James' fingers curled around the top of Remus' book. Not that he had to actually do that to catch Remus' attention, but actually opening his mouth before he'd had a chance to think about what he was going to say, felt like a poor idea. Instead, he pressed the book down slightly, without bothering to look at the title. Not yet.
"So," he finally said, his eyes almost unreadable behind his specs. "Whose idea was it to keep the fact that you and Sirius were shagging away from me anyway?" So much for thinking about what he wanted to say. At least it wasn't what he really had in mind.
Remus looked up at James even as his friend's hand closed over the book. He hoped fleetingly to get out of the confrontation without a black eye this time, and met James' eyes steadily.
"Does it matter whose idea it was, Prongs?" he asked evenly. It had been Sirius', but Remus hadn't exactly protested. "We kept something from you and we oughtn't have done."
It mattered, though James already knew the answer. His index finger tapped the open page of the book, his eyes still fixed on Remus'. "What did you think you were doing?" he asked. "Was it a joke? Pull the wool over James' eyes?" Because they had, hadn't they? Knowing they had, and that Remus had been the other half of it, was not on.
"No, it wasn't a joke, we weren't having a go at you, or anything like that," Remus replied. "It was simply bad judgement on our part." They'd both known how James hated to have information kept from him, and they'd done it anyway. Funny how they'd continued to make that same mistake with James' son.
"You're right, it was," James snapped, pulling his hand away abruptly. "Got anything else you want to tell me? Now's your chance, Moony." At this point, he just wanted to stop looking at Remus with distrust. Oh, he knew very well how my of a hypocrite it made him, but he reckoned Remus sort of deserved it.
"I'm a werewolf," he deadpanned, even though that wasn't entirely true anymore. It was a stupid joke to attempt to cushion what he was about to say next. "And Sirius and I die, during the second war with Voldemort. Sirius in 1996, and I in 1998. I was a year away from my own death and a year after Padfoot's when I came here." He paused, a beat. "You're not the only one who left his son to grow up without parents."
All these deaths - all these unnecessary, utterly stupid deaths, were something James didn't care to hear about anymore. Half the people on the island had been dead, it seemed. His eyes narrowed slightly, but he didn't move.
"You look like you're doing pretty good to me," he said at length. "So does your son." Back home wasn't here, right? There being more than one of someone made no sense to James. Remus was alive and well here, and that was all James saw.
"Yes," Remus replied. "But it could have been very different, for all of us. If we hadn't somehow been brought here instead." It was like a second chance, the opportunity he'd never have got at home to have his two best mates alive. It somehow didn't matter all that much that they were so much younger; they were still them.
Things could have been a lot different. James only refrained from pointing out that at least Remus had his wife and child here by not wanting to have to think about that anymore than he had to. He pulled his glasses from his face and polished them on his shirt, more a distraction than cleaning. "Does Tonks know?" he asked, the change back to the subject abrupt but probably expected.
Remus gave a short nod. "She does." He knew the difference in his and James' situation, all too well, and had he been able to do anything to change it he would have, without hesitation.
Well. Wasn't that perfect? James slid his glasses back onto his face. He wasn't ready to forgive Remus, because it was just something he wouldn't have expected from his friend. The last thing he wanted to be was angry with his friends, but it felt like they were all strangers and that hurt. "Enjoy your book," he said shortly, and then turned towards the door.
"James." Remus' voice wasn't loud, but it carried weight. He reached out the hand not holding the book to James' shoulder - not grabbing it, just laying it there. "I'm sorry. I truly am."
It wasn't alright, but it did strike James how, even though Remus was a great deal older, he was still Remus. Though he wasn't ready yet to stop being upset over the whole thing, he still covered the hand on his shoulder with his own. Sirius and Remus were all he had from home. "How's Harry, then?" he sighed out. He wanted to hear that, to just forget that his mind kept reeling with what Remus and Sirius did together for years behind his back.
Remus was silently relieved at the change of subject, at James' hand covering his own. He and Sirius had been two of the most important people in his life for so long, and now that they were back on the island he didn't want to do anything to lose that.
"He's amazing," he answered, unable to help the smile and the note of pride that crept into his voice. "He looks just like you - or he would, except he has Lily's eyes. He's the best Defence student I've seen in a long time, Prongs. He was able to produce a fully-formed Patronus in his third year."
James turned around, his annoyance now changed into a smile. Not at Remus, but at what Remus was saying. "Takes after his old man that much, does he?" Patronus wasn't an easy feat to manage by any means. Of course he'd have a brilliant son. Lily's eyes. He tried to not to think about that too much.
"So," he finally said, his eyes almost unreadable behind his specs. "Whose idea was it to keep the fact that you and Sirius were shagging away from me anyway?" So much for thinking about what he wanted to say. At least it wasn't what he really had in mind.
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"Does it matter whose idea it was, Prongs?" he asked evenly. It had been Sirius', but Remus hadn't exactly protested. "We kept something from you and we oughtn't have done."
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"You look like you're doing pretty good to me," he said at length. "So does your son." Back home wasn't here, right? There being more than one of someone made no sense to James. Remus was alive and well here, and that was all James saw.
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"He's amazing," he answered, unable to help the smile and the note of pride that crept into his voice. "He looks just like you - or he would, except he has Lily's eyes. He's the best Defence student I've seen in a long time, Prongs. He was able to produce a fully-formed Patronus in his third year."
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