(Untitled)

[nobler_things]

It always comes back to this. To a woman. Always about a girl. It doesn’t matter, he could justify himself six ways to Sunday, and it would always come back to a girl. Everything he’s ever done, everything he is, could all be traced back to one of those bloody women. They’ll be the death of him, one of these days. Had been the death of him, more

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[scoobys_heart]

With his coat over his head, it probably would have been better for Spike to run into a tree. But instead, he managed to trip over the legs of the Scooby who was sitting on the ground, leaning against a tree and trying to carve an animal out of wood that would remotely look like the elephant in the book next to him. Xander had been so caught up in the trunk that he didn't notice the ex-vamp appear out of no where until he was practically in his lap.

And then all he could do was stare, completely and utterly horrified.

Hadn't Deadboy been bad enough? Really? REALLY?!

[nobler_things]

He had just enough time to let out a very manly yelp before he went down in a graceless heap, face first in the sand all over again. It just kept getting better and better.

There was a startling lack of smoke and searing pain, however, which had to be a plus. He sprang up, rolling up onto his knees and looking for all the world like he hadn't just eaten a mouthful of sand. Then he noticed the git who'd been so carelessly in his path, and that was when things officially got weird.

"Harris?"

[scoobys_heart]

This wasn't fair. This just wasn't fair! Yet this was Xander's life, always the butt of every joke. And wasn't this the worst cosmic joke of all. Not even two months...and Spike was back.

And despite everything...seeing him there brought a familiar pang to Xander's heart. And it hurt dammit!

When he finally was able to reply, his voice came out in low, raspy growl, "You asshole! You shouldn't be here. You CAN'T be here!" Well, it wasn't exactly the most sane thing in the word to say but then, Xander never had been one to think before he spoke in the best of occasions.

[nobler_things]

"You're damn right I shouldn't be here. You know, I've got half a mind to think this is all your fault," he said, jabbing a finger in Xander's direction.

"I happened to be in the middle of something, I'll have you know."

[scoobys_heart]

He couldn't help himself. Xander leaned back against the tree and began to laugh, harshly and bitterly. "My fault? Oh that's rich. Since everything that's happened to me lately is yourfault!"

Then he grinned a purely sarcastic grin. "Sorry bleach for brains. Whatever you're in the middle of is going to have to wait. Your stuck on a tropical island now. As a human."

[nobler_things]

"That's ridiculous, how could I be--" he laughed right along, and he really thought they were over this whole Xander hates Spike for sleeping with his girl and maybe, possibly trying to force himself on the Slayer in a time of weakness thing, but the boy did know how to hold a grudge.

But whatever confusion Harris' attitude might have brought on was quickly overshadowed by the realization that he was, in fact, breathing and apparently had what felt suspiciously like a pulse.

"Huh," he said, looking down at himself with a frown.

[scoobys_heart]

Oh if only Spike knew that Xander didn't even know about those things but in fact was made because Spike slept with him, made him believe things, then left him for his sire and had the nerve to disappear all without a word. Then Xander's laughter would probably have been borderline hysterical.

"Yeah. Huh. Got a pulse and everything. So don't go eating people, they kinda frown on that kinda thing here." He retorted cruelly, taking out his anger the only way he could. "So, you from the end of Sunnydale again or what?"

[nobler_things]

"Now, I'm not going to need to be eating them if I'm human, now am I?" he pointed out, and he was sure the shock of it would come later. He'd gloat. He'd shout. He'd go and do all the things he loved just to see how different they felt now, but more pressingly, he looked up and leveled the boy with a frown.

"What's got your knickers all in a twist? And what do you mean again?" Contrary to popular opinion, Spike wasn't stupid. It had occurred to him that this wasn't the Xander he'd last seen. If it weren't for the half a dozen other clues, the two perfectly healthy and intact eyes gave it all away.

[scoobys_heart]

For some reason, being asked that was what set Xander off. The knife and half carved toy that had been in his hands was dropped in the toolbox by his side since he had the overwhelming urge to clench his fists. "You really want to know what's got my knickers in a twist Spike?" He sneered, especially the name. "You really do? Well it's you! Just your fucking presence here on this island again! Here, so you can do what you always do, get people to feel things and then rip away everything they care about without a care in the world! You ruin everything that you touch with your selfish ways and just seeing you is making me sick!" Xander was shouting by the end of his little tirade and was half on his feet, wanting to run right that second, and he would have if it wouldn't have meant leaving his tools behind but some of them were still spread on the ground beside him

[nobler_things]

Spike reared back from that little tirade, and it wasn't like he could deny being selfish, and he couldn't even deny the rest, no matter how much of a changed man he might be. He'd done things he wasn't proud of, destroyed lives and families and souls just for the fun of it, but it was the heat in boy's words, the passion in them that gave Spike pause.

This was personal.

He was on his own feet, feeling a strange and dizzying pitch in his guts, the weight of his limbs, his strength, everything unfamiliar and equal parts frustrating and terrifying. But all that was something he'd have to deal with later, hopefully with a fresh bottle of bourbon.

It took work, real work to think past the litany that started in his head the moment Harris mentioned her name -- Buffy, Buffy, Buffy. Have to find Buffy -- but he was reaching out and clamping a hand around the boy's wrist, yanking him 'round so they were eye to eye. Or at least trying to. It wasn't as easy now that they were more evenly matched

[scoobys_heart]

Xander knew better then to try and pull his wrist back out of Spike's grasp. While the previous Spike had helped Xander with his form, he knew the ex-vamp was still stronger. So instead, he matched him stare for stare. "And the last time I saw you at home, you hit me with a fucking microscope. So don't look for sympathy from me." He wasn't going to talk about the last time he'd seen Spike on the island. That still hurt too much.

"Now if you'll excuse me," Xander tugged on his wrist. "I know you'd rather be off looking for Buffy then worrying about me so just go. She's probably up at the compound." He waved in the general direction with his free hand that held the half sculpted elephant. A toy for Spike's son. Fuck...maybe Helen would let him have the bottle back...

[nobler_things]

"I don't need your bloody sympathy," he spat, in that same low and dangerous voice, crowding in a bit too close for comfort, but eventually he let Harris pull himself free.

He hovered for a moment longer, staring the boy down, then he snorted out a bitter laugh and took a step back. "Right, I'll be on my way then."

[scoobys_heart]

When Spike crowded close, Xander had to close his eyes to hide anything Spike might see in them. He'd never been very good at hiding his emotions and any lingering feelings were the last things he wanted this new Spike to pick up on. And having him close was bringing them back, despite his better judgment.

Xander didn't respond to Spike leaving, not wanting to give him an excuse to stay. And he really wished the thought of Spike going to Buffy didn't hurt. He couldn't help falling to sit in the sand with his head in his hands. This was going to suck...

He wondered if maybe Spike would be merciful and just kill him when he found out why Xander was acting weird. Because that was going to suck even more when he found out.