What Leon was doing at that moment could only properly be called lurking. He hadn't spoke to Cecilia since the birth of the twins, that dismissal as sharp as any others, and no matter that he had barely caught a glimpse of his nephews. And this time he had tried to stay away, truly he had. Something in the colds looks of the birthing room. Cecilia was well and happy - more so when he was not there. It would not be the first time Leon had determined once-and-for-all to keep his distance, but he was determined this time
( ... )
Robbie had been putting off telling Briony and Leon of their sister's disappearance simply to avoid the finality of it. There was that, and there was the fact that Robbie did not want to leave his sons in the care of anyone else for fear that they would disappear, even though both Ronon and Dr Keller had offered to help him in any way he needed. It was not that he did not trust them. It was simply that he did not want to let the boys out of sight or earshot for the time it would take to search out the Tallis siblings and give them the news. The intensely negative emotions he still felt for his brother- and sister-in-law had nothing to do with it.
And now Leon was standing in his yard and Robbie had no choice but to accept the finality of it and tell Leon what had happened. It took a long few minutes for him to force himself to speak to Leon, and when he did, he could not make himself soften the blow for fear he would not speak it at all. "Cecilia has disappeared," he said quietly.
Leon could only look up in bafflement as he was addressed. He had not even expected Robbie to speak to him, let alone to deliver news of such painful finality. For a single mad moment he was certain Robbie must be speaking to someone else, and of another Cecilia. That sounded more possible than the truth.
"What-" Leon could only blink stupidly. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"She's disappeared, Leon," Robbie repeated patiently. He did not have the energy to be annoyed by Leon's presence, not today. "The way that people disappear from this island all the time. She's gone." He let out a long, tense breath, and stubbed out his cigarette.
Gone. Cecilia gone. Cecilia disappeared. The words echoed in Leon's head over and over, like some kind of litany, something learned in school by rote that you never knew the meaning to and never had to ask.
"Oh- no. No. You're joking." His laugh was forced and shaky. "This is a joke. This is a- I don't care what it is, it's not true."
"I wouldn't joke about this," Robbie said shortly, and a sharp pang of grief hit him all at once in a way he wasn't prepared for. He was finally admitting that Cecilia was gone, and it hurt far more than he'd thought it would, far more than he was equipped to deal with, especially in front of Leon.
Robbie got to his feet and walked a few steps away, though not far enough to be out of earshot of the house. His back was to Leon. Deep, painful breaths were all he could manage for a moment, the kind of terror he hadn't felt since the war nearly suffocating him.
When he could speak again, he said, "The boys... they're still here."
"But no- I mean, she can't have. Isn't it possible that she's just-" But just what? Turner looked so certain and Leon knew that this could be no impulsive fear, not when Tuner loved Cee - something he only far too recently understood in all its depth. But he could not easily accept his sister's disappearance.
The mention of his nephews felt like a splash of cold water to his face. The twins were here, but they were alone without their mother, that was what Robbie's voice seemed to say. They would never see her again, and neither would he. Leon realized he had dropped his cigarette, and now he sought the ember in the sand, just to have something to fix his gaze upon.
"A few days." Robbie did not explain why he had not given Leon the news sooner. A small part of it was that Robbie did not even know where to find Leon if he intended to seek it out, but the better part was that every single waking moment of his time since then had been spent in the never ending task of caring for the boys.
And Leon didn't ask. He was too busy thinking about Cee, about this hole in his life that appeared without warning or any sense of fairness to think about the timing or the method by which he had heard the news. Cecilia gone. He said it in his head again, testing the gaping wound, biting his lip hard at how sharply it stung.
Hesitantly he looked at Robbie, Robbie's whose pain must be at least as bad as his. "Haven't got another cigarette by chance, do you?"
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And now Leon was standing in his yard and Robbie had no choice but to accept the finality of it and tell Leon what had happened. It took a long few minutes for him to force himself to speak to Leon, and when he did, he could not make himself soften the blow for fear he would not speak it at all. "Cecilia has disappeared," he said quietly.
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"What-" Leon could only blink stupidly. "What the hell are you talking about?"
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"Oh- no. No. You're joking." His laugh was forced and shaky. "This is a joke. This is a- I don't care what it is, it's not true."
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Robbie got to his feet and walked a few steps away, though not far enough to be out of earshot of the house. His back was to Leon. Deep, painful breaths were all he could manage for a moment, the kind of terror he hadn't felt since the war nearly suffocating him.
When he could speak again, he said, "The boys... they're still here."
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The mention of his nephews felt like a splash of cold water to his face. The twins were here, but they were alone without their mother, that was what Robbie's voice seemed to say. They would never see her again, and neither would he. Leon realized he had dropped his cigarette, and now he sought the ember in the sand, just to have something to fix his gaze upon.
"How long?" he asked, voice sounding hollow.
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Hesitantly he looked at Robbie, Robbie's whose pain must be at least as bad as his. "Haven't got another cigarette by chance, do you?"
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