While he may have been stranded on a tropical island in some sort of pocket dimension, Arnold Rimmer certainly couldn't complain about the weather. It was almost always bright and sunny, and for someone who had spent most of his recent existence stuck on a spaceship out in the depths of space it was a welcome change.
His bunkmate Lister was still mooning over the disappearance of Kochanski, his one-time girlfriend, and while things were better between Lister and himself, Arnold still could only stand so much of it. In an attempt to escape Arnold had decided to get out of the Compound for a while. Sick of the outrageous clothes he'd acquired just after his arrival, he'd rummaged through the Clothes Box until he'd found a respectable shirt and a decent pair or shorts. The Bookshelf had also cooperated without too much fuss and had given him a biography of Erwin Rommel. Thus equipped he headed down to the beach with the intent of sitting under a nice palm tree for an afternoon of reading.
He wasn't surprised to see some else on the beach when he got there. The island wasn't very big after all, and the beach was a popular place to spend time. Arnold would have just ignored her and walked right on by execpt for the fact that she was wearing a fur coat.
"What are you doing on the beach wearing a fur coat?" He asked as he approached the woman, his nasally voice holding a note of disbelief.
Margot half-turned, gaze flicking once over the man. She didn't recognize him. That made sense - she didn't recognize the beach, either.
She was fairly certain that if this was a figment of her imagination, there would have been something familiar about it, but there wasn't. She took a long drag of her cigarette and let the smoke out slowly, through her nostrils, dark eyelashes shuttering just once before she gave the man her undivided attention.
She fixed him with her most unsettling stare and said, "I guess I didn't come prepared."
He wasn't standing very close to her to begin with, but the combination of her unnerving eyes and exhalation of smoke made Arnold unconsciously back up a step. He told himself it was because he detested smoking but couldn't completely dismiss the effect of her expression either. It was vaguely reminiscent of a GELF looking for a snack. That didn't stop him from putting on a brave front though.
"No, you didn't, did you?" His condescending tone sounded a little forced but still carried the weight of his disdain. "Most people have the good sense to wear lighter clothing for a stroll along the beach. I can't believe you left the Compound wearing a fur coat!"
It then occurred to Arnold that he'd at least glimpsed most of the people living in the Compound but didn't recognize the woman in front of him.
"Wait a minute..." he said slowly. "You're new here aren't you?"
Compound? The man wasn't making any sense. Margot was about to point this out, when finally something he was saying seemed to offer an avenue of logic.
"That depends," Margot said slowly, removing the cigarette from her lips with two fingers and letting it dangle by her side. "On what you mean by 'new' and 'here'."
"I mean new and here as in until a few moments ago you weren't standing on a beach in a weird pocket dimension consisting of two tropical islands." He sounded smug, as if he was quite pleased with himself for having sussed it all out. "Whether you believe it or not, you've been transported across time and space by aliens and dumped here along with the rest of us." He regarded her for a moment.
"Are you from Earth? Most people here seem to be from some point in Earth's history, but there are a few oddballs that aren't." Clearly not being an Earthling made someone a bit inferior in Arnold's opinion.
Margot stared at him with a look that clearly said she wasn't buying any of this. It was hard to tell, however, whether this actually meant she didn't believe him - she was, after all, standing on a beach; she couldn't very well deny that - she generally wore that kind of look anyway.
She probably didn't believe the part about aliens.
"I'm from Earth," she said, after a moment or two. "Are you?"
"100% Human!" he said proudly. "Although I haven't been to Earth in quite some time. You see, before I was transported here I was stranded on a ship out in deep space. And believe you me, being trapped on a tropical island is far preferable to be being trapped on a spaceship!" While the island occasionally seemed small in comparison (Red Dwarf had been 5 over miles long with hundreds of decks after all) Arnold still preferred his island existence to that of his ship-board one.
"My name's Rimmer, Arnold Rimmer," he said by way of introduction. "Since you're from Earth you'll have an easier time adjusting to your new surroundings. This place is called Tabula Rasa. It's sort of like Fiji before the volcano erupted and it sank below sea level."
Margot kept staring at him. She was beginning to wonder if this - island, if that was what it really was - was home to some kind of an asylum. She could have gone insane, blacked out, woken up only after being unceremoniously dumped here by her family. It would explain this clearly insane man's presence, and hers as well.
But she was pretty sure Richie, at least, wouldn't let the family do that to her.
"What else?" she asked, sucking in a lungful of calming smoke from her cigarette. She'd never admit it, but she felt a little unsettled.
She seemed to be taking things extremely well, considering she'd just arrived and all, so Arnold plowed ahead. Clasping his hands behind his back, being sure to keep a good grip on the biography of Rommel, Arnold stood up a little straighter and launched in an explanation of the island
"There are two major islands here, this one and a smaller one a little ways away. If you head in-land a bit you'll find the Compound. It's got all the amenities of home; food, beds, running water, and even some limited forms of entertainment. You can also get some more suitable clothes there as well. There probably won't be much call for your fur coat while you're here." He didn't add that the Clothes box was just as likely to give her an outfit that not even Lister would wear as it was to give her something decent.
"There are roughly 400 hundred people living here, more or less. Most of them are surprisingly friendly and likely won't try to kill you," he added, as if people trying to kill him on sight was a common occurrence. "The population of the island varies, as people seem to appear and disappear with no rhyme or reason." His posture relaxed and his expression became sympathetic.
"I'm sorry, but I have no idea when you'll be able to go home. No one seems to be able to leave on their own. Still, this really isn't such a bad place to be stranded, all things considered."
