(no subject)
There is so little time left. No one believes my warnings, which I'm used to. No one listens to me, especially when they really should. The platform is a daily reminder of what is coming- As is the kicking and twisting life pressing for room to move. Soon, the child will be born. Soon...
I'll deal with it when it happens. I'm so much more prepared now than Iwas when Adria was born. I'd used the whole 'will of the gods' line on Tomin simply to save my life. If I'd known, maybe, well...I doubt I'd have been wholly selfless, but then a part of me hoped the child hadn't survived. Now? Now almost everything in me hoped the child wouldn't be what I imagined. If it was, this whole idyllic life and all the people here were doomed.
I wondered how many would accept Origin. I certainly wouldn't. Then there were times I wondered if this child wasn't of the Ori at all. I wondered if this place had it's own capricious gods, bestowing gifts and torments and changes at a whim. Regardless, I had the hardest time believing Doctor Woodcomb when he said everything was awesome.
I decided that the heat and the weight of my belly were too much and so I slipped on my suit and went to the pool near the waterfall. It was an amazing thing, floating. Being weightless made it possible to feel the child within me with more accuracy. A foot. The rump. An elbow. Part of me hoped that it would be easier to handle than Adria. Part of me wished it wouldn't live. Shockingly enough, the majority of my heart hoped beyond hope that it would be normal. That it would be fine. That it would simply be a baby and I could find some sort of peace.
But who was I kidding?
I'll deal with it when it happens. I'm so much more prepared now than Iwas when Adria was born. I'd used the whole 'will of the gods' line on Tomin simply to save my life. If I'd known, maybe, well...I doubt I'd have been wholly selfless, but then a part of me hoped the child hadn't survived. Now? Now almost everything in me hoped the child wouldn't be what I imagined. If it was, this whole idyllic life and all the people here were doomed.
I wondered how many would accept Origin. I certainly wouldn't. Then there were times I wondered if this child wasn't of the Ori at all. I wondered if this place had it's own capricious gods, bestowing gifts and torments and changes at a whim. Regardless, I had the hardest time believing Doctor Woodcomb when he said everything was awesome.
I decided that the heat and the weight of my belly were too much and so I slipped on my suit and went to the pool near the waterfall. It was an amazing thing, floating. Being weightless made it possible to feel the child within me with more accuracy. A foot. The rump. An elbow. Part of me hoped that it would be easier to handle than Adria. Part of me wished it wouldn't live. Shockingly enough, the majority of my heart hoped beyond hope that it would be normal. That it would be fine. That it would simply be a baby and I could find some sort of peace.
But who was I kidding?