Veronica Mars may not have known Yuffie well, but fighting a villain with a crapload of tentacles qualified as a bonding experience in her book, so when she saw the girl out on the beach, she stopped.
"Hey," she said, sliding her hands into her pockets. "How goes it in Ninjaland?"
"Can't get laid," said Yuffie, with the casual concerned contemplation that the further keeping of her virginity required. At least, somewhere, somehow, her father was in a cold sweat. That was always worth it.
"I'm... not getting laid either," Veronica said, giving Yuffie a sideways look. "I hear the big parties are pretty good for that, but my last boyfriend was a total douchebag, so I think I'm good on the whole men thing for now."
"I mean, not even for the first time," said Yuffie. "Which is what I'm after." She blew her hair out of her eyes. "Okay, so who's the douchebag? I'll make sure I don't ask him."
Of course, try as she might, she couldn't predict who Veronica would say. "Oooh, is he part of a major island population? Douchebags don't count as a population."
Ah, that. I've never been able to understand the rush to accomplish something so personal. The whole thing seems overrated to me. But then, losing your virginity at a party where everyone hates you while roofied probably has something to do with that.
Veronica arched an eyebrow and shrugged, hesitating. On one hand, talking about her ex-boyfriend wasn't something she was interested in doing. On the other hand, warning Yuffie off seemed like fair game. "Sam Winchester," she said. "He's about twelve feet tall, kind of depressed all the time, got hair in his eyes."
"Winchester," she repeated thoughtfully, because the name sounded familiar, like a weapon or something. "Okay. Will do."
Her Teenage Girl sense was tingling, so Yuffie said, "Is it the depressed part that makes him a douchebag? I always thought we were supposed to like that."
Veronica looked sideways at her again and then laughed. "Well, if it works for you," she said wryly, because who was she to say what Yuffie should like? And, truth be told, her last few boyfriends had all had more than their fair share of emo moments anyway. Or emo weeks. Or months. And daddy issues.
She shrugged, like it was no big deal. "No, it was more the part where he thought I couldn't take care of myself. That, and the height thing. I mean he's thiiiiiis tall, I'm thiiiis short, the neckaches just aren't worth it."
"Oh, that part I know about! Not with your Sam, but with guys in general. I mean... how often do you think anyone believes that I'm the greatest ninja ever? Especially MALE people?"
Veronica nodded emphatically. "I know," she said, "just because you're small and a girl doesn't mean you can't kick their ass from here to next Sunday if you feel like it. The world's greatest ninja, I'm not, but I've been training for two years now. I think I can handle myself okay."
"Yeah, you're pretty good for having awful taste in men!" Yuffie smiled winningly. "But one of the best fighters I know has terrible taste too." Also, the biggest rack ever-- Yuffie was consistently and constantly amazed by those boobs.
Veronica turned her head, looking slantwise at Yuffie, eyebrow raised. "I'm... just going to take that as a compliment," she said, then laughed. "I'm working on it. The fighting and the crappy taste."
"Hey," she said, sliding her hands into her pockets. "How goes it in Ninjaland?"
Reply
"You?"
Reply
Reply
Of course, try as she might, she couldn't predict who Veronica would say. "Oooh, is he part of a major island population? Douchebags don't count as a population."
Reply
Veronica arched an eyebrow and shrugged, hesitating. On one hand, talking about her ex-boyfriend wasn't something she was interested in doing. On the other hand, warning Yuffie off seemed like fair game. "Sam Winchester," she said. "He's about twelve feet tall, kind of depressed all the time, got hair in his eyes."
Reply
Her Teenage Girl sense was tingling, so Yuffie said, "Is it the depressed part that makes him a douchebag? I always thought we were supposed to like that."
Reply
She shrugged, like it was no big deal. "No, it was more the part where he thought I couldn't take care of myself. That, and the height thing. I mean he's thiiiiiis tall, I'm thiiiis short, the neckaches just aren't worth it."
Reply
The answer was almost never.
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment