(Untitled)

[thebonelady]

When Temperance Brennan had gotten into the lab that morning, there had been a surprise

Comments

[wormholed]

He'd carried the flowers all the way from the treeline, but they landed square in the wastebin almost as soon as they'd crossed the lab threshold.

"Man," John drawled, staring mournfully after the discarded bulbs before he pointed his finger at the sarcophagus. "No way can I compete with that!"

[thebonelady]

She may have been staring lovingly at the mummy. Like one might look at a child.

But when John came in, she hopped down and sprinted over to him, throwing herself at him full force. "It's a mummy! Genuine and from what I can tell, definitely that of a pharoh and god, I don't know if I want to study it or fuck your brains out first."

[wormholed]

Needless to say, John's feelings on the matter made a major about face and zoomed off in the other direction, which John might have been able to communicate were all his blood not swiftly abandoning his brain for more exuberant pastures.

"Mmf," he said against her mouth, "the second one. The second one!"

[thebonelady]

"Hmm," she said, and slid down from where she'd practically climbed him. Grabbing him by the belt loops, she pulled him along in the direction of the dead royalty. "Lots of time for that. Mummy is brand new."

[wormholed]

John groaned - and not in the good way, dammit! - readjusting his waistband as he trailed after her. "We'll talk about his later," he murmured to the giant slab of a cockblocking mummy coffin, then joined his wife at the head of it.

"Wait," he said, wondering for the first time, "Where'd this come from?"

[thebonelady]

"Egypt," said Temperance distractedly. "I think it might be a female. That would certainly narrow down who she might have been. There aren't a lot of women who would have been buried this glamorously."

[wormholed]

"How can you tell?" John trilled, following Temperance wherever she happened to flit thanks to her hand on his belt. "Looks like a raisinette to me."

[thebonelady]

"Well," said Temperance after a few moments. "The name on the tomb is Hatshepsut. You can read it too, right? This is because of the tiny robots in my brain?"

[wormholed]

John squinted, following her eyes to the scratches on the stone, half-obscured by sand and time.

"Oh yeah, hey. What's up?" he asked the mummy. "Didn't she die of a sore tooth?"

[thebonelady]

Looking back over her shoulder, she felt a warm rush to see him squint. "I guess we could find out for sure, couldn't we? I don't suppose we could build an x-ray machine within the week, though."

Temperance leaned on the edge of the tomb, looking down at the gaping face. "She's kind of cute, John."

[wormholed]

"Guess it's against policy to jam your finger in there and see," said John, not looking too put out by this fact.

"You know, I think 1812 might have an x-ray." The little droid had all kinds of gadgets John ignored in favor of the more entertaining ones. Like the laser canon.

"But I'm not getting him until you take that back."

[thebonelady]

Her eyes lit up, and she was back in his arms. "I knew there was a reason I married you," she teased, and after kissing him on the mouth, added, "Okay, I suppose she's not cute in the traditional sense of the word, like kittens and puppies and even babies."

[wormholed]

"Babies are cute, aren't they?" said John, warming to the topic. "Little round things that roll around, waiting to be stuffed with anthropological knowledge. And, their hands fit in all kinds of places scientists can't go!"

And maybe he was stretching that, just a little bit, but he never passed up a chance to talk about babies.

[thebonelady]

"...you're saying you believe it would be morally acceptable to send an infant into a small space in the name of science?"

[wormholed]

"Well not by himself!" John insisted. "It could be a family thing. Like Lost in Space, but without Dr. Smith."

[thebonelady]

Temperance shot him an amused look. "You wouldn't really let me do that to the baby."