(no subject)
Don't get too attached to anyone while you're here.
It was only days since House had said that to Pam, the blind chick, while drowning his sorrows over the idiotic piece of masochism that was his helping mend Jack and Logan's relationship. Then he'd gone home, probably been an ass to Cameron, he didn't really remember since he'd been drunk but he knew he'd spent the couple of days after that in a foul mood and refusing to tell her why. And yet she'd still accepted his half-assed not-quite-apology when his leg was hurting and he was hoping for sex.
So maybe he should have expected something like this, really. Because in his experience - nearly four years of it now - the most opportune time for the island to kick you in the nuts was when you were already down. Because now Cameron was gone, and House realized two very shitty things: (1) she'd meant a hell of a lot more to him than he'd realized, and (2) she'd meant a whole hell of a lot more to him than he'd ever told her.
The truth was, when it came right down to it, Cameron had been the bright spot in what was otherwise probably the worst year of his life. And it wasn't just sex... and she would never know that, because he was an asshole. No, he hadn't been in love with her, and no, he probably never would have been. But she'd been there for him when no one else had, and she'd forgiven him when he thought he'd fucked up beyond belief.
He really may as well just move into a cave and start his career as a hermit at this point. They'd tell stories about him in thirty years. He'd be like Obi-Wan Kenobi except kids would dare each other to find him on Halloween and then he'd come out all grizzled and scary and shake his cane at them and they'd run away.
But not today. Today he was in the clinic, doing the one thing he could think of that he needed to do besides wallow in self pity: He crossed Cameron's name off of the clinic rotation schedule.
Then he dropped his head and muttered, "Goddamnit."
It was only days since House had said that to Pam, the blind chick, while drowning his sorrows over the idiotic piece of masochism that was his helping mend Jack and Logan's relationship. Then he'd gone home, probably been an ass to Cameron, he didn't really remember since he'd been drunk but he knew he'd spent the couple of days after that in a foul mood and refusing to tell her why. And yet she'd still accepted his half-assed not-quite-apology when his leg was hurting and he was hoping for sex.
So maybe he should have expected something like this, really. Because in his experience - nearly four years of it now - the most opportune time for the island to kick you in the nuts was when you were already down. Because now Cameron was gone, and House realized two very shitty things: (1) she'd meant a hell of a lot more to him than he'd realized, and (2) she'd meant a whole hell of a lot more to him than he'd ever told her.
The truth was, when it came right down to it, Cameron had been the bright spot in what was otherwise probably the worst year of his life. And it wasn't just sex... and she would never know that, because he was an asshole. No, he hadn't been in love with her, and no, he probably never would have been. But she'd been there for him when no one else had, and she'd forgiven him when he thought he'd fucked up beyond belief.
He really may as well just move into a cave and start his career as a hermit at this point. They'd tell stories about him in thirty years. He'd be like Obi-Wan Kenobi except kids would dare each other to find him on Halloween and then he'd come out all grizzled and scary and shake his cane at them and they'd run away.
But not today. Today he was in the clinic, doing the one thing he could think of that he needed to do besides wallow in self pity: He crossed Cameron's name off of the clinic rotation schedule.
Then he dropped his head and muttered, "Goddamnit."