Kiss me at midnight, dance until the morning light.

[awesome_captain]

If there was one thing Devon knew about a good New Year's Eve party, it was when to keep an eye on the clock and to get everyone's attention. He'd stuck close to Ellie five minutes to, and when the last minute began to tick away and nobody had done anything about it, he decided to take on the mantle

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[robin_sparkles]

Robin had been drinking every since the Jukebox From Hell had made her do about five renditions of Let's Go To The Mall and now it was nearing midnight apparently and she had her glass of Scotch and was pretty keen on it if no one else was going to be around (she really, really ought to find Winters, but her brain was kicking in slowly and this fact was just hovering in her consciousness). "You and me, baby," she sighed quietly.

[not_a_quaker]

There's about thirty seconds left until midnight, and as I scan the room I see the person I'm looking for, not too far away. Straightening my collar unnecessarily, I go over and step up behind her, a little like she'd done to me at the beginning of the night, but instead of putting my arms around her I just lean in to speak closer to her ear.

"It's almost midnight," I say softly, and walk around to face her with a crooked smile.

[robin_sparkles]

Robin knew that there were very few things that could cheer her up, but the man coming to find her for that midnight kiss ranked pretty high up there and she couldn't help but soften and grin warmly. "God, I am so grateful to see you," she said, completely honestly. "I've had kind of a rough New Years' Eve and right now, a midnight kiss would very much make it better."

[not_a_quaker]

My smile fades into a frown at that, and I put a hand to her shoulder. "Is everything all right?" I ask, even as everyone around us is counting down from ten.

[robin_sparkles]

Robin shook her head, a sad and distant smile on her face because why bother lying when you'd just had a whole bunch of truth dumped right into your lap? "Not really," she said dully, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him in close to press a long, sweet, needy kiss to his lips, the sort she really wished didn't have to end.

[not_a_quaker]

I don't have time to respond to that before she kisses me, a kiss I return after half a heartbeat's pause, my arms wrapping around her waist. It's tender, but with a note of desperation or something I can't quite fathom in it, and when we break apart I pull back just enough to look into her eyes, nothing but gentle concern in mine. "Is there something I can do?"

[robin_sparkles]

Robin didn't really want to be having this talk now, of all times, but he was asking and she didn't want to lie to him. She grasped his hand lightly, nodding to the side. "I just need to ask you something," she said, above the din of celebration and kissing couples.

[not_a_quaker]

I close my hand around hers as she takes it. "Come on." I lead us through the crowd, dodging around kissing couples until we're somewhere a little more quiet and secluded. "What is it?" I say, keeping her hand in mine.

[robin_sparkles]

Robin took a deep breath to try and keep herself composed, but after alcohol and emotions and Barney, it was all getting really overwhelming and she didn't exactly know what to do. "Listen, I need to ask you something and you have to promise me to be completely, completely honest. No fibbing because it'll make me feel better."

She didn't even hesitate before leaping into the question. "At some point in your life, do you want to get married? Have kids?"

[not_a_quaker]

I frown slightly, not sure what she's getting at with that question, but it seems important to her. "I wouldn't lie to you, first off," I say, but gently. "And yes, I do. At some point, I want a wife and kids." It doesn't seem as immediate a possibility here, though, so I don't know if it's as much of a priority as it probably would have been back home in Lancaster.

[robin_sparkles]

Robin felt that same chill running through her, that quiet panic that had always been there with Ted accompanied by the swift heartbreak of knowing that no matter how much she felt, it was never going to be enough. "You need to dump me," she said, voice low and hoarse. "Because I can't be that girl for you. I just...can't," she got out with some trouble. "And I'd love to be, I'd love to even have that possibility, but I'm not. And you need to just...to just..."

Robin was losing it fast. The alcohol and Barney's confession and this feeling again, this horrible 'want to die' feeling was going to eat her up alive. "You need," she insisted, voice shaky but for only a moment, "to have people who share your goals and your future."

[not_a_quaker]

I'm not sure what to say to that, at first. It seems clear to me that she's hurting, and I don't know what to do to help. I want to tell her that she doesn't need to be that girl, that I don't want her to be anything she's not, and I truly don't, but there's the long run to think about and the possibility of a future with someone and I understand what she's saying.

"I don't need to do anything," I say softly, despite my reasoning. I hate seeing her like this. "I don't want to do anything that's going to cause you pain."

[robin_sparkles]

"Barney is in love with me." She felt like she had to say that, because if she didn't, then she was going to feel like a liar and she wanted to be so good and so honest around him because he deserved it more than anyone she knew. "He told me hours ago, I've been drinking, I didn't have any idea, I didn't know," she rambled, words loose and falling off her lips (or so it felt like).

[not_a_quaker]

And suddenly his behavior during our date made more sense. I'm not the most insightful of people when it comes to romance, and I hadn't understood it at the time, but I do now. My heart sinks just a little when she says it, more out of disappointment than anything, but Robin's a great woman and I'll continue to think that whatever happens from this point.

"How do you feel about him?" I ask, needing to know so I know whether or not to bow out.

[robin_sparkles]

"I know that your infrequent interactions aren't enough to go by, but...I'm sorry," she scoffed, on the precipice of really losing it and just going crazy with a bottle of Scotch and maybe holing herself up for a month. "He's a womanizer, he's a bit disgusting, he once sold a woman, he's terrified of commitment, he thinks a game show host is his father, he bachelorized his apartment so women would want to bolt from it and this, this is the kind of man who loves me."

She exhaled, a deep and nervous motion. "I love him. He's a friend, sure, but I kind of still feel like the minute he gets what he wants, he's going to realize he never wanted it all along. That I'm safe because we're best friends."

[not_a_quaker]

I'm used to being able to fix things. I'm comfortable leading the charge and heading right in to solve a problem, saying 'follow me!' and being that strong leader. But this isn't something that's going to be solved that way, and it puts me at somewhat of a loss. I want to fix things for Robin, give her a solution, but I can't. "Do you know what you want to do?" I ask, slightly hesitantly, but I can't not ask.