(Untitled)

[anewwaive]

Being in the body of some random, kind of skeezy guy was a lot like going through grief. There stages involved and while there were considerably fewer dead bodies (thank God), it pretty much the same thing.

First, there was the ‘oh my God’ stage, which she had run through pretty fast, followed by the ‘I need about three drinks and four cigarettes

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[turnthebadinme]

Serena slumped forward in the kitchen, sitting at a table with a cup of coffee and her head in her hands. This day was incredibly fucked up, and the only thing that could have made it weirder was if she'd been in someone else's body, which apparently Blair was, except that she couldn't find Blair anywhere. As far as she could tell, B wouldn't be in the body of the dude currently in Blair -- which, okay, oh god, gross, she wasn't thinking about it that way ever again -- so trying to hunt him down was pointless. She tried to run through the places Blair might be as she sat, barely noticing as someone came into the room.

[anewwaive]

"Serena!" Blair called, seeing her best friend completely ignore her as she entered the kitchen. She could be more bothered by this, but one of the stages of coping with the whole 'I'm in the body of what might have been one of the more disgusting men in the world' situation meant eating really good sandwiches. And any remnants of cake that were left lying around.

"Serena, you have to try this sandwich. Oh em gee, it's worth dying for."

[turnthebadinme]

Serena knit her brow, her mouth twisted into something that was both a smile and a frown. "O-kay," she said slowly. "Sure. What kind is it?" She stood to walk over, prepared to play nice. The guy looked like Gideon, whom she'd liked pretty well, but she wasn't actually sure it was him. He looked different, neater. Either way, she hadn't really taken him for an 'oh em gee' kind of guy.

[anewwaive]

"Boar, but I don't think they have any other kind of meat."

Not like roast beef or ham. Didn't they have pigs or something around here? Maybe chickens? Couldn't they just slaughter something and roast that up? People were so picky about their livestock. Then realising that S still didn't recognise her, Blair rolled her eyes and sighed, which was a pretty impressive feat given that the body she was in wasn't exactly predisposed to this sort of thing.

"It's me, S, Blair."

[turnthebadinme]

That made her stop, stock still for the space of a few seconds before she catapulted herself at Blair, throwing her arms around her in relief. "Oh my god," she said, "oh thank god, I couldn't find you anywhere." Who care if she looked like the guy from The Office right now? Serena had been worried sick. "There's this, this guy in your body, and he sounds like you and it's just really weird. Are you alright?"

[anewwaive]

"I've totally been worse. I mean, I've had a few drinks, cleaned up this guy's act a bit, and now this sandwich oh my god," Blair took another bite, moaning a bit. Really it, the enjoyment of this was practically sinful and not a bit of it would go to her hips. It was a beautiful thing.

"I woke up next to Penny Lane, which was a bit disturbing and I might have overreacted a bit, but I'm kind of chill now. It's a miracle what a few drinks will do." She laughed, shaking her head. "Wait, some guy? What guy?"

[turnthebadinme]

That meant it totally was Gideon, in which case Serena didn't really want to be hearing that kind of moaning coming from his voice. Those were noises apparently best saved for Penny Lane -- although, please god, not while Blair was still entrapped by all this. There were some things Serena just didn't want to think about.

"I don't know, B, " she said, waving a hand and leaning against the counter. "He kind of looked exactly like you, so it was a little hard to tell, but I've never heard of him. Do you recognize the name Lord Jeremy Northwood? He talked like he was from, like, the eighteen hundreds or something."

[anewwaive]

"A lord? There's some lord in my body?" Blair's--well random skeezy guy's-- mouth fell open in what could only be described as an indignant gape. Why did the island have to suck so much to make the first Lord they'd encountered to be in her body, rather than next to it?

"Figures. I'm trapped in the body of some sort of ogre and miss out an a chance at minor nobility, which happens to be living in my body. Great."

[turnthebadinme]

"He seems like a really sweet guy," Serena said, looking down at the counter through her eyelashes. Her fingers traced idle patterns on the surface there, and she even smiled a little before looking up again. The words had all been coming from Blair's mouth, but they'd been reassuring in a way usually reserved for times of great distress. Then again, she supposed, this really was one of those, or had been at first. "So at least your body's in good hands. Sort of. Figuratively. I mean, they're your hands, but you know what I mean. And anyway, come on, Gideon's not exactly hideous here. I don't know how he'll take to the spring cleaning, though." She cracked a grin, reaching to lay a comforting hand on Blair's.

[anewwaive]

"That's comforting." In a twisted way it was, knowing that her body wasn't in the hands of some sort of axe-murderer or pedophile or worse. She wasn't quite certain what worse was, but she didn't want to think about it.

"He'll probably pop a blood vessel, but I'm not going to tell him it was me. It was fairies if anyone asks. Island-cleaning fairies." And not of the homosexual sort.

[turnthebadinme]

With a murder just behind them and Chuck Bass on the island, Serena had a couple people in mind for who could have been worse. The murderer, being a shadowy figure of her imagination, was the less frightening option, frankly. She would have felt more comfortable if she'd known just who Lord Jeremy was, she was sure, but for now, it was a relief just to know where Blair herself was.

"With a little help from the clothes box," she teased. "What, do we have hairdressing pixies now? 'cause I wouldn't mind a little trip to a salon right now, or a spa -- we could use one with the stress."

[anewwaive]

"Naturally," Blair said, picking up a piece of lettice and waggling the eyebrows on her face. God, just wait until she went back and decided to try on the pink. Maybe it was time for a Chuck Bass style sweater or two.

"Would you really be surprised that sort of thing? I wouldn't."

[turnthebadinme]

"Well, you currently look like a man," Serena said, "who's dating Penny Lane from Almost Famous, and I woke up sharing a room with your body while it contained the mind of a lord from 1780 something, so no. Not really." Right then, she wasn't sure there was much that would surprise her.

[anewwaive]

"Actually..." Blair wrinkled her nose in a mildly guilty sort of way. She kind of felt bad, in that way that things that happened around her that in no way were her fault sometimes made her feel bad. "They might not be dating anymore. She sort of freaked out and bailed this morning. It was qutie the experience."

[turnthebadinme]

"Blair," Serena sighed, head tipping sideways. She sighed again, shrugging that off, shook her head. "Well, it's not Gideon's fault that this happened. I'm sure she'll forgive him. And you. It'll turn out alright."