(Untitled)

[hey_high_five]

What up, my loyal Barnabitos. I know you have been lost in the wilderness of lame without my regular guidance, but it's been long days of nothing on our real-life Gilligan's island. Ginger's not even here in the slinky red sequined dress that led to the sexual awakening of thousands of pubescent boys and lipstick lesbians

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[robin_sparkles]

"Well, for one, I doubt they involve Hustler," Robin theorized curiously from the doorway, sipping at her cup of tea as she wandered in and set down a new copy of a soft-core porn novel featuring Mindy and her very good friend Janet and a sexual awakening that they just couldn't deny. She settled into her chair and shifted until one leg was tucked under the other.

She peeked over the magazine. "Ooh, advice," she teased, leaning over and flipping the page before he was even done reading it aloud.

[hey_high_five]

"Nonsense. Hustler is a quality publication- it's Good Housekeeping for guys," he told her but gave her a smile and gestured her in with a nod of his head.

Yeah, those sickeningly pleasant needs to be around her, hear about her life and pet her hair? Weren't just a side-kick on the medication and seem to be here to stay. It would be miserable if she wasn't so damn awesome.

"Hey," he protested half heartedly but held the magazein up so she could see it anyway.

[robin_sparkles]

"Shh, you'll disturb the porn," she warned with a grin, craning her head to one side to properly read the article and held it up for him because he was the one with casts. She just kept her eyes on the page. "I can't stay too long right now, I'm going out tonight, but I'll come back tomorrow for longer," she provided, getting the business part out of the way before they got back to the porn.

[hey_high_five]

"Going out? What're you going out to do? Or...who are you going out to do, eh?" Barney prompted her as he raised an expectant eyebrow.

It wasn't like he didn't want her to go out- otherwise she wouldn't have any stories about life beyond the very-boring hospital walls. More, it was just that she wanted her to go out and then have a terrible time. Because that would mean that Barney had won.

[robin_sparkles]

"I'm going on a date," she said distractedly as she was reading some of the 'marital advice' that the Hustle oeuvre had to offer. "With John, remember? Dutchman?" She still had to find a dress, but that was all for later when she wasn't pulling her Barney hours. "Hey, so, you seriously need to start giving me targets so I can start being a wingman again!" she said eagerly. "I feel bad with you not scoring here and you've got all these sympathy cards to play."

[hey_high_five]

"Is he going to..." Shoot, he needed a carpentry entendre, come on, come on, come on. Oh! "Or, are you going to nail his wood?"

He did his eyebrows at her significantly and nodded encouragingly and refused to be jealous. He was Barney Stinson. Barney. Stinson. He would not be reduced to jealousy like a weaker man.

"I mean, it's kind of hard being stuck in here," he pointed out and waved his head vaguely around. "All the hot doctors are taken or don't want to sleep with a patient, and believe me, I've asked. Only patient is a redhead with some serious Crazy Eyes."

[robin_sparkles]

Nail his wood was vaguely amusing, but it kinda felt like a weak effort on Barney's part when she had heard some truly vile things come out of his mouth. And she was sure they went in the mouth too, which she was not going to think about in the same thought as her and him making out, which tended to creep up and remind her of its existence every now and then.

Which reminded her. They needed to talk about that sometime.

Or, you know, ignore it some more. "I'll keep looking, then," she promised, prying the magazine from his hands and flipping pages until she found some more pictures, placing it back in his hands. "I could deliver some of your writing to the newspaper, maybe? You could continue your blog?"

[hey_high_five]

"You could go above and beyond a wingman's duty and break a hot girl's knee cap so she'd have to hobble in here and be cooped up with me. Pull a Nancy Kerrigan and whale on her leg with your curling broom."

Yeah, he's been in this bed long enough that he now knows, and retains, information about curling sporting equipment. Who was this shadow of a man who used to be awesome?

At the mention of the blog, his eyes lit up.

[robin_sparkles]

"I think Chris might be kinda pissed with me if I ruined one of his curling brooms in the name of sex," she theorized aloud, mostly to herself, but it wasn't like she'd ruled it out. There could be women around she didn't like so much but were still hot. Then she could get girls for Barney and take out her rage. Win-win, really.

Robin just watched the whole Pavlovian thing at the end, giving him a suspicious look. "Let me guess, you have dictated blog stuff all around here, don't you?" she asked expectantly.

[hey_high_five]

"There is no greater cause than in the name of sex," Barney declared grandly. "Liberty, truth, they're all just sub-par orgasm replacements."

He made a scoffing sound but the twist of his mouth probably gave him away. "Pfft, no. What sort of lame, publication-obsessed guy do you think I am?"

[robin_sparkles]

"Uh, exactly the lame, publication-obsessed guy you are," Robin returned in like, a point-five second turnaround, she was so good at that one. She just wished she had someone around who could at least acknowledge her burn or high-five her and god, did she miss MacLaren's. "Hey Barney, can I ask you something?" she asked, voice pitching up into the octaves of unsureness.

[hey_high_five]

"Right, like my blog didn't get more hits in a month than Metro News One in a given year," he shot back, and then added a moment later. "Oooh, snap, what up, old media?"

Barney gave her a weird look but then nodded. "Yeah, shoot."

[robin_sparkles]

It was now or never, Scherbatsky. It was time to man up and just ask. "Do you remember, back home, when you came over to my place and we watched the video and then made out?" First, she had to be sure he remembered at all. Because wow, was her face going to be red if he didn't.

[hey_high_five]

There was a moment's pause, still just barely on this side of awkward as his mind wandered back to that night, and he couldn't quite look her in the eye.

"Yeah, Scherbatsky, I dimly recall only the second-greatest music video experience of my life and everything that ensued."

[robin_sparkles]

Robin just nodded, not sure that she should go past that, but she had to. She had to. "What happened after we made out?" she asked, point-blank, not taking her eyes off of him, clutching her mug of tea closer to her body, knuckles going white. "I mean, I know we had sex and that things got weird, but I guess what I'm asking is, was it weird? I mean, or was it good?"

[hey_high_five]

There was this moment, this flash between meeting her eyes and breaking into a shit-eating grin that he almost told her the whole thing. With the grand declarations and sweeping gestures, the whole thing.

Instead he just spread his hands, awkwardly, and says proudly. "Robin, it's me. And it's you. How could it have not been good?"