Gideon had been through some fucking insane shit over the last year on the island. After being turned into a girl last month, he was pretty sure he'd experienced just about everything short of going to see the dinosaurs. As it turned out, he was wrong.
It sounded like a fucking explosion, and with him not knowing what the fuck just happened, the only thing he could think of was to lower down and fucking try to shield himself and Penny. A couple of light, flimsy pieces of bamboo from the roof fell on him before it all settled.
"What the fuc-"
He'd stopped short, because he'd followed Penny's gaze and saw what was now in their hut and froze, and for the first time since she'd made him bring in that fucking gun, he really wished he still had it. Instead, he got out of bed, still shirtless, and picked up a shard of bamboo, holding it up menacingly.
"I don't know what the fuck you are, but stay back.," he warned, even as he realized how much he probably looked like a fucking moron.
Shit, it was going to suck if he died by a fucking talking robot. Only shitty action movies had people dying of that.
For a moment, Penny was too stunned, by both Gideon's climbing off her and the voice that came from the freaky metal person thing, to think about the fact that all that was covering her was a pair of tiny denim shorts. The shock passed quickly, though, and within seconds she was sitting up, covering her chest with her hands as best she could.
"...Um," she tried to begin, flushing a bright shade of pink, the syllable barely coming out. She was torn between staring at that thing in the middle of their bedroom, that Gideon was so menacingly waving a piece of bamboo at, and yelling for something more substantial to wear, but in the end, she did neither. "Any chance of finding out what the fuck is going on here?"
Being seen mostly undressed by a talking robot or whatever was surprisingly low on the list of things she wanted to accomplish before she died. Or it would have been, if she had one of those. As it was, she really hoped that thing wasn't about to kill them. It would've sucked for that to be the last thing she did.
Come in fucking peace his ass. While the fact it wasn't getting up and going after him was a little relieving - shit, the bamboo would probably fucking bounce off that thing - he wasn't about let his guard down. He did, however, realize what state Penny was still in, and he kept his fucking eye on the robot as he slowly moved to grab his shirt that was still on the floor and tossed it over to her.
"Just...stay right fucking there, then," he said, as if he were in the position to actually make demands. "What the fuck are you?"
Penny pinned her nearly cringing at his choice of words on the fact that she was sitting there fucking topless while a robot who'd destroyed their roof asked them questions. Still, she managed to keep all sarcastic comments about not being a lady to herself, instead focusing on the shirt Gideon had tossed her.
"Yeah, thanks for that," she said to Gideon, managing to keep the edge in her voice slight. Admittedly, she was a little annoyed that he'd left her half-naked while he went to battle the metal person with a piece of fucking bamboo, but she'd take what she could get.
She struggled with the shirt for a few seconds, trying to figure out a way to get it on without exposing herself again. There was no way around it, though, and with an exasperated sigh, she gave up and let her arms drop before she managed to get the t-shirt over her head.
Only then did she turn her attention back to the robot person thing, the look on her face nothing short of unimpressed. "This is our fucking bedroom, in case you hadn't figured that out yet, and you're kind of interrupting."
What she said was a fucking understatement, and how the thing was talking just made him even more fucking annoyed. It was like the island just kept sending shit at them and forcing them to deal with it. He did lower the bamboo thing some, though he didn't drop it.
"Where did you even fucking come from?" he asked, looking up at the huge gaping hole in the hut now. It was going to be such a fucking pain in the ass to get it fixed. "Did you climb the fucking trees or something?"
"...I noticed, and would be more than glad if you let me make it up to you at a later date," Tony said, deciding it was pointless doing this through the mask and opening it up.
Which also provided opportunity to briefly smile at the girl. "I'd give you my number, only, no pen." He waved one arm at the suit, and then turned subtly to look at the guy.
"I came from- well, I was in the sky above Malibu," he said. "Where I'm obviously not, so much, now."
Mouth dropping slightly open, Penny blinked a few times, glancing between Gideon and what was apparently an actual person in a giant metal suit that gave him a distorted voice. It was certainly an understatement that she'd been hit on before, but somehow, the circumstances this time made it a hell of a lot stranger.
She remained speechless for several seconds, but when she finally did speak, she folded her arms over her chest, as if she needed to cover herself beyond what Gideon's shirt provided. "Uh, sorry, but no, that's the first and last time you're seeing those," she deadpanned, still looking at him warily. "I mean, if you couldn't tell, I'm sort of..." She gestured vaguely between herself and Gideon. Of course, she could say with certainty, now that she could actually see the guy, that her response would have been entirely different several months before. That was beside the point. "And..."
He was new. It figured that the guy who'd crashed through their roof and seen her shirtless would be fucking new.
"Long story short, you just arrived on an island in the middle of fucking nowhere. It brings people from all different times, places, and universes, if you can believe it -- or if you can't, too -- and there's no way off. There is, however, a second island about five miles off the beach that appeared out of nowhere one day a few weeks ago, if you want to go check that out. Any questions?"
Penny might've only been fucking wary sounding, but Gideon was pissed to the point of seething. If he didn't know how fucking outmatched he was - only because of the suit, of course - he would have popped the guy in the fucking mouth for the shit he'd just pulled.
"And I suggest you fucking watch your mouth around my girlfriend unless you want to go wander around the fucking jungle by yourself," he added, scowling, not inclined to be all that fucking helpful right then. It was only the fact she hadn't kicked him out herself that kept him from telling the guy to fuck off and fend for himself.
"I have a few questions, actually," Tony said, more or less ignoring the guy. Benefits of wearing a suit of armor.
Not that the absence of such would have impacted his behaviour. At all.
"The first of which is not, surprisingly-" he pointed at the guy and mouthed Him? Really? "-but instead: arrived how, exactly? If someone figured out teleportation I'm pretty sure I'd know about it."
It was entirely possible that Gideon's comment had Penny beaming, as much as someone in her position could. Of couse, the smile faded somewhat when the guy started talking to her again.
"Yes, him, really," she replied, a little louder than necessary, and as if to make a point, pulled herself off the bed so she could cross to Gideon and slide an arm around his waist. "Did you really miss the part where we were thisclose to having sex when you crashed through the roof? No? I didn't think so."
It was, obviously, far more important to clear that up before dealing with the actual question.
"And as for the other thing, your guess is as good as mine," she continued casually, shrugging. "There's not really an explanation. I was getting off a plane, some people die, it's totally random." She'd very nearly begun to say what Gideon had been doing, and a part of her was tempted to, just to show this weird robot guy up, but stopped herself before she got too close to letting anything slip. It was already awkward enough.
Gideon had just been about to fucking say something back when Penny cut him off. He was actually a little surprised, though he managed not to show it. By the time she was finished, his expression turned smug almost. The guy wasn't even worth his fucking time.
"Basically, you're stuck here for the long run, so you might want to lose the fucking tin suit," he said, dryly. Usually it sucked telling people shit like this, but this time, Gideon didn't mind all that fucking much.
He held up his hands in something of a placatory gesture, just because.
"Yeah, it's a gold titanium alloy, but don't worry about it," Tony said, just because he knew there would be no worrying about it at all.
But he did need to lose the suit, that was a fair point. Even on basic functions only, it was draining- well, it was draining power. That was, you know, keeping him alive. "Since I'm guessing you're not in charge around her, could you point me at who is?"
Penny didn't know what a gold titanium alloy was. She also didn't exactly care to. That, she supposed, was what came from dropping out of school after eighth grade to start fucking rock stars.
"Well, there's a council?" she suggested, though she sounded slightly dubious about it. "I don't know that they could help you, though, aside from giving you a bed in the Compound. Which is where most people sleep. There's also a kitchen and a washing machine and things like that. It's -" She turned to Gideon, obviously biting back a smirk. "What, like, a twenty minute walk? I'm sure you'll have no problem getting there, in this weather, in that suit."
Pausing as if struck by a sudden thought, she feigned a look of concern. "Oh, does that thing repel bullets?" she asked. It looked like it probably did. "You might want to be careful, we've had a couple people turn up dead lately. Shot, you know. Wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you on your first day."
Never let it be said that Penny Lane could not be a bitch.
Gideon really couldn't give a shit what this guy was in. He looked like a fucking reject from a superhero movie, and those things were the fucking lowest rung, if you asked him. Regardless, he smirked slightly at what Penny was saying. Like he needed more of a fucking reason to like her.
"Door's that way," he said, pointing behind the guy. He really didn't give a shit what happened to him. She'd given him enough to go on, and he was done with this bullshit. "I'm sure you can fucking see yourself out."
It sounded like a fucking explosion, and with him not knowing what the fuck just happened, the only thing he could think of was to lower down and fucking try to shield himself and Penny. A couple of light, flimsy pieces of bamboo from the roof fell on him before it all settled.
"What the fuc-"
He'd stopped short, because he'd followed Penny's gaze and saw what was now in their hut and froze, and for the first time since she'd made him bring in that fucking gun, he really wished he still had it. Instead, he got out of bed, still shirtless, and picked up a shard of bamboo, holding it up menacingly.
"I don't know what the fuck you are, but stay back.," he warned, even as he realized how much he probably looked like a fucking moron.
Shit, it was going to suck if he died by a fucking talking robot. Only shitty action movies had people dying of that.
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Tony sat up with a hiss of gears, head turning to examine the scene.
Wow. Okay. He'd dropped in and cockblocked someone who... had a hut. Thing. In Malibu. Malibu?
"Jarvis-" he said, without engaging the speaker, so they couldn't hear him.
Jarvis managed to sigh, which was a feat for a disembodied AI voice. "If you're asking me to save a picture of the girl, I really-"
"-no! Well- no! What've you got on where we are?"
"The visible stars are inconsistant with any previous constellation on record. Visible flora as we crashed was consistant with the South Pacific."
Oh-kay. Maybe he should have asked for something on the girl.
"I come in peace?" he tried, out loud, using the voice of the suit. He needed a better name for it. He'd get on it.
