(Untitled)

[crazyspacegirl]

As much as River loved her home and her crew, Serenity was a tense place to be just lately. Mal and Simon seemed always on the verge of beating each other to a pulp again; River knew it was because of her, and she didn't know how to stop it

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[mr_vera]

Jayne wasn't happy neither about what was going down on Serenity. Having Simon here was bad enough, but him scrapping with the Captain all the time was even worse. And then there was the business with Mal and River gettin' it on or something. Which just made his gorram brain hurt.

But if it was, it just proved his long-held theory that the Tams - both of 'em - were nothing but trouble, and Mal never should've gotten involved with them. Which was kinda too bad, 'cos he was actually starting to think River was all right, but apparently he was wrong about that too.

"Hey," he said sullenly, when he saw her sitting around reading some sort of crazy numbers stuff. "Ain't you hangin' 'round the Cap'n no more?"

[crazyspacegirl]

"Not right this minute, unless you think he's hiding in a tree."

Jayne hadn't really done anything to annoy her lately, but she didn't miss the way he looked at her sometimes, since Simon had returned, as though she offended him just by being around and being a Tam.

"He's not much into physics, anyway. He's probably doing something more interesting to him just now."

As long as she could find him if she needed him and whatever he was doing wasn't getting into another scuffle with her brother, Mal was free to do whatever he liked, as far as River was concerned.

[mr_vera]

"Well, hell, what could be more interestin' than sexin' up a crazy girl half his age? Don't tell me he's actually got some legitimate business hereabouts."

Jayne was hoping she'd react with outrage to his suggestion that she was sleeping with the Captain, because he was really hoping he was wrong about the whole thing. Maybe that whole fight with Mal and Simon had been about something else. Maybe she just... liked Mal a lot. Yeah, that was it. That had to be it.

[crazyspacegirl]

"I just told you. He's not here right now, so he doesn't have any business around here at all at the moment. And I'm nineteen. If I was half Mal's age, he'd be several years older than he is." She gave Jayne a pitying sort of look. "I suppose math isn't your strong suit."

[mr_vera]

Aiyā, wasn't she supposed to be some sort of genius or something? Sometimes it seemed like the point was flying over her head faster than a speeding bullet.

"So you are gettin' it on with Mal. And I don't mean right this minute," he added before she could say anything.

[crazyspacegirl]

"Anyway, it would be rude to have sex out here on the path where anyone could see. We'd at least go into the trees or someplace private," River continued.

She paused at Jayne's phrasing, and wrinkled her nose. She didn't care if he knew, but she figured Mal might. Too late to close this barn door, anyway, so she just shrugged.

"If that's what you want to call it. It's not really anyone's business but mine and Mal's, though."

[mr_vera]

"The hell it ain't," Jayne snapped. "Some crazy-ass passenger traipses onto our gorram ship, hands us a pack o' lies 'bout herself, practically gets us all killed, and sexes up the Captain? Hey, where have I heard that one before? Oh yeah, some gal callin' herself Saffron. What's th' difference 'tween you an' her, huh? Explain that t' me, 'cos it's lookin' mighty shifty from my point o' view."

[crazyspacegirl]

"I'm not anything like her and you know it." If anything could get River angry in a very short amount of time, it was mention of that lying whore, especially in relation to Mal and sexing. I didn't sneak on the ship. Simon brought me. And I never lied to any of you, especially not the Captain. I've never tricked him into anything. You're just jealous because no one loves you."

[mr_vera]

"So once you got Mal under your thumb, were you two gonna steal th' ship or what? An' I bet Simon's just pretendin' t' be mad, right? Don't know why you'd go t' all that trouble just for some bucket o' bolts, but hey, nobody said you two were 'xactly cunning. Can't believe Mal fell for it, though. Thought he was smarter n' that."

Jayne felt very clever for putting all the pieces together. It was all clear to him now. He just couldn't figure out why they'd done it.

[crazyspacegirl]

River just stared at Jayne for a moment. None of what he said made any sense to her at all.

"Why would I want to steal Serenity?" she asked finally, honestly puzzled. "Serenity's home. And Mal's not 'under my thumb'. He's his own person, and he does whatever he wants. You ought to know that by now, if you were capable of learning."

She closed her notebook and tucked her pencil inside, too angry to concentrate on her work anymore.

"Why do you care, anyway? You would have sold all of us out, if the money was good enough."

[mr_vera]

"It ain't your gorram 'home,' and we ain't your gorram family, so stop spoutin' all that gŏu pì! You was usin' us all along, both o' you! I shoulda sold you out! Least then I wouldn't have to listen t' your crap no more!"

Jayne was getting red in the face. "So now what's your plan, now that you got Mal good n' pussywhipped? We ain't got nothin' t' steal, the Feds ain't after you, and the ship ain't goin' noplace. Might as well just find someone more worthwhile t' con, huh?"

[crazyspacegirl]

River couldn't say a word at first. Serenity was the only place in the whole 'verse that had ever really felt like home to her, and hearing anyone tell her that it wasn't was more upsetting than she could have imagined. It hurt her worse than when Jayne had actually slapped her across the face, and at least she'd cut him first that time. She hadn't done anything to him at all now.

"I don't have a plan," she said in a very small voice. "And the only cons I ever participated in were with you, and the crew." Her voice trembled, though she was trying not to cry. "I don't want to leave. I love Serenity, and Mal, and the Captain's the only one who can ask me to leave, and he won't. Because he loves me." She knew that was true, but Jayne was making her doubt it, and that was worse than seeing Reavers.

[mr_vera]

Jayne stared at her. Saffron could put on a good show of being all crying and upset too. He'd seen her do it. But for some reason he wanted to believe River, even though his theory about her made perfect sense (to him, anyway). Maybe because he'd been starting to think she wasn't so bad. Maybe because he didn't want to think that Mal really had been taken in by a con.

Or maybe because he was just a big ol' sucker. He'd believed Saffron too, at first.

"Prove it," he said finally, even though he knew she probably couldn't.

[crazyspacegirl]

"Prove what?" River asked, wiping the tears from her eyes before they could take over completely. "Prove that Serenity's my home? There's nothing tangible to that. It just is. Prove that I'm not a lying whore, trying to take you all in for money or something? You're the one who did that, so I guess you'd know, but you're still alive, aren't you? Prove Mal loves me? You'll have to ask him about that."

River didn't even much care anymore about what Mal would say to her sending Jayne to him on such an errand, but she didn't know how to prove feelings to someone like Jayne who didn't even seem to have any.

[mr_vera]

Dammit, he really was a sucker, 'cos he was starting to feel bad now. "Well, what th' hell am I s'posed t' think? Mal ain't ever shown the slightest bit o' interest in you - last I checked, he was all crazy 'bout Inara. Now all of a sudden he's all in love with you and you're sexin' it up and bein' all cozy-like? Either th' whole world's gone fēng kuáng de or somethin' funny's goin' on."

[crazyspacegirl]

"Inara's been gone a long time. She and the Captain never would have worked out, anyway. She's not... He... They never understood each other. Don't you remember?" It seemed obvious to River, even if she did have the advantage of reading their thoughts. Inara and the Captain hadn't even really spoken the same language, in things that mattered. "They just argued all the time, and I think it must not be very much fun to try to be in love with someone when you have to fight about everything. Love should be an easy thing; nice, when other things aren't. Mal and I understand each other. You left us. All of you. And Mal and I have had each other, all this time, and that means something."

River didn't know why she was trying to explain love to Jayne, who prided himself on not even kissing on the mouth.

"All the rest of it, it isn't any of your business, or Simon's business, or anyone's but mine and Mal's."