Dear diary, today I was promiscuous and my sister was masochistic.

[misanthrope_md]

The last week was all kind of a haze for House. Not the good kind of haze, but hazy all the same. Which was, in itself, probably a good thing. It wasn't exactly something he wanted to remember clearly. Just a lot of pain, and feeling like shit, and throwing up, and staring at the ceiling, and grumbling at anyone who came near, which for the

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[dr_girlscout]

Cameron had waited and picked a time that she was least likely to run into any of the beautiful, wafty people that lived at Phedre's-- though House would hardly fit the bill there. Then agian, he was the one she was looking for. Her arms were tired from her new way of dispersing anger, but in them, she carried several battered copies of Lesbian Prison Stories.

She stopped there at the steps.

[misanthrope_md]

After four years of this, House really shouldn't be that surprised that when he ventures outside for the first time in a week he's immediately confronted by Cameron.

He eyed the book spines and said, as he tried to look like he wasn't half-dead, "Don't need those, I've got the real thing." He held up the diary.

[dr_girlscout]

"Right," Cameron said, shoulders slumping just the tiniest bit. "I-- I don't suppose you do." She set them down next to him anyway.

[misanthrope_md]

House was a little perplexed by her reaction. He was expecting slapping or something. "I didn't mean real lesbians," he pointed out. "I haven't been spending the week partying, you know."

[dr_girlscout]

"I know," Cameron said, looking down at her feet. "Besides, someone in the lab did studies, and real lesbians are surprisingly rare out here." She shifted her weight, back and forth, and finally sat down beside him.

"I came to see how you were doing."

[misanthrope_md]

"Suffering appropriately," House assured her. "Or I was, rather. Now I'm getting back down to a moderate level of suffering."

[dr_girlscout]

"If it gets too low, I'll just kick you in the leg," Cameron said. She eased her knees closer to her, hugging them against her chest. "I--."

Dammit. "I came because I wanted to see if you needed help. With anything."

[misanthrope_md]

House dropped his eyes, unable to meet hers. "Sorry, you already missed all of the fun of holding my head over the toilet," he muttered.

[dr_girlscout]

"I was so mad," Cameron said quietly, "that I actually forgot you would have to detox. But then I got Phedre's note, and I started to worry. Not that she can't take care of you just fine," and that was with a note of jealousy that she didn't care to admit to, "but."

She shrugged. "I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to hate you. But I don't."

[misanthrope_md]

Seconds ticked past before House said anything, and finally... "For the record, I'm sorry," he said. "I'm sorry I deceived you. But I can't say I'm sorry for what I did."

[dr_girlscout]

"Everybody lies?" she said with a wry smile. "I wouldn't have been happy about it, and I can't say I wouldn't have wanted you to try something else, but God, I know why."

Her chest closed up a bit, and she had to swallow before she could ask. "Was the sex part of it? Was it just because you were using?"

[misanthrope_md]

House couldn't help but think that Cameron was a hell of a lot more understanding than Mark. Or Chase. He actually appreciated that, even if he didn't say it.

At the part about the sex he tensed up a little, but finally told the truth. "No," he said. "The using wasn't part of the reason for the sex, but, uh... the sex was part of the reason for the using."

[dr_girlscout]

Her rigid frame relaxed a bit. "I guess saying I would have been gentler isn't the right answer?" Cameron pressed her lips together in a thin line while she thought it over.

"I'm not anything special," she said after a moment. "Not like Jack or Phedre or the Doctor, or hell, even Chase. But you can come home. If you want."

[misanthrope_md]

House sighed. "You know this isn't... Phedre, I mean. That's not why I'm here. And Jack's an asshole, the Doctor's a pompous twat, and Chase is an idiot." That wasn't exactly 'of course you're special, Allison,' but for House it wasn't bad.

[dr_girlscout]

The corner of her mouth pulled up in half a smile. "Of course they are." But he'd ignored what she really meant to say. While she did realize she had a stray issue or two about House's past lovers, there was an element of speech she'd long ago figured was just learned, that apology for having an opinion. When had that come back?

"I mean it, though. You can come back," she said, more firmly. "If you want that. I would like it."

[misanthrope_md]

House shook his head. "You're too forgiving, Allison."

But he hesitated, and then conceded, "If you still want me to, after I've finished going through withdrawal... maybe. But not now. I don't want you taking care of me."