(Untitled)

[dickgout]

Winter in Bon Temps was never like this.

Maybe it snowed once or twice, but this was a fucking winter wonderland, like in the songs, and it made him wish like hell Sookie was there. She'd really like it, Jason thought, and he was pretty sure it was darker longer in the winter, even if he didn't measure it here, and then she could do disgusting

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[percy_jackson]

I stared at the man, and folded my arms. "Aw, man. You didn't!"

[dickgout]

"'ey kith," Jason exhaled. "'uckin' 'et o'er 'ere," He waved a hand frantically.

[percy_jackson]

"You know," I said, coming closer and looking up the metal. He really was stuck fast. "You hear about people doing this sort of thing, but I never actually saw one until now. I always thought such people were a myth. I mean, who'd be silly enough to lick a cold metal pole, knowing you'd get stuck?"

[dickgout]

"'uck 'ou 'ihhh!" shouted Jason, as best he could. He didn't generally beat up kids, but he did when they made fun of him for being stupid. It happened. Sometimes.

[percy_jackson]

"Now, hold your horses," I said, raising my hands in a soothing gesture. At least, as soothing as I can be. "You don't want to pull back on that tongue, in case you leave a piece of it behind on the metal. But we'll get you off, don't you worry. We'll think this through."

[dickgout]

Jason wished really, really bad his tongue wasn't stuck so he could wedgie the kid for offering to get him off. Apparently, the seven year old inside Jason that had licked the pole was still there.

"Mmmmmmph," Jason sighed sadly.

[percy_jackson]

"Now, all we really need to do is warm your tongue up, to melt where your saliva has frozen," I said, stepping forward. "If we had some coffee or hot chocolate, we could do that easily. Even a glass of water would work. But that would take too long." I took off my gloves and rubbed my hands together, long and hard. "Maybe if I were to use my hands..."

[dickgout]

Jason just stared at him. This kid couldn't be seriously considering the tongue-fondling thing. If Jason was going to... yeah, with some guy, it wasn't going to be a kid.

"'ooooooooooo."

[percy_jackson]

I didn't know what the guy's problem was. I mean, what could be worse than finding yourself attached to a metal pole by your tongue? Or did he think I was going to take advantage of his position or something? Hey, I'd known enough people who'd do just that, and I wasn't like them at all.

"It's okay," I said, putting the pole between us and rubbing my hands together some more. It would have been better if I'd had some warm liquid, but this would have to do. Using the side of my palm, I slid it down the pole and pressed it gently where his tongue met the metal. I had to rub my hands together a couple more times, but the heat seemed to do the trick. He was soon free. "There," I said.