(no subject)
It was clear today why there there was no apparent weather forcaster on the island--or if they were, their forcasts were so buried he'd never come across them in the year he'd spent on the island. There was no expertise required in announcing that tomorrow and the next day would be hot and sunny and clear. In fact, there was no expertise required to say that most of the rest of the year would be hot and full of sun. With the exception of December, and fits of rain or snow that appeared far too sudden for anyone to predict, there was no way to observe seasons. There were no seasons. Somehow he doubted even conventional tropics ignored the passing of seasons quite that much.
It was hardly a new revelation, but it was something that he had hardly stopped to consider, save for those brief tempestuous breaks in sunlight. It was one of many things which he had come to accept without quite realizing it--he wasn't even certain when it happened.The weather never changed, life on the island persisted against reason. People vanished. Home continued on without them, and the rest of his life would be spent with empty, pointless exercises and eternally looping ten miles.
He wished he knew when those last ones asserted themselves. Somewhere along the line they'd become the facts, and the words of encouragement had become the act. He'd realized some time in the last week now that he hadn't simply come to accept Island life, he'd come to expect it.
It hadn't surprised him to hear that Sheppard's hut was empty. Of course he would vanish eventually. Every morning he found himself no longer frightened, but resigned to the fact that his patrol of loved ones might just find someone new missing. Doctor Jackson, Vala and her child, his partner, Reese. He couldn't shake anticipation that on one of his patrols, Morgan would be missing from the Waterfalls, and it wouldn't simply be that he had missed that portion of her daily routine. On Clinic days, he often simply chose to go by the Clinic to ensure Doctor Lam still remained, rather than stop by her hut and find her things missing. Somewhere along the line, it had become only a matter of time before he would.
Somewhere along the line it had changed from preventing the worst to preparing for it. This wasn't his way. This was the antithesis of his way.
How the hell had he ended up like this? How could he have become everything he had fought so long not to become? Had it really been so bad over the last year, that the concept of a child was too painful to contemplate, because he couldn't help believing that it and its mother could simply vanish standing right next to him just as soon as he could bear it the least?
Cameron frowned softly, settling down on the Compound steps, as Austen bounded away to explore the lawn. He could no longer pinpoint when it had changed. He wasn't even certain any longer if it could be changed back any longer.
[OOC: Finally, RL allows an EP \o/ He's contemplative, but not overtly upset. It's a decent enough time to meet him if you'd rather see a more quiet side to Cam, and always a good time for friends and loved ones to meet him. Austen is also around to investigate and harass passerbys.]
It was hardly a new revelation, but it was something that he had hardly stopped to consider, save for those brief tempestuous breaks in sunlight. It was one of many things which he had come to accept without quite realizing it--he wasn't even certain when it happened.The weather never changed, life on the island persisted against reason. People vanished. Home continued on without them, and the rest of his life would be spent with empty, pointless exercises and eternally looping ten miles.
He wished he knew when those last ones asserted themselves. Somewhere along the line they'd become the facts, and the words of encouragement had become the act. He'd realized some time in the last week now that he hadn't simply come to accept Island life, he'd come to expect it.
It hadn't surprised him to hear that Sheppard's hut was empty. Of course he would vanish eventually. Every morning he found himself no longer frightened, but resigned to the fact that his patrol of loved ones might just find someone new missing. Doctor Jackson, Vala and her child, his partner, Reese. He couldn't shake anticipation that on one of his patrols, Morgan would be missing from the Waterfalls, and it wouldn't simply be that he had missed that portion of her daily routine. On Clinic days, he often simply chose to go by the Clinic to ensure Doctor Lam still remained, rather than stop by her hut and find her things missing. Somewhere along the line, it had become only a matter of time before he would.
Somewhere along the line it had changed from preventing the worst to preparing for it. This wasn't his way. This was the antithesis of his way.
How the hell had he ended up like this? How could he have become everything he had fought so long not to become? Had it really been so bad over the last year, that the concept of a child was too painful to contemplate, because he couldn't help believing that it and its mother could simply vanish standing right next to him just as soon as he could bear it the least?
Cameron frowned softly, settling down on the Compound steps, as Austen bounded away to explore the lawn. He could no longer pinpoint when it had changed. He wasn't even certain any longer if it could be changed back any longer.
[OOC: Finally, RL allows an EP \o/ He's contemplative, but not overtly upset. It's a decent enough time to meet him if you'd rather see a more quiet side to Cam, and always a good time for friends and loved ones to meet him. Austen is also around to investigate and harass passerbys.]