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[sir_samuel]

The day had begun normally enough. Vimes had woken up, he had gotten coffee (that damned coffee that the guy in the suit always made was about as far from Watchman’s coffee as you could get - which meant it was well, very drinkable), had come into the IPD office and made a mess of whatever files Cam had spent the night sorting. There were the usual

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[how_itgoes]

Sam's honestly wondering somedays about just what sort of place he's living in. His Guv, the new Guv, at least, and not the Gene Genie, Sherriff to the Law, is calling for carrots. Sam's been lurking, doing his paperwork of every patrol, because God is in the detail.

"Sorry, boss," Sam notes, dryly. "I could find you some spinach though, you give me a while."

[sir_samuel]

The reply was startling and incongruous enough that for a few moments Vimes anger left him, replaced by utter confusion. He turned to look at Tyler, blinking stupidly while the words processed.

"Oh." He opened his mouth and closed it. "Not. Um. The vegetable. It's a person."

He regained his composure, eyes narrowing. "Have you seen anyone sneaking around the office lately?"

[how_itgoes]

Sam can't help but be bemused by the whole thing. He knows there's a Carrot according to the roster (Sam likes to know everything, likes to memorise all the information). "Not that I've noticed," Sam offers an apology. "I usually do most of my paperwork in the rec room."

Occasionally, he gets a good tune from the jukebox.

Besides, he hears things in the office. People. Gene.

[sir_samuel]

Vimes snorted at the bemused look. "It's not like I named him." Damned dwarfs. "All right. Well-"

He sighed and shook his head. His immediate anger was cooling, turning to something more determined. But he could continue that damned search later. For the time being there was other business to take care of. Like the possible island-wide Crazy.

"It's Tyler, right?" He sank into the desk chair. "How about patrols? You seen anything..." damn, he didn't even know what to ask for, "out of the ordinary lately?"

[how_itgoes]

It's like asking if cats enjoy mice.

Sam doesn't smile, exactly, but he wants to laugh. Has anyone seen anything? He's seen everything, but he can't say so. "Couple reports from the Clinic and IPD about strange visions, but nothing related and mostly stress attributed," Sam says. "Not to mention, we have a field of marijuana growing. I'd like to know how many of these are drug-related."

[sir_samuel]

"Huh." Vimes frowned. "Yeah, I've read a couple of 'em. But it's all shadows, and people that disappear outta nowhere. Nothing substantial."

The bit about drugs, well... He considered it. He tried to picture de Worde involved in anything that could be called a 'drug-related incident'.* It didn't compute.

He shook his head. "Well, I know at least one can't be. And another," he dug through the stack of papers and pulled out one of the first reports he had gotten about the business, "was Ned Stark's wife, so I don't find that likely, either."

*In which he wasn't the one labeling it a drug-related incident, that is.

[how_itgoes]

Sam scratches his face distractedly, trying to look at the reports and cross-reference with anything else he's heard. "Ever consider the possibility of malicious play? Someone who wants a bit of mischief who has access to hallucinogens and the public system?"

Life in the seventies has reminded him, if nothing else, of the country's drug craze.

[sir_samuel]

Vimes blinked a bit. Sure, the idea of crazy halluciengenic drugs wasn't new to him. In Ankh-Morpork one of the greatest thorns in his side had been the trafficking of certain substances which, if ingested by human beings, would probably fry their brains*, sold by and to the many criminal gangs of trolls that roamed the Shades.

But purposefully drugging other people just because? It kind of seemed to miss the point.

"Could someone do that? I mean, do we have anything here that a person could stick in the water like that?"

*literally.

[how_itgoes]

"Depends on the drug substance, it'd have to be something that takes to water," Sam offers his opinion, easing back in his chair and folding his arms. "LCD would do the trick," he admits.

"I used to specialize in drugs," he explains, to Vimes, lest he be thought a druggie...which he could be seen as, the way his psych history goes.

[sir_samuel]

Now Vimes was definitely listening. He leaned back in his chair and absently picked up a pencil, tapping one end of it against the desk.

"And could someone get their hands on something like that here? Realistically?"

He still wasn't so sure about the theory, but it was better than anything else he'd heard.

[how_itgoes]

"Not realistically from a growth point of view," Sam answers, cocking his head to one side as he relaxes. "My primary concern is that people get things out of nowhere here. I mean, I've seen letters arrive, animals, all sorts of mad things."

[sir_samuel]

And the whiskey sitting in my bottom drawer.

Vimes nodded grimly. "Would there be any way to track that sort of thing? See where it came from or something?"

[how_itgoes]

"Not unless you drank the polluted source or saw someone doing it," Sam offers with a hopeless shrug. Drugs, always a frustrating cause.

[sir_samuel]

Damn. He hadn't had much hope, but at least it would have been something to go on.

He frowned, absently tapping his pencil on the desk. "You wanna make a couple inquiries, Tyler? Since you're the expert. See if you can find out if anyone has any of this LC-whateveryoucallit, that sort of thing?"

[how_itgoes]

The idea of responsibility to Sam is just so juicy, so mouthwateringly perfect that he doesn't care what it's about. He wants this. "Yeah. Yeah, I could do that, Guv," he agrees, nodding eagerly. "Could get a few statements out of people thinking they're seeing things, see if a trail turns up."

[sir_samuel]

"Good, good." Vimes gave a nod. "See what you can dig up, bring it back to me? If it is drug-related, it's at least possible to trace with a couple questions, right? And if not," he shrugged, "at least we've ruled something out."