(Untitled)
It was a morning, just as any other on the Island. At least for Kaylee it was the same. Waking early-ish, as it was sometime after the sun had fully risen and was promising a delightful day. It wasn't yet too hot and the breeze was something without that unbearable humidity, refreshing and cool, barely to be felt at that! After getting dressed and ( Read more... )
"Shepherd Book brought us some once, picked 'em that very day n'all. N'I once had some at a real fancy party, they was fresh, had t'be for th'rich folk. Definitely ain't th'same when they been kept cold a few days." Heading in the direction she was shown, Kaylee looked to her basket, brows arched as though she was surprised by the gesture, there was a gracious sort of smile. "Oh thanks plenty, but you don't gotta. M'tryin' t'make myself useful is all, an if I let you carry this I hardly done that." She was being truthful, Serenity being grounded was often of some guilt to her.
Kaylee near winced as he mentioned the fact he found someone as a kid. "'Praps he'll get used to it, I mean must be kinda nice t'be little again, I don't think y'ever feel the same kinda energy y'had when you was young. I used to run all 'bout the place"
As far as the inability to get a date was went, Kaylee couldn't help a very small snicker. "Must be a doctor thing is what I reckon. I still ain't able t'believe how Si-" She nearly mentioned Simon without a second thought, like he was still here. "How Simon had so much trouble talkin' to girls." Voice a little quieter this time.
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Wilson had hoped the subject wouldn't come up, that they might empathize with each other indirectly, but he stopped in his tracks for a moment, letting the scene before him blur into a haze of blues and greens. "I can't believe he's gone. He was so happy, um, the last time I saw him." Mentioning that the last time he'd seen Simon, his head lay on a pillow they shared, inches away, and he wore nothing but a gold ring, would have been cruel, but the dreamy