"Hey, kid," Joe said when he spotted Yuffie, his guitar slung on his back and Ozzy at his heels, following him along happily. He'd left Dale behind at home and had decided to head to the stage or somewhere that he could get in a little practice. "What's up?"
Looking down at her, one of Joe's eyebrows arched curiously and he tried not to laugh. The corners of his mouth twitched faintly anyway, no matter how hard he tried. "Oh yeah?" he asked. "You been trying pretty hard? For a long time?"
"I asked around!" Yuffie said. "Well, okay, I just asked Lee, but I guess he has some kind of hang-up where you have to like each other in a certain way blah blah blah. I picked him 'cos he's a Good Guy, like with capital letters, but unfortunately--" and she heaved a great sigh, "--that also means he hears voices telling him only to use his powers, and apparently also genitalia, for good and I dunno, marriage or true love or some crap."
Giving a soft snort of laughter at that, Joe tried to figure out if he knew who Lee was, but he couldn't come up with a face to match the name. "I gotta tell you, if I heard that he'd just up and fucking done it without batting an eye, I'd have to track him down and kick him in the fucking face."
Maybe she'd be a virgin for awhile longer, but at least she wasn't sleeping with some asshole.
"Really?" Attention caught, Yuffie sat back up and gave Joe the eye, her curiosity aligned with the oddness of the statement. Did he also follow the Code of Lee?
"Because, man, that's not something you fucking do if you've got any respect for the person at all," Joe said with a shrug and a soft snort. "It's a big fucking deal or it's supposed to be anyway. If you're a decent kinda person."
Joe wasn't one of those people, but that didn't mean he thought other assholes could fuck with the people he cared about.
"That sounds like something my dad would say," she said, chewing on the inside of her cheek. "But without the cussing." Yuffie hugged her knees to her chest thoughtfully. "Okay, but-- why? I mean, why is it a big fucking deal? At home, all the guys I knew, it wasn't, really. They were always talking about getting laid and stuff, and that's just my village."
"That's because men are fucking stupid and generally useless," Joe answered with a snort of laughter, then shifted his guitar around and sat down in the sand beside Yuffie.
"And to be honest, I bet about eighty percent of the guys who bragged about it weren't actually getting laid. Guys lie about that shit all the time just because they think it's fucking cool or some bullshit like that."
"Well," said Yuffie, "most of them were fucking stupid and generally useless, yes." She wrinkled her nose. "So wait, is it all about the orgasm, then? All this fuss for thirty seconds? Or is it about pride? And what if I wanted to brag about bagging me a nice looking man?"
"...or is this one of those things that's different from women?"
"Orgasms are pretty fucking great, but you don't need a guy to do that for you, man. If it's just about an orgasm, you can do that by yourself and fuck anyone else," Joe answered with a laugh.
"It's about pride with guys, that's why they fucking lie like idiots, yeah. And I guess sometimes it's one of those things that's different for women. Guys do it and they're fucking... revered or some shit and then women do it and they're called sluts." Which Joe didn't like, mostly because Joe'd spent most of his young life with women anyone else would've called a slut.
"Wait, wait, wait, how do you do it yourself?" Yuffie leaned forward, all sharp curiosity. This was probably why the boys would disappear by themselves mysteriously. The selfish bastards, not sharing this information!
"Shit, kid, have you really never masturbated?" Joe asked, looking over at Yuffie with his eyebrows raised. That didn't seem right, he'd been doing it since before he could really remember. "Fuck, well, that's the first step. You got fingers, right? Put 'em to use. You'll figure out what feels good soon enough."
"Joe," she said. "I'm a princess. Do you really think my dad would have let any of my grubby little friends live to see the next day if they'd said something like that? I mean, Godo-- my dad, the once or twice he tried to talk about sex he called it my FLOWER. I'm not supposed to give away my FLOWER."
Giving another laugh, Joe shook his head and said, "Fuck your flower. And not in the literal sense, man. Just... Christ, yeah, it's not something I think you should just do for the sake of doing it, but if you treat it like some fucking thing you have to protect, then you're never gonna learn to have fun with it. That's the important thing. You gotta have fun and you don't do it with assholes who're just gonna brag about it to their friends the next day."
"That sounds like something my mom would say." Yuffie looked down at her feet. "But without the cussing. Joe, you might be addicted to swearing." She looked back up at him and grinned. "You can be like the step-mom I never had."
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"...I can't seem to lose my virginity."
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Maybe she'd be a virgin for awhile longer, but at least she wasn't sleeping with some asshole.
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Maybe he could explain it.
"Why?"
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Joe wasn't one of those people, but that didn't mean he thought other assholes could fuck with the people he cared about.
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"And to be honest, I bet about eighty percent of the guys who bragged about it weren't actually getting laid. Guys lie about that shit all the time just because they think it's fucking cool or some bullshit like that."
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"...or is this one of those things that's different from women?"
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"It's about pride with guys, that's why they fucking lie like idiots, yeah. And I guess sometimes it's one of those things that's different for women. Guys do it and they're fucking... revered or some shit and then women do it and they're called sluts." Which Joe didn't like, mostly because Joe'd spent most of his young life with women anyone else would've called a slut.
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Or he really would kick someone in the face.
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