(Untitled)

[waydowndark]

It doesn't look like much.

Beth's pretty used to having the skin scraped off her hands and knees at this point; she's off the bike as much as she's on it, pretty much, and she knows how Teyla feels about that, but it feels pretty fucking incredible, being on the bike, and she isn't about to stop riding it

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[thedescent_into]

She can hear it. Hear it and without seeing, she knows what it is. She knows, light from the screen flickering off Beth's face. That horrible screeching, clawing, tearing sound and the soft, shuffling gags closer to the microphone. She hears that sound in her sleep, sometimes, and now she's standing in the doorway, frozen. Frozen until she sees Beth double over, shoulders lurching as her stomach empties, and Sarah moves forward without thinking, kneeling at Beth's side and reaching for the camera.

Hands shaking, Sarah presses the power button and the screen flickers to black.

[waydowndark]

It's like something breaking. Cover in vomit, and shaking, Beth drops the camera and wraps her arms around Sarah, tight as she had that day into the hospital, when Sarah had slammed into her hard enough to shake her bones.

"I didn't know," she mumbles. "I didn't...Jesus, Sarah."

[thedescent_into]

"Alright. It's alright," she murmurs and she doesn't hesitate before her arms are wrapped around Beth's frame, blinking rapidly and staring off into the space behind her. It's like the static falling away from a radio station, bits and pieces becoming clearer. Creeping into the edges of her consciousness. Fuck, she thinks, and it's the first time she's thought about what's happened on that level. That basic, human sort of level of, Oh, fuck, we're fucked... Her Beth voice, she always used to think, rattling around in her head.

[waydowndark]

"I saw..." Beth's crying now, and she doesn't know when it started and she's got her arms around Sarah's neck and she's just holding on for dear life.

"Oh, Jesus, Sarah. I didn't know."

[thedescent_into]

"I know," she says, voice straining around the tightening of her throat, eyes squeezing shut and the sounds of Holly being ripped apart still echoing in her ears.

[waydowndark]

Beth shakes her head, still clinging to Sarah, tears pouring down her face.

"I didn't mean to, love. I didn't...it was just here."

[thedescent_into]

"I know. It's alright," she murmurs and pulls back carefully to look at her, her hands shaking as they frame the sides of Beth's face, her thumbs brushing the tears from her cheeks.

Her stomach rolls and for a moment she can smell that heavy, overwhelming sweetness of death, clinging to the insides of her nose and choking her. It had been so strong down there, so overwhelming, she'd thought she might suffocate. She was sure she'd never get out of there.

But she had. Both of them. Somehow, they were her and alive and it was over. It was over...

Now, all she had to do was start believing that.

[waydowndark]

"I'm so sorry," mumbles Beth, swallowing hard. "I'm so sorry that you were there on your own. I'm sorry I left you."

Her stomach convulsed again and Beth choked back a retch, turning her face to the side.

[thedescent_into]

"Okay. Alright, come on," she says, dimly aware that the entire island ate their meals in this room and getting Beth to the toilet should probably be a priority. She pushes to her feet, supporting nearly all of Beth's weight, and grabs the camera up along the way. She can't leave it there. For whatever reason, she just can't.

"I need you to walk for me," she murmurs calmly, half leading and half carrying her back toward the toilets, her free hand gently combing the sweaty hair from Beth's face and the camera searing her palm.

She shoulders through the door and lets them both sink to the tiled floor, murmuring softly and holding on tight. "You didn't leave me. It's alright. You didn't."

[waydowndark]

"I did," says Beth, her eyes tight closed as she leans against Sarah and tries to breathe through the urge to vomit. She can hear bones cracking in the silence of the bathroom, hearing those strange, rippling calls echoing off the tiles.

Her fingers tightened on Sarah's shirt, clinging to her.

"Why?"

[thedescent_into]

She shakes her head, no, and gently covers Beth's hand, curled into tight, trembling fists. "I ran one direction, you ran the other. We all did. You didn't leave me."

They'd left each other. And she'd watched Holly get torn to shreds, then had to kill her best friend -- her best friend in the whole fucking world, moments later.

"I don't know."

[waydowndark]

"It shouldn't do this to us," says Beth, quietly. "It shouldn't keep fucking doing this to us. I love you, and it's not fucking fair."

[thedescent_into]

"I should have told you," she murmurs softly, but honestly, what possible good would that have done? What possible purpose could that knowledge have served? Why did she have to see. She shouldn't have seen... It had been something Sarah kept safely secret. Hidden away, in the dark. Away from Beth. The one way Sarah knew how to protect her.

[waydowndark]

"I should've been there," says Beth again, and maybe she's never going to be able to let go of that again, the fact that she should have been there, should have been with Sarah, and should've never, ever let her go, and fuck running the other way.

"Becca looked so beautiful," she said, quietly. "At the beginning of the tape. So did you."

[thedescent_into]

If there is hidden meaning there, Sarah doesn't catch it. She only nods and says, "That morning... it was good. It was really good." They'd been together again. Happy. She'd felt better than she had in months. Now, she hardly remembers what it felt like.

[waydowndark]

"It was fun," said Beth. "We had fun. And now, fucking look at us. Half the time, I feel like I'm pretending. And then I feel like shit, because that's got to be hell on Teyla."