(Untitled)

[dogbitesman]

Believing one's child to be more advanced than they actually were was a fine tradition of parenthood, and like most fine traditions, William was inclined to dismiss it out of hand, or at least expose it to a great deal of skepticism. He'd read the literature.

So he resolutely did not believe that what Olivia was trying to say was babae, a

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[gildylocks]

Gilderoy needed the stick, not only to demonstrate that swish was quite technical, but also for the same reason that William needed it. Being without a stick meant the crab could get to him. His logic being something along the lines of the age old question how do you escape being attacked by a large, vicious mammal? By running faster than the other person. In this case, by having a stick.

Since the other man so rudely was not going to give up his stick, Gilderoy backed away from the crab and reached for one without taking his eyes off the creature the entire time. After several failed attempts, he was finally in possession of a stick as well. "Swish is technical. It passed my editor," he said, standing firm on the subject. And then holding his stick up as he would his own wand, he attempted to demonstrate a swish. This resulted in the stick breaking in half and nearly hitting Gilderoy in the face.

After a startled yelp, he began his sideways glancing for again. This time with some grumbling about how the sticks on this island were obviously defective.

[dogbitesman]

"Possibly your editor needs a new job," William said, watching this with some consternation. "I wouldn't have let that pass."

The crab did not seem to be advancing, but William swept the stick in front of it just in case. He did not attempt a swish, because he preferred not hitting himself in the face.

[gildylocks]

"Well I wouldn't have hired you," Gilderoy replied as he continued his search for a suitable stick. This was why Olivander had his profession and why Gilderoy was not a wand maker.

"I've published ten books without your help," he said as his hand finally closed around a more sturdy looking stick. "Including Magical Me." Which he said while turning his nose up slightly and straightening his posture. He was too distracted to attempt another swish just yet.

[dogbitesman]

"'Magical Me'?" William said, not particularly bothering to hide his skepticism. "Self-help? One of those books of mantras?"

[gildylocks]

"Autobiographical. And a best-seller too," Gilderoy replied, ignoring the tone in the other man's voice. He turned to say something else and realized his error just in time to back away from the crab. It hadn't moved forward, Gilderoy's movement had been completely precautionary, allowing for plenty of room for reaction.

[dogbitesman]

Tony instinctively moved back when Mr Magical Me did, assuming there was cause, and threw a hand up in front of Olivia as if the crab would make a leap for her.

There was not, it turned out, cause for alarm. "Because you are... famous?" he said. He did not sound convinced. "For household pest control."

[gildylocks]

"Obviously," Gilderoy replied, readying himself for another go with the swish and flick thing. "Amongst other things. As you'll recall, I said earlier that I'd published ten books."

Then, pulling his new stick quickly upward, thus demonstrating the proper execution of 'swish,' he gave a quick flick of the stick toward the crab so as to flick it into the ocean. What resulted instead was a dull thunk sound and the crab not moving whatsoever.

"Well I'm afraid your crab problem is simply hopeless. I do wish you and your daughter a pleasant day. I suggest a hasty retreat or a relocation of festivities. Especially as it may call for more of its friends or make a sudden movement. A mad dash for your leg perhaps or climb this tree and spring itself upon you." Stern warning in place, Gilderoy, and his stick, made a hasty retreat up the beach to follow his own advice and relocate his festivities.