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[turnthebadinme]

There had never been a shortage of magazines on the bookshelf when Serena checked it. Real books, even good ones, cropped up, too, but magazines had been plentiful from the start. It was kind of silly, she guessed, reading up on fashions she couldn't follow and people she hadn't seen in ages, but somehow all the spun fantasy of things like Vogue

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[learnwhatsreal]

"Hey, what are all those?" Jenny asked, having come into the rec room for the sole purpose of doing what it looked like Serena had already beaten her to. She was pretty sure she'd all but exhausted the supply of decent magazines that the island was likely to give her in her entire lifetime, but that wasn't going to stop her from looking for more. Even when they were old, it was a good way to pass the time, and besides, looking at old fashions was undeniably hilarious. Approaching, she glanced at the cover of one, then her eyes widened considerably when she saw the date. "Oh my god, are these new?"

[turnthebadinme]

Serena nodded as she glanced up at Jenny. "Yeah, they're all new," she said, surveying the collection with mild disdain. "I'm still waiting for all the Fashion Week issues to turn up, but I'll let you know when they do." Maybe she'd get lucky and find Marc had named another purse after her or Zac had made her a dress, although those things were slightly torturous in light of not being able to have them.

[learnwhatsreal]

"God, what I wouldn't give," Jenny sighed, almost wistful, absently picking up one of the magazines and flipping through it, though not paying enough attention to its contents to recognize Serena pictured there. Though this hadn't been her life, just seeing something from her own time -- her future, really -- was comforting, like having a little part of home there with her. It still didn't do anything to assuage the homesickness she'd felt far more strongly over the past few weeks. "Maybe we can't pull off dressing like that here, but it'd still be nice to see, you know?"

[turnthebadinme]

"Yeah," Serena agreed, sheepish as she tucked her hair behind her ear. "I mean, it's so silly, but just looking at these pictures makes me miss my wardrobe. And, apparently, what it became, but... that whole world." She glanced down in thought, worrying at her lip. It wasn't something she liked to admit, not when she'd rebelled against all that so thoroughly before, but there were parts of it she was sorry she had left behind.

[learnwhatsreal]

"Yeah, well, you definitely aren't the only one," Jenny admitted, a little sheepish herself, sinking down into a seat beside Serena, fingers tracing over the covers of a couple of the nicer magazines there. The worlds they came from were vastly different in comparison, and yet here, it didn't seem that much so at all. A short train ride separated Brooklyn from the Upper East Side. Both were unreachable from where they were now. "You'd think going home again would make me want to be back there less, but... I've missed it more since we woke up here again than I did before."

[turnthebadinme]

Serena glanced over at Jenny, stomach tightening as she let what she'd said sink in, then nodded. "Yeah," she admitted, sighing. "Me too." Shaking her head, she shrugged one shoulder higher and glanced down at a copy of Voici, not really seeing it in focus. "It's crazy. I thought I was... you know, okay with being here and all. And I am, I am, I just... it seems really far away."

[learnwhatsreal]

Jenny nodded mutely, gaze cast down towards her lap. This place had its perks; even she couldn't deny that. As of late, though, things hadn't been so great in the first place, and to get a taste of home only to have it taken away was harder than she ever would have imagined. For all she knew, she would never get to have that, never get to see her brother or her dad or her mom again. That she'd met some people she really cared about here didn't seem quite so important in comparison. "So far away we can't get back to it," she said, sullen, then gestured to some of the magazines. "And all we get are these as a reminder."

[turnthebadinme]

Serena bit her lip, worrying at it briefly as she considered her next words, then, on an impulse, leaned forward and grabbed a copy of Brunte. "Yeah, well," she said, "maybe it's a reminder that being here isn't all bad." Flipping through the pages until she found one of herself in Barcelona, dancing on a table, she set it down in front of Jenny. "We're different people now. Maybe this life's a good one. Maybe we're here for a reason."

[learnwhatsreal]

"Oh, my god," Jenny blurted out, eyes widening a little at the picture of who was unmistakably Serena on the page. Serena had once had a reputation for things like that, Jenny knew, but Jenny had never seen any of it for herself; she'd been in middle school when Serena left Constance Billard, after all, and Jenny hadn't exactly hung with the same crowd that she did in high school back then. Still, given the date of the magazine, the image was undeniably startling. "Sorry, I just... wow." She paused, glancing at the picture again before she looked up at Serena next to her, a little more somber. "I guess you're right. I mean, you saw for yourself, I wasn't exactly headed in a good direction when I showed up here."

[turnthebadinme]

Serena winced a little at Jenny's reaction, but she couldn't fault her for it. She'd had a similar one herself, after all. Being here, though, could only be a good thing if that was what the future held for her. She'd turned herself around. It wasn't so hard anymore just to be good.

Reaching over, she laid a hand on Jenny's shoulder, shaking her head. "Well, you've done pretty good since as far as I can see," she said. "That's what matters."

[learnwhatsreal]

"And you aren't dancing on tables, so I guess that makes two of us," Jenny added wryly, shrugging. Admittedly, whatever had happened to make Serena revert to her old habits, Jenny was glad it hadn't happened again here. She'd come to consider Serena almost like family in the time they'd been here, ridiculous as it might've felt to admit that. "This wouldn't be so bad at all, if it weren't... not home."

[turnthebadinme]

"Yeah, well," Serena murmured, smiling ruefully. "I don't think that's changing anytime soon." She really had come to think of the island as home, though, at least for a while there. Back from Manhattan, it was a little more difficult, her real home still so clear in her memory. There was a lot about this place she loved, though, a lot that made it important to her even so.

[learnwhatsreal]

"Probably not," Jenny agreed, managing a bit of a laugh. She didn't see how it ever could be, either. The closest it'd come was when Dan was still around, and even then, they had been on shaky ground at best when he disappeared. She had people here she cared about, but it still seemed weirdly empty, in a way she couldn't quite describe. Mostly, she just missed New York. "This place does do crazy things, but that would definitely surprise me."

[turnthebadinme]

"It's not a bad place, though," Serena said, voice softly reassuring as she reached over to pat Jenny's arm. "It could be a lot better, but it could be a lot worse. I really think it's what we make of it." She did her best to love it. There was no shame in wanting to be home, no crime in being happy here. It had taken her a while to come to terms with both at once, but she knew it was true.

[learnwhatsreal]

"Oh, I know," Jenny assured her quickly, not wanting to come across as liking this place less than she did. There were some ways in which she had it made here. Money was no longer an issue; she only had to take whatever classes she felt like, and even then, it didn't count for anything. She had more friends here, too, than she'd had back in New York. None of that, though, could replace her family. "Believe me, I've seen enough crazy things this place can do to know it could definitely be worse."

[turnthebadinme]

"I think magically appearing in this place to begin with is proof enough," she laughed. It had only been the start, but Serena had committed herself from the beginning to trying to make the best of this life. "God, I can't believe how different things look there now."