(Untitled)

[jesus_h_cox]

God damn it, Dr. Cox needed his own hut.

As his eyes slid over supply lists and patient's names, this is what he was thinking, over and over. Living college-style was absolutely ridiculous, and he'd hated it in college, so he hated it even more, now. Not to mention his roommate or bunkmate or whatever was a stark raving psycho and not in that

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[robin_sparkles]

Robin had come in to check on Barney and maybe bring him a cup of coffee except she only had the one and it was really smelling good in her hands and so maybe it would just end up her cup of coffee. And she decided she needed it more when she saw who was there that day. "You actually work here. Huh," she observed. "And here I thought your job was just going around and talking a lot to anyone who'll listen."

[jesus_h_cox]

"Actually," Dr. Cox began, his mouth wide over the syllables to exaggerate them, "that is my part time job." His hand laid on the desk as he stood, rounding to the front and leaning against the desk where he crossed one leg over the other. "My full time job is a doctor with emphasis in making some woman miserable. And I guess.. well, Robin, I guess that's you!"

[robin_sparkles]

"Wow!" she announced with heavy sarcasm and a scoff. "I totally won that lottery." She didn't roll her eyes and was very proud of herself for that as she gave him a curious look, sipping her coffee -- yeah, it was hers now. She'd make it up to Barney later. "So does that mean you can answer questions. You can attempt to make me miserable as you do it," she allowed.

[hey_high_five]

The only awesome side-effect of being in the clinic was getting to eavesdrop on all of the conversations that went on. He figured some people probably thought he was a mannequin. A really unpleasant 'wear a helmet or else!' sort of mannequin.

Some conversations were more interesting than others. Some you might as well interrupt, as much as he might enjoy watching Robin squirm a bit.

"What up, hombres?"

[jesus_h_cox]

Dr. Cox had only had the distinguished pleasure of taking the human plaster mold's vitals a few times, but even that his been mind-numbingly unpleasant. The thermometer was usually the first thing to go in. Made it harder for the patient to do something annoying. Like talk.

"Keep it zipped, Pincushion, wait your turn," Dr. Cox ordered with his head inclined a bit, but that was the only indication that he wasn't addressing Robin, as he was still looking at her. He stood to his full height. "How can I help you, Miss Scherbatsky? To answer your preemptive questions, yes, chances are it is contagious."

[robin_sparkles]

Robin couldn't help the broad grin as she wandered over to Barney's side and put a hand on one of the many, many casts she had available. "Hey, Barney," she greeted politely with a pressed-together smile before glancing up to Cox and giving him an impassive, idle look. "It's about him, actually," she said with a shrug. "Ooh," she said, rubbing her hands together as if eager. "Now you get to try and make two people miserable."

[hey_high_five]

"What up." He gave her a nod and then looked at that cup of coffee in her hand. "You totally drank out of my coffee didn't you?"

After a moment, he glanced past her at the doctor who definitely, absolutely didn't get laid often enough. Poor guy, you could see it in his eyes. Millions of tiny little sperm begging to be set free. "Good morning doctor," he said with a big, wide grin. "Chip chip cheerio, eh what?"

[jesus_h_cox]

Dr. Cox spared a blink to Barney... and then another. Aw, what the hell, ya only live once, so he paid him yet one more.

"What... part of anything I just said made you assume any kind of accent?" Dr. Cox inquired, but he held a hand up before any response could be elicited. "Tut tut, there, The Mummy Returns, that was what we like to call 'rhetorical.'" He turned his eyes back to Robin. "Now. Please ask your questions. I'm all ears."

[robin_sparkles]

"Only a sip," Robin protested with a mild whine as she lowered it down to his lips, digging up one of the various straws they'd been using and waiting for him to take it with his good hand. "The other guys gave a pretty crappy prognosis on the leg, I was just wanting a second opinion," she asked, all business suddenly and debating the probability in her head that she'd get a serious answer out of this.

The numbers were so not good.

[hey_high_five]

He reached over and caught up the straw in his mouth as he takes a few sips of it. It was pretty good- you could tell that it was fresh and probably not made on the backs of indigenous communities being abused by international companies. Plus, Robin knew how he took it. "Yeah, give us your opinion on me, doc."

[jesus_h_cox]

Oh good lord, Robin was boinking Doogie. He wasn't one hundred percent sure, but there was something about it. He left it unnamed, but the second he was sure, he was going to take that scotch-loving, hotass Mountie-lover aside and give her what-for, by God.

"Well, it's not liquefied, there's that," Dr. Cox said, his arms winding to press his clipboard to his chest. "No pins by my count, which is good because our supplies are limited... basically you're going to be laid up for a long time, there, Unbreakable, so might as well get comfortable." Yeah, a serious answer. It was a patient, after all.

[robin_sparkles]

"Like, three months?" she asked, with just the slightest hint of panic in her eyes at the thought of doing daily routines for three months. It wasn't that she minded, exactly, but it was more that she didn't want to get bogged down with the thinking of herself as there three months from then. "But at least there's like, literally a hundred doctors here," she pointed out, with a scoff. "Way to pick a place to convalesce, eh?"

[hey_high_five]

"So Sunshine and I are going to have lots of bonding time. We'll have lots of time to share secrets and paint each others nails." He managed to give him another wide, bright grin before finally letting the mask down and letting out a deep breath. Every muscle had settled into aching- even the parts of him that weren't broken. Go to bed sore and wake up even stiff and miserable until Robin shows up with coffee and breakfast.

[jesus_h_cox]

"And free health care, which is the only thing Canada got right, isn't that right, Alanis?" He afforded a quick glance to Robin -- she was hotter than any woman who didn't have a riding crop ever had a right to be -- and then back to his patient. "Three months would be my guess, but it could be longer, could be shorter. If you haven't already declared a doctor, my suggestion would be to declare me. But that's only if you want quality health care. Really, that's up to you, there." He really thought all the doctors in the area were quite good, but Dr. Cox wasn't exactly known for being humble or nice

[robin_sparkles]

Wow, he talked a lot. Robin had to remind herself to focus before she completely zoned out and started thinking about all the positions she could remember in her head because it was just way too easy to do. "So, three months," Robin echoed with that dismal tone in her voice, plastering a too-fake smile at Barney. "See! That's gr...yeah, I still can't do it, sorry," she admitted, taking the coffee and setting it on the nearest table for him as she gave Cox a helpless shrug.

"And Canada manages to have free health care and a surplus," she retorted as an afterthought, leaning in to retort to Cox and only him. "Also, he has a doctor. It's Barney." She glanced back to him, pushing her thumbs through her beltloops. "Lemme guess. Totally hot, you're working the sympathy angle, and you've already talked nurses into a sponge bath or three?"

[hey_high_five]

"A surplus and a an angry tumorous growth named Quebec," Barney pointed out but gained new-found respect for the guy after the Canada joke. Anyone who enjoyed a decent barb about their Great White North was at least decent.

Barney took another drink of his coffee but nodded in response to the medical advice and considered it for a few moments. "Ellie Bartowski's been looking after me so far- but, you know. She's hot, sweet. Got a boyfriend, but we're working on that. Declare a doctor? Can I get you guys to, like, battle before I pick which is the worthier? Her in a bikini, you in- well, as long as you don't wear one, I don't care what you've got on."