(Untitled)

[not_the_grim]

Some days, it's like Sirius can feel that other shoe waiting to drop. It's a tangible thing, an entity, hovering over his head like a rain cloud in a cartoon. Some days, he wants to take hold of it and pull it down just to get it over with

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[little_moons]

I'm in the water before he surfaces.

Not some fucking savior, I'm not charging in to rescue him like I've had people do for me on more than one occasion. I'm just waiting. Brow arched when he breaks the surface, waiting 'til I know he can hear me when I say, "If you're tryin' to kill yourself, you might wanna jump headfirst."

[not_the_grim]

The voice is unexpected and startles Sirius a little, although he manages to mask it in the froth of water and the act of throwing his hair back. Over a year he's been saying he's going to cut his hair, but it hasn't happened yet.

"If I was trying to kill myself, there are certainly more effective ways of going about it," he shoots back, although he can't deny that the possibility occurred to him.

[little_moons]

"Well, that's assumin' you're not being a dramatic idiot about it," I point out, arching a brow, my shorts weighted down with water and my shirt lying crumpled on the rocks. It's fucked up, but this kinda shit doesn't even shock me anymore. I lived with Logan Echolls, for chrissakes.

"Logan tried shit like that a couple of time. Said he was tired of this place and going home. I dunno, maybe it'd work."

[not_the_grim]

"Twelve years in prison followed by an utterly unremarkable death," Sirius muses, one long spindly leg kicking Neil's way, his foot hooking behind Neil's closest knee. "Who wouldn't trade an island paradise to go back to that? You can't blame me if I suddenly do off myself in a fit of pique."

[little_moons]

"You don't want an island paradise," I point out with a laugh, hooking our legs together more securely and reeling him in closer. He's never said it in so many words but I know it, he knows, there's no point pretending otherwise.

[not_the_grim]

This is true, too, and as he allows himself to be tugged closer, Sirius thinks that perhaps Neil pays more attention that he ought.

"And what if I don't want anything?" he asks, a long arm slung across shoulders nearly as skinny as his own.

[little_moons]

"Then you're already dead," I answer simply, lifting one shoulder in a lazy shrug under the weight of his arm, "Everybody wants something."

Arching a brow at him, my lips twitching into a smirk, I say, "Mostly, I just think you're full of shit."

[not_the_grim]

Sirius laughs at that, head tipped back and eyes focused on the cloudless expanse of sky above them. "It keeps things interesting," he insists, not for a moment considering denying it. "Must not be too bad, you keep coming round."

[little_moons]

"Yeah, everybody's always tellin' me what a fuckin' masochist I am," I mutter dryly, reaching up to push a clump of wet hair from his forehead and flashing him a obnoxiously bright grin. "I can't help myself."

[not_the_grim]

"One more thing we have in common," Sirius notes, and then pulls the both of them beneath the churning water. It isn't until that moment, skinny limbs sliding against each other, the muted roar of the waterfall in his ears, that he remembers the last time they'd been here, together, and what had come of it. He can look at Neil now and see the change, but of himself, he isn't so sure.

[little_moons]

I get out a startled yelp before I'm yanked under the surface, tangling up even more with him, and for that one moment where my body flails and panics from lack of air, I'm not sure which way is up. I catch a sharp, bony elbow in the face, our knees knocking together, and when I break the surface gasping, we're closer to the falls than before.

"You dick," I laugh, shoving him away roughly.

[not_the_grim]

"You bloody love it, you tart," Sirius says once he's stopped sputtering out the water he inhaled in the fracas, his hair plastered half-across his face and constantly dripping with the spray from the falls. "I'd tempt you into the cave again, but I don't think I could take you going all swoony on me," he continues as he pushes his hair from his eyes. "You'd want to go for sunset walks and hold hands at the dinner table. Can't be having that."

[little_moons]

"Aw, you remembered," I practically coo, reaching out to push the hair from his face and squishing his cheeks together. "You fuckin' need a sunset walk, you moody little prick."

[not_the_grim]

"Who's moody?" Sirius protests, flipping one hand up out of the water in a curious gesture. "I'm just out here enjoying a dip, living life to the fullest with my mate, Neil. Nothing moody about that, although I could do, if you really wanted. I know how you like the dark, broody types."

[little_moons]

"That is what I've been waitin' for this whole fuckin' time. You do that, I'll just drop everythin' and we can run away together," I mutter dryly, giving his cheek a tap and then ducking under the water and darting away.