(Untitled)

[dickgout]

Winter in Bon Temps was never like this.

Maybe it snowed once or twice, but this was a fucking winter wonderland, like in the songs, and it made him wish like hell Sookie was there. She'd really like it, Jason thought, and he was pretty sure it was darker longer in the winter, even if he didn't measure it here, and then she could do disgusting

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[so_heavy]

Max has only encountered Jason the once, but it was enough to give him the impression that the guy wasn't firing on all cylinders. This, though- This is new heights of idiocy, and he might mock the guy if he didn't feel so fucking sorry for his dumb ass.

"You're making it worse," he sighs upon approach, rifling in his heavy coat pocket for his pack of cigarettes and lighter. "Just hold the fuck on a minute, and we'll get you back to the brain trust you escaped from, man."

[dickgout]

"'uck 'ou, 'at'th a 'ain thust," mouthed Jason, pretty sure it wasn't something complimentary. He started to explain about the no snow in Lousiana and his sister dating the undead thing, but it made his tongue tear a little in a way that was quick to shut him up.

This really could have happened to anyone.

[so_heavy]

Having lit a cigarette, Max pocketed the pack and lighter and stood there impassively smoking it while Jason fought to make his mouth work.

"You think so?" he asked, and held up the cigarette for Jason to see. "I could use this cigarette to warm that thing up so you can get your tongue off it, or I could just say fuck you too, and leave you here. Your choice, man."

[dickgout]

This guy was a little more S&M than Jason would have thought, or was really comfortable with, considering the nature of his predicament. It didn't help that he was half bent over, leaving himself unprotected for anything that... well. Man, he needed to stop thinking of things so sexually. OF COURSE this guy probably wasn't going to... was the ice getting into his brain?

"'elp 'eeeeee," he whined.

[so_heavy]

"Let that be a lesson to you: next time you're up shit creek, don't fuck with the guy with the paddles," Max says as he steps over and carefully holds the slowly-smoldering cigarette next to the metal by Jason's tongue. "I wouldn't have actually left you here like this, but a lot of guys are dicks."

[dickgout]

The lighter probably should have been freakier, but Jason had seen a lot of freaky shit in his last year or two, and he was just plain glad as the metal warmed up and he could feel the ice starting to melt and give way.

His fucking hero.