(no subject)
Peter is still trying to come to terms with something that's yet to truly settle into his mind. Part of him is well-aware of the fact that when he makes the long walk down the corridor, there is no one remaining in the room down the hall. Lionel has been gone for a great deal of time now, but Peter hasn't felt it so much as he's been acutely aware of the facts. It's started to creep up on him, bearing down like a weight of grief.
Today, it feels as though it's pressing upon his lungs and he can't breathe. He hadn't been able to stay in the Boarding House for the memories and the joy that clattered at his mind. He can't bear to stay anywhere near the piano in the common area because he's reminded of an aria he once composed for a man that he had been terribly serious about.
That, alone, is cause to grieve.
Lionel had been the start of a new sort of life for Peter and now that he's gone, Peter feels that calm ebbing away from him. When he finds himself staring at the ferris wheel and sinking down onto a bench near the Compound and pinching the bridge of his nose as tears start to fall freely and he chokes back the sound of a quiet sob from his throat.
Lionel is gone and with him the promise of a future together. Perhaps now, in retrospect, he understands just how much he had wanted that. Perhaps now, just now, he is finally coming to terms with the fact that he will never again wake up to Lionel's beautiful face or see his pictures in the evening or feel the warmth of his breath upon his skin.
Such moments in life are what dirges and D-minors are for.
Today, it feels as though it's pressing upon his lungs and he can't breathe. He hadn't been able to stay in the Boarding House for the memories and the joy that clattered at his mind. He can't bear to stay anywhere near the piano in the common area because he's reminded of an aria he once composed for a man that he had been terribly serious about.
That, alone, is cause to grieve.
Lionel had been the start of a new sort of life for Peter and now that he's gone, Peter feels that calm ebbing away from him. When he finds himself staring at the ferris wheel and sinking down onto a bench near the Compound and pinching the bridge of his nose as tears start to fall freely and he chokes back the sound of a quiet sob from his throat.
Lionel is gone and with him the promise of a future together. Perhaps now, in retrospect, he understands just how much he had wanted that. Perhaps now, just now, he is finally coming to terms with the fact that he will never again wake up to Lionel's beautiful face or see his pictures in the evening or feel the warmth of his breath upon his skin.
Such moments in life are what dirges and D-minors are for.