(Untitled)

[goingtodorking]

Most of the time, Karen's quite happy playing in her own little world. She stays within earshot of whatever Rollie and Shadow are doing and she plays with her toys or her books. She makes up little worlds. She still really likes playing Spy Dudes, or Devil Princesses, but she also plays Surgery and Bombers and Hide and Read. Right now, she's

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[playingtheenemy]

Ainsley had seen Karen in as many permutations as she could count, but quiet and thoughtful had hardly come up at all and when Ainsley watched her for a moment and it didn't change, her concern really started to twitch. "Karen?" she chanced quietly, crouching down before her slowly. "Are you okay?"

[goingtodorking]

"Mmmm."

Karen looks at the picture some more, tracing one finger over her mom's face in the picture. She's got sand under her fingernails. She wrinkles her nose and looks back at the book again.

"Sometimes things just show up, don't they?"

[playingtheenemy]

Ainsley came even closer until she could see exactly what Karen was looking at and interpreted it with a wince and a wish that it could be anything else, just for Karen's sake. "Yeah, they do," Ainsley agreed, softening her tone in the hopes she would sound a bit more maternal. "Sometimes you get good things or bad things from home."

[goingtodorking]

"I don't think this is a bad thing," says Karen, carefully, still lying on her back, looking up at the picture. "And the dinosaur book's not a bad thing either. At least I don't have to share it with Ben anymore."

She gives a little sigh, heart heavy, frown line creased between straight dark eyebrows.

[playingtheenemy]

Ainsley shifted and sat down beside Karen, reaching over to stroke her hair and idly tuck it behind her ear. "You okay, honey?" Ainsley asked carefully, her voice tinged with all the maternal concern she didn't think she had anymore. "Are you happy to see it?"

[goingtodorking]

"I...think so."

Karen thinks about it for another moment and then nods.

"Yes, I'm glad."

[playingtheenemy]

Ainsley kept her hand on Karen's back and settled down beside her, legs splayed behind her as she got relaxed. "Can you show it to me? I'd love to see what you got," she said with a hopeful grin, only slightly nervous as to what was going to be inside.

[goingtodorking]

Karen leaned her head against Ainsley's shoulder and holds the picture out to her.

"This is my family, Ainsley."

[playingtheenemy]

Ainsley stroked her palm over Karen's hair consistently now, trying to offer some kind of comfort that she knew was probably needed on some base level. "They look just like you, sweetie," she praised lightly. "Your mom and dad are very beautiful and handsome."

[goingtodorking]

Karen sighs and leans her head against Ainsley.

"This is Ben and this is Jake," she explains. "And Grandad. He's probably dead now. He said he was going to phone me from heaven."

[playingtheenemy]

"Well, if you haven't gotten a phone call, then he's probably still alive," Ainsley said with the rationality that could come out of having a serious conversation with a child. Some things were flexible. "I didn't have any brothers back home. It was always just me," she admitted, curling Karen back against her as best as she could.

[goingtodorking]

"There aren't any phones here, Ainsley," points out Karen, with a little sigh. "So how would he call me?"

She leans her chin into her hand and looks down at the picture.

"Brothers are stupid."

Which doesn't mean that she doesn't miss them.

[playingtheenemy]

Ainsley let out a quiet laugh at that, sudden and surprised. She hugged Karen tighter after that exclamation. "Yeah, but stupid as they might be, I bet they love you more than anything else in the world. You should write letters to them and send them out to sea. Maybe they'll find them?"

[goingtodorking]

Karen thinks about that for a moment, cuddled in against Ainsley and then he nods.

"Yes. Can we do that?"

[playingtheenemy]

"All we need is some paper," Ainsley agreed, trying to keep her tone warm as she stroked her palm over Karen's hair while feeling as if this was right in a way. She felt maternal, she felt natural, and best of all, she felt warm. She could do this. "We can send as many as you want," she promised.

[goingtodorking]

Karen nods.

"Okay. We can write one for Jake, one for Ben, one for Mummy and Daddy and one for Granddad. Oh! And one for Maisy, too, okay?"