(Untitled)

[scientificsnark]

Rodney was doing research

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[has_2ls]

"You know, McKay, you could just wing it when the kid gets here. That's what I did."

Jack didn't particularly care if his advice was solicited; he'd never cared before the island and he wasn't going to start now. Besides, Jill had seemed to appreciate his advice.

"Congrats, by the way."

[scientificsnark]

"Since when do you have a kid? Or is there something Carter hasn't told me?" Rodney griped. O'Neill wasn't exactly someone he wanted to see him going through parenting books, it was embarrassing, and they were kind of friends now which made it more than a little humiliating to admit he was about as prepared for this as Dorothy had been for the tornado.

He was working on it, though. All he needed was a Toto.

[has_2ls]

"He died a long time ago," Jack said, slightly more subdued than he'd been a second before. "But I still remember how to do the whole thing. Love kids, even if they are little monsters."

[scientificsnark]

"Oh." Crap. Now he felt bad. Worse, anyway. "Sorry."

He was silent for a moment, looking at his laptop screen. "I hate kids," he said, when he finally spoke up again. "I mean, I don't hate them, I just - I'm not good with them. I make them cry."

[has_2ls]

"It's different when you have your own," Jack said, trying to comfort him a little. "I know that sounds like a load of bull, but I swear it's different somehow."

[scientificsnark]

"I suppose it's hard to hate something with roughly fifty percent of your DNA," Rodney agreed. "At best all you'd be able to manage is indifference." Yeah, he was thinking of his parents, so sue him. It wasn't that they'd been particularly bad parents, just...not particularly good ones, either. In his not-so-expert opinion.

[has_2ls]

"I think you'll work around to fondness," Jack said, laughing a little. "I mean, maybe. Can't presume to know how you geeks operate inside."

[scientificsnark]

"I can't speak for any other geniuses, but I know for a fact my metabolic rate is considerably higher, as is my IQ," Rodney said matter-of-factly. "Immeasurably higher. But don't feel bad, I think you have to drop twenty points to be able to use baby-talk." He shuddered. "I'm not gonna be able to do it."

[has_2ls]

Jack snorted. "Then I'll do it for you. Nothing like weird Uncle Jack to ruin all the parenting the books give you, right?"

[scientificsnark]

"You better not try to teach my kid to fish and bring it back with fishhooks embedded in its eyelids," Rodney frowned.

[has_2ls]

"Honestly, you're implying I'd put your kid in danger," Jack scoffed. "Watch him or her like they were my own, scout's honor."

[scientificsnark]

"Yeah right," said Rodney. "We'll see if I even let you babysit at all, Colonel." He would. Though he couldn't believe he was even thinking that far ahead, considering the problems he was having even wrapping his head around the pregnancy itself.

[has_2ls]

"Your loss," Jack said blithely. "So. You wanna go fishing? Beats researching all this crap, at least to me."

[scientificsnark]

On some level, Rodney was flattered O'Neill had asked him, of all people. But..."What, now? I can't, I don't have any sun protection, I'd have to go to the clinic first to get some cream. Unless you have some? SPF 40+ or greater, it has to be 40+ or greater."

[has_2ls]

Jack arched a brow and shook his head. "We'll go get the sunblock if you want it. Might do you good to get a tan though, considering. Sam too, but she kinda burns."

[scientificsnark]

"Does she?" Rodney asked, trying not to sound too interested. "I go redder than a beetroot. And then I peel. A lot. I'm like an onion...beetroot...hybrid."