Calling All Hot Girls
That’s Joey’s line. It has always been Joey’s line, ever since the internet guys had sent him the official certificate and he’d spent twenty minutes trying to make Chandler’s laptop print it. And only seven of those minutes had been taken up looking at porn. He was committed.
People who don’t know him give him strange looks as he runs down the aisle dressed like a World War 1 soldier, bloody cuts and all. He only panics a little when he realises he has left his notes in his dressing room because he is an actor, dammit, a professional, in a soon-to-be hit epic movie out Memorial Day weekend 2002! He knows how to make it up as he goes along. He’s in the zone, feeling a thousand times better than he thought he’d ever feel stood up here marrying two of his best friends. The look on Chandler’s face is one he’s never seen before; Monica looks beautiful, everyone is here to watch a performance of a lifetime and Joey is delivering it on a silver platter. He’s on top form.
He’s---
“Rings.”
“Aw, crap!” Joey screws up his face. “Okay---uh…uh let’s-let’s do the rings.”
Chandler turns to Ross; Monica to Rachel and Phoebe, and each return with the other’s ring. Whilst Joey’s aware how special this moment is for them, he’s willing them to go faster. There’s a giant wedding cake out there with his name on it and if they don’t get a move on, his stomach is going to start wailing right there during the ceremony.
“We good? Yeah?” He checks wide-eyed around the room. “Good?”
No-one corrects him any further which puts Joey on the home run. One second from now and he’ll have joined two people in holy matrimony. Wow. The power. Chicks are gonna dig it.
“…Once again, I pronounce you husband and wife.” A mischievous smile spreads across his face. “Now kiss…her….” He has to scrunch his eyes closed against the glare. “…….Again.”
He sinks a little in the sand as it covers his booted toes and he shakes his head to clear it. Seriously. Maybe he should’ve cut down the Sex on the Beach porn to five minutes, it’s clearly playing on his mind. Which is wrong. He’s at a wedding, for goodness sake, before the eyes of God!
When he opens them again, the sun is still high in the sky and the waves are still crashing gently on the shore and Joey’s bladder is getting ready to go Pop It right here and now.
“…Chandler?” He stands rooted to the spot. “Mon?…….. Phoebe?!”
Take stock.
He’s on a beach.
He still has - Joey’s hand flies to his crotch - yep, still there.
And the weather is awesome.
Which pretty much means…
“Hot girls?!” He keeps a grip down south, just in case whatever freaky thing just happened to him decides to take away the Little General as well as his friends, and calls again, striding haphazardly across the beach. If this is some whacky porno he’s somehow found himself in then there’s got to be some chicks around here to take his fancy. “HOT GIRLS!” He tips his head back, imploring God. Even He’s got to appreciate a beautiful woman every now and then. “Where are the hot giiiiirls?” He shakes his boots and starts off on his search once more.
[ooc: Hi! Newbie TR player and Joey here to say hello! Find a WW1 soldier holding his crotch, walking in random directions on the beach, looking for hot girls (preferably in bikinis!), needing a pee and pining for pizza and wedding cake. First person can explain all the LOST-esque info and the rest can go from there! SL/LT are hearts. :D Thanks!]