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"...Um," she tried to begin, flushing a bright shade of pink, the syllable barely coming out. She was torn between staring at that thing in the middle of their bedroom, that Gideon was so menacingly waving a piece of bamboo at, and yelling for something more substantial to wear, but in the end, she did neither. "Any chance of finding out what the fuck is going on here?"
Being seen mostly undressed by a talking robot or whatever was surprisingly low on the list of things she wanted to accomplish before she died. Or it would have been, if she had one of those. As it was, she really hoped that thing wasn't about to kill them. It would've sucked for that to be the last thing she did.
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"Just...stay right fucking there, then," he said, as if he were in the position to actually make demands. "What the fuck are you?"
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"I'd like to agree with the lady, here," he said, with the suit's voice. "Where is this?"
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"Yeah, thanks for that," she said to Gideon, managing to keep the edge in her voice slight. Admittedly, she was a little annoyed that he'd left her half-naked while he went to battle the metal person with a piece of fucking bamboo, but she'd take what she could get.
She struggled with the shirt for a few seconds, trying to figure out a way to get it on without exposing herself again. There was no way around it, though, and with an exasperated sigh, she gave up and let her arms drop before she managed to get the t-shirt over her head.
Only then did she turn her attention back to the robot person thing, the look on her face nothing short of unimpressed. "This is our fucking bedroom, in case you hadn't figured that out yet, and you're kind of interrupting."
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"Where did you even fucking come from?" he asked, looking up at the huge gaping hole in the hut now. It was going to be such a fucking pain in the ass to get it fixed. "Did you climb the fucking trees or something?"
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Which also provided opportunity to briefly smile at the girl. "I'd give you my number, only, no pen." He waved one arm at the suit, and then turned subtly to look at the guy.
"I came from- well, I was in the sky above Malibu," he said. "Where I'm obviously not, so much, now."
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She remained speechless for several seconds, but when she finally did speak, she folded her arms over her chest, as if she needed to cover herself beyond what Gideon's shirt provided. "Uh, sorry, but no, that's the first and last time you're seeing those," she deadpanned, still looking at him warily. "I mean, if you couldn't tell, I'm sort of..." She gestured vaguely between herself and Gideon. Of course, she could say with certainty, now that she could actually see the guy, that her response would have been entirely different several months before. That was beside the point. "And..."
He was new. It figured that the guy who'd crashed through their roof and seen her shirtless would be fucking new.
"Long story short, you just arrived on an island in the middle of fucking nowhere. It brings people from all different times, places, and universes, if you can believe it -- or if you can't, too -- and there's no way off. There is, however, a second island about five miles off the beach that appeared out of nowhere one day a few weeks ago, if you want to go check that out. Any questions?"
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"And I suggest you fucking watch your mouth around my girlfriend unless you want to go wander around the fucking jungle by yourself," he added, scowling, not inclined to be all that fucking helpful right then. It was only the fact she hadn't kicked him out herself that kept him from telling the guy to fuck off and fend for himself.
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Not that the absence of such would have impacted his behaviour. At all.
"The first of which is not, surprisingly-" he pointed at the guy and mouthed Him? Really? "-but instead: arrived how, exactly? If someone figured out teleportation I'm pretty sure I'd know about it."
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"Yes, him, really," she replied, a little louder than necessary, and as if to make a point, pulled herself off the bed so she could cross to Gideon and slide an arm around his waist. "Did you really miss the part where we were thisclose to having sex when you crashed through the roof? No? I didn't think so."
It was, obviously, far more important to clear that up before dealing with the actual question.
"And as for the other thing, your guess is as good as mine," she continued casually, shrugging. "There's not really an explanation. I was getting off a plane, some people die, it's totally random." She'd very nearly begun to say what Gideon had been doing, and a part of her was tempted to, just to show this weird robot guy up, but stopped herself before she got too close to letting anything slip. It was already awkward enough.
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"Basically, you're stuck here for the long run, so you might want to lose the fucking tin suit," he said, dryly. Usually it sucked telling people shit like this, but this time, Gideon didn't mind all that fucking much.
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"Yeah, it's a gold titanium alloy, but don't worry about it," Tony said, just because he knew there would be no worrying about it at all.
But he did need to lose the suit, that was a fair point. Even on basic functions only, it was draining- well, it was draining power. That was, you know, keeping him alive. "Since I'm guessing you're not in charge around her, could you point me at who is?"
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"Well, there's a council?" she suggested, though she sounded slightly dubious about it. "I don't know that they could help you, though, aside from giving you a bed in the Compound. Which is where most people sleep. There's also a kitchen and a washing machine and things like that. It's -" She turned to Gideon, obviously biting back a smirk. "What, like, a twenty minute walk? I'm sure you'll have no problem getting there, in this weather, in that suit."
Pausing as if struck by a sudden thought, she feigned a look of concern. "Oh, does that thing repel bullets?" she asked. It looked like it probably did. "You might want to be careful, we've had a couple people turn up dead lately. Shot, you know. Wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you on your first day."
Never let it be said that Penny Lane could not be a bitch.
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"Door's that way," he said, pointing behind the guy. He really didn't give a shit what happened to him. She'd given him enough to go on, and he was done with this bullshit. "I'm sure you can fucking see yourself out."
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