Margot knew she ought to be paying close attention, but something about the man's drawling, nasally tone made her want to stub her cigarette out in his eye or fall asleep. Possibly both, in that order.
"Okay," she said, when he was finished. She debated asking if there was anything else she should know, if he honestly thought aliens had brought her here, and a number of other things...but she was just glad he'd stopped talking, really.
He just kind of stared at her for a moment, clearly expecting more of a reaction. Eventually he gave himself a mental shake and move on.
"Right. Well, luckily for you I'm a member of the Island's Police Department. We're trained in how to deal with new arrivals. Follow me and I'll get you settled in, Miss...?"
"Tenenbaum." Margot watched for a reaction to this, but part of her didn't think there would be any. It was quite a large part. She doubted her family was well-known here...wherever here really was.
She was almost worried to see the state of the rest of the island's police department if this man was a member.
"Nice to meet you Miss Tenenbaum. Now, this way please," he said, motioning with his hand towards a path leading inland. "We'll get you registered at the IPD offices, find you a bunk in the Crash Room, and then I'll give you a tour of the facilities." He turned and headed towards the path, assuming Miss Tenenbaum would follow along promptly.
Margot did, silently, glancing around her as she went in a faintly interested manner. She could have been touring a gallery or browsing a clothes rack.
Arnold lead Miss Tenenbaum to the Compound and gave her a brief tour, pointing out the Kitchen, the Clinic, the Rec Room, the Laundry Room and the Clothes Box, the Council Offices, and finally the IPD offices. There he got her registered and set her up with a bed in the Crash Room. After telling her that she could come to the IPD if she had any questions about anything, he told her to enjoy her stay on the island and headed off to get caught up on some filing.
His bunkmate Lister was still mooning over the disappearance of Kochanski, his one-time girlfriend, and while things were better between Lister and himself, Arnold still could only stand so much of it. In an attempt to escape Arnold had decided to get out of the Compound for a while. Sick of the outrageous clothes he'd acquired just after his arrival, he'd rummaged through the Clothes Box until he'd found a respectable shirt and a decent pair or shorts. The Bookshelf had also cooperated without too much fuss and had given him a biography of Erwin Rommel. Thus equipped he headed down to the beach with the intent of sitting under a nice palm tree for an afternoon of reading.
He wasn't surprised to see some else on the beach when he got there. The island wasn't very big after all, and the beach was a popular place to spend time. Arnold would have just ignored her and walked right on by execpt for the fact that she was wearing a fur coat.
"What are you doing on the beach wearing a fur coat?" He asked as he approached the woman, his nasally voice holding a note of disbelief.
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She was fairly certain that if this was a figment of her imagination, there would have been something familiar about it, but there wasn't. She took a long drag of her cigarette and let the smoke out slowly, through her nostrils, dark eyelashes shuttering just once before she gave the man her undivided attention.
She fixed him with her most unsettling stare and said, "I guess I didn't come prepared."
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"No, you didn't, did you?" His condescending tone sounded a little forced but still carried the weight of his disdain. "Most people have the good sense to wear lighter clothing for a stroll along the beach. I can't believe you left the Compound wearing a fur coat!"
It then occurred to Arnold that he'd at least glimpsed most of the people living in the Compound but didn't recognize the woman in front of him.
"Wait a minute..." he said slowly. "You're new here aren't you?"
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"That depends," Margot said slowly, removing the cigarette from her lips with two fingers and letting it dangle by her side. "On what you mean by 'new' and 'here'."
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"Are you from Earth? Most people here seem to be from some point in Earth's history, but there are a few oddballs that aren't." Clearly not being an Earthling made someone a bit inferior in Arnold's opinion.
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She probably didn't believe the part about aliens.
"I'm from Earth," she said, after a moment or two. "Are you?"
She doubted it.
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"My name's Rimmer, Arnold Rimmer," he said by way of introduction. "Since you're from Earth you'll have an easier time adjusting to your new surroundings. This place is called Tabula Rasa. It's sort of like Fiji before the volcano erupted and it sank below sea level."
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But she was pretty sure Richie, at least, wouldn't let the family do that to her.
"What else?" she asked, sucking in a lungful of calming smoke from her cigarette. She'd never admit it, but she felt a little unsettled.
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"There are two major islands here, this one and a smaller one a little ways away. If you head in-land a bit you'll find the Compound. It's got all the amenities of home; food, beds, running water, and even some limited forms of entertainment. You can also get some more suitable clothes there as well. There probably won't be much call for your fur coat while you're here." He didn't add that the Clothes box was just as likely to give her an outfit that not even Lister would wear as it was to give her something decent.
"There are roughly 400 hundred people living here, more or less. Most of them are surprisingly friendly and likely won't try to kill you," he added, as if people trying to kill him on sight was a common occurrence. "The population of the island varies, as people seem to appear and disappear with no rhyme or reason." His posture relaxed and his expression became sympathetic.
"I'm sorry, but I have no idea when you'll be able to go home. No one seems to be able to leave on their own. Still, this really isn't such a bad place to be stranded, all things considered."
Reply
"Okay," she said, when he was finished. She debated asking if there was anything else she should know, if he honestly thought aliens had brought her here, and a number of other things...but she was just glad he'd stopped talking, really.
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"Right. Well, luckily for you I'm a member of the Island's Police Department. We're trained in how to deal with new arrivals. Follow me and I'll get you settled in, Miss...?"
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She was almost worried to see the state of the rest of the island's police department if this man was a member.
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Part of her wished that she was.
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