I can't comprehend the ways that I miss you, they come to light in my mistakes

[new_ophelia]

Kate's not sure how many days it's been. A few, at least. Not a week. She knows she fed Sam a couple of hours ago. Meeting whatever needs he has is the only thing that gives time any kind of meaning right now. There's just this looming future, the rest of her life now, that she's got to get through. Without Jack. Every instinct she has is screaming

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[vendettaevey]

Evey had been worried about Kate, had been worried about Sam as well, but she respected the need to grieve alone and had just left food she was sure wouldn't be eaten. It wasn't about the food, after all. It was about letting someone know you cared, even if they didn't want to eat.

When she arrived that morning with another batch of the scones Abby made so well, she saw Kate and Sam on the porch and nearly turned around, if only so she didn't intrude on their grief, but she really couldn't eat all the scones and Rollo shouldn't.

She walked as quietly as ever, using every bit of what she'd learned from V, and placed the scones on the edge of the porch, then smiled slightly and turned to go.

If there was one thing Evey Hammond understood, it was the grief of losing loved ones, and with that came the knowledge that she'd never force anyone to do anything in their own grief, including say good morning.

[new_ophelia]

Sam perks up a little at the newcomer, letting out a soft noise, even as he sees it isn't his dad. "Thanks," Kate mumbles, trying to clear her eyes. "For the food."

[vendettaevey]

Evey turned silently at that, still employing all her skill at nearly disappearing, but smiled softly at Sam and Kate.

"You're welcome. I'm very sorry about Jack," she replied. The words didn't help, were just pat responses they all said, but it was true that she was sorry.

"If you ever need any help with anything, someone to talk to, or even someone to scream at, please let me know. I've got cotton wool for the last possibility."

[new_ophelia]

Kate just nods at that, not trusting her voice for a moment. "You can, you can come up if you want," she finally says, sitting up as she resettles Sam. "I need to at least try to talk, I think."

[vendettaevey]

"Alright," she agreed immediately, with a nod of understanding at Kate's explanation. She settled onto the other chair on the porch and waved at Sam.

"Do you need anything?" she asked, though she suspected the answer was No, other than having Jack back on the island. Kate clearly had plenty of food, even if she hadn't eaten much of it.

[new_ophelia]

She shakes her head, knowing full well Evey knows she can't give Kate what she wants. "So, I guess everyone knows, then? I think I remember them saying they'd take care of it?"

It's one of the many reasons she is holed up in the house. Telling someone isn't something she can handle right now.

[vendettaevey]

Evey nodded in confirmation, but also spoke quietly. "I wouldn't say everyone knows, but your friends are aware, as evidenced by the food. Duck and Geoffrey have been manning sentry posts for the last few days, so they've told anyone who may have come by."

She didn't wish Kate to think she was the pity object of the island since she certainly wasn't.

[new_ophelia]

"Okay," she murmurs, letting Sam twist around to look at their guest. It's been a few days since he's seen much of anyone. "Thanks for letting me hole up here. For the food and everything. I can't leave the house."

[vendettaevey]

"Everyone wants to help. I'm glad you're letting us," she explained, making a face at Sam.

"And there's no need to leave the house until you're ready. No one can tell you how to grieve or how not to."

It would eventually be unhealthy if Kate didn't leave the house, but she doubted that would become a problem.

[new_ophelia]

"I just," she starts, swallowing past the tightness in her throat. "Four years, you know? From when it started till now. And I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. It's like he's dead."

[vendettaevey]

"It is quite a long time," she agreed. "And it's difficult to look at a life without a person in it and even contemplate another sunrise. It's very difficult."

She hesitated, because she didn't wish to make this conversation focused on her when that was certainly not the important person here, but she thought it might help Kate somewhat. It was difficult to be so direct about her past, so she took a deep breath, and then spoke.

"My entire immediate family and both of the men I've l-loved are all dead. I've had many days in which I have wondered what to do next and how to do it. No one can tell you what that process will be like, but I can tell you that you will get through it eventually, and in your own time."

[new_ophelia]

"Jesus," Kate boggles, coughing at the sudden sharp use of her voice. How the hell did she not know any of this?

"Do you want to talk about it? How did I not know this?"

[vendettaevey]

Evey smiled slightly and sadly, but spoke calmly, "Well, it isn't the sort of thing one really goes about telling people, even if they are friends, and it very rarely comes up in conversation. And thank you, but there's no need to really talk about it unless you think it might help. I didn't mention it to bring the conversation round to me, after all."

She really hadn't, which was always her concern about mentioning her past. It was, she acknowledged, the type to cause sympathy in most people, so the conversation tended to become uncomfortably focused on her when she hadn't intended that at all.

[new_ophelia]

"No, I mean...I'm glad you trust me enough to tell me," she murmurs, trying to fit this new information into the puzzle that is Evey. "How did you get through all of that? I can't even...this one thing I can't even deal with this one thing."

[vendettaevey]

She looked down and away, since she was more than a bit embarrassed to have the conversation focused on herself even if she had begun it, then looked back up at Kate to answer the question honestly.

"But you are. You're feeding Sam and taking care of him. No one would expect you to be going about doing a jig so soon after, but you're getting what you need to get done, done. I don't know how anyone would say that isn't dealing with it," she pointed out. "And I got through it the same way."

She decided not to add anything about in the JRP after her parents' death and absolutely having to complete various tasks or else face severe punishment (not that it hadn't happened anyway). That was a bit too much revelation for one day.