his eyebrows arched. "I don't think that's the same thing I got, though. I think my ear drum is still there, so I won't be able to do your trick."

[colbert_bump]

Stephen looked sympathetic. "It's okay," he said, patting Joe comfortingly on the shoulder. "You can still be in the club."

[jdick]

"Do we get badges and can we hold meetings?" Joe asked dryly, although he was starting to smirk a little. At least this was taking his mind off the fact that he'd gone fucking deaf.

[colbert_bump]

"Absolutely," Stephen replied without hesitation. "I, of course, am President. You do music, right? You could write a theme song. Anthem."

It was possible he was joking. It was equally possible that he wasn't.

[jdick]

"Have you always been like this?" Joe asked, not meaning the ear at all, but he figured if Stephen wanted to take it that way, it was fine. It might be its own answer, if he did.