When the truth comes bare;

[callmecassandra]

Well, then. That's that, isn't it, Barbara.

Fingers skimmed over the bright, glossy covers. Piles of them - Comic books, the flimsy, browning paper with clear, tiny dots of color, all the way to the glossy, smooth pages that she'd come to expect when thinking magazineShe was on the floor of the rec-room, surrounded by piles. So many piles, and as

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[pretty_canary]

Dinah stops short in the doorway of the rec room, her heart skipping a beat. She'd only been stopping by to see if she could pick up some kind of trashy novel from the bookshelf. She'd been having a little trouble sleeping lately and there was nothing like a good bodice-ripper to help with insomnia. But seeing Barbara there, sitting on the floor, surrounded by...comic books? It made Dinah hesitate, wondering if she could somehow slip away without the other woman having noticed her there.

But just as quickly as the thought hits her, she feels a flare of shame that she could ever be that much of a coward. She knows they've got things to work out. Issues with a seriously bolded capital I. But Dinah also knows that the longer she puts it off, the more she tries to run from it, the harder it's going to be to ever resolve anything. And as much as she's intimidated or freaked out or whatever crazy jumble of emotions it is she feels when she looks at Barbara, she knows it's worth it. It will be worth it.

So she takes a deep breath and walks through the door.

[callmecassandra]

Babs looks up, and her heart jumping into her throat. You should have known, her brain said, without missing a beat.

"Dinah," she said, the name biting into the depth of her. "... You should probably have a seat."

[pretty_canary]

Dinah reacts to Barbara's tone instinctively, but doesn't want to even consider why that is. Not now. Not when there's so much else they need to deal with. Instead she just follows the direction, coming to sit cross-legged on the floor across from the other woman.

"What is all this?"

[callmecassandra]

"Me," she said, her eyes running over the stacks. She swallowed, then. "... And you." Her eyes flicked up to Dinah's. "My you."

[pretty_canary]

"I don't --"

But that was a lie, wasn't it? She does know exactly what Barbara is talking about and the very idea of it has made her mouth go dry.

Voice quiet and a lot more hesitant than she would have like, she says, "Show me?"

[callmecassandra]

Babs sucked in a breath, looking at Dinah levelly. "... Which? You, or me?"

You'd think she wasn't scared. You'd think this wasn't difficult, to look at her.

She felt like she was staring down a nuke.

[pretty_canary]

Dinah opened her mouth to speak but ended up just shaking her head and looking away for a second. Turning back she looked right into the other woman's eyes. Willing her to understand what she was really asking.

"Why is this so hard, Barbara?"

[callmecassandra]

"Dinah Lance," she said, explaining in the only way she knew how. "Dinah Laurel Lance was my first agent. Her mother knew my father, but we'd only met peripherally. I was shot - Barbara Gordon was shot - and Oracle was born. Stuck in a chair, I didn't want to give up. Wanted to keep fighting. So, I had agents." Her face softened. "I had you. You'd never seen me - far from, we only communicated through computer and earpiece. A few missions, and Huntress - Helena Bertinelli - joined. I called you - my team - the Birds of Prey."

She licked her lips. "Some deals went wrong. Problems came up, and I was being hunted. They found me, and I ended up swimming to safety. You pulled me out of the water, and then passed yourself off as the unknown Oracle. After that..." She shook her head slightly. "You're my best friend. You were my best friend before you knew what I looked like, or that my legs didn't work."

[pretty_canary]

Dinah was silent for a few long moments, just trying to work it all out. To fit it somehow into the timeline of her own existence, into what she knew of herself and who she thought she was. She didn't doubt for a second that she could love this woman, that she'd risk her life to protect her given the context of what Barbara was telling her. But the rest...

"Why was I working for you, Barbara? Why did I leave the League? Or...was that all different too? Did I never join?" She had too many questions and she barely knew where to begin.

[callmecassandra]

"You moonlighted for me. Birds of Prey isn't a full-time gig." She rubbed the back of her neck. "Does this make any sense?"

[pretty_canary]

She shrugs, biting her lip. "I mean, I suppose. As much as it can when someone is telling you about a life you've never lived."

Dinah leans back against the edge of one of the couches, feeling completely out of her depth. Replaying what Barbara's telling her in her head, turning it over and over until she realizes something. And she thinks it might be the key to a lot of the tension between them. It seems so obvious now, she can't imagine how she missed it before.

"We became best friends before I'd ever met you face to face," she says quietly. "That's why..."

[callmecassandra]

"That's why," she said, nodding. "And why I was so angry at Dick when he told you."

[pretty_canary]

Dinah feels an instant flare of hurt and something that tastes a lot like anger. But she pushes it down, knowing it won't do either of them any good if she reacts so emotionally to what's going on.

Taking a deep breath she tries to come up with a way to say what she wants to say without it resulting in Barbara shutting down again. This is as honest as they've been with each other since Dinah arrived and she's almost desperate not to ruin this chance. "I get it. I really do. But I also can't believe that you think it ever would have mattered to me. To her. That it would matter to me now."

[callmecassandra]

She can see how angry she is, and it - god help her, her mouth quirks into a smile. "It's not that I think it matters to you, Dinah. It's that it matters to me."

[pretty_canary]

"Why, Barbara? Why does it matter?" Dinah could feel she was still missing something enormous and she hated that feeling. Hated not understanding all of the dynamics and hating the fact that she cared so much. But she did and there was no point in her pretending otherwise.

Trying not to let her emotions show, and knowing that she was failing miserably, she leveled her gaze back on the other woman. "You said I came to work for you having never met you. But you're also saying...or, no. You didn't, did you. You implied that I was still with the League. Why would I do that. Why would I come work for someone I'd never seen. What aren't you telling me?"

[callmecassandra]

"Because to me, it's... a part of me, and it's something that's deeply personal. I would have rather told you myself." She licked her lips. "I offered you the chance to make a difference. To do good. And you took me up on it."