(no subject)
I find that I watch this place from afar more often than not, and this suits me just fine. It is not -- has never been -- my place to be the centre of attention. No, that job has always been left to Phedre, who weaves her way through crowds with an effortless grace, learning all there is to know in just a single glance. My place is simply at her side.
Even now. Even after everything here.
I tried doing without her, once, and it was a mistake that quite honestly nearly destroyed everything. It is not a mistake I would willingly make again. There is naught that would make me leave her, not after all we have been through together.
But that doesn't stop me from acting the fool, from saying things in anger that I do not mean, from purposefully distancing myself from all I know in order to keep from doing it again. I know better, but I do it still. For all that I am a grown man, betimes I do not act it, though I would not say it aloud.
As I do every day without fail, I practice the Cassiline forms, sword and daggers flashing and spinning. I have done this since I was 10 and I will do it until the day I die. The routine at least gives me cause to clear my mind of all that troubles me. Today I sit at a tree stump in the clearing, cleaning my sword and daggers as best I can with what I have.
I am lost in thought, but not so lost as to miss the footsteps of another. I do not pause, though, merely shift my grip on my sword ever so slightly. Like as not in this place, it is not cause for concern.
[yes, i know i owe other tags, but i'm reading new canon and he is very loud. tag whenever, i'll either be lightning fast or very slow, depending on work.]
Even now. Even after everything here.
I tried doing without her, once, and it was a mistake that quite honestly nearly destroyed everything. It is not a mistake I would willingly make again. There is naught that would make me leave her, not after all we have been through together.
But that doesn't stop me from acting the fool, from saying things in anger that I do not mean, from purposefully distancing myself from all I know in order to keep from doing it again. I know better, but I do it still. For all that I am a grown man, betimes I do not act it, though I would not say it aloud.
As I do every day without fail, I practice the Cassiline forms, sword and daggers flashing and spinning. I have done this since I was 10 and I will do it until the day I die. The routine at least gives me cause to clear my mind of all that troubles me. Today I sit at a tree stump in the clearing, cleaning my sword and daggers as best I can with what I have.
I am lost in thought, but not so lost as to miss the footsteps of another. I do not pause, though, merely shift my grip on my sword ever so slightly. Like as not in this place, it is not cause for concern.
[yes, i know i owe other tags, but i'm reading new canon and he is very loud. tag whenever, i'll either be lightning fast or very slow, depending on work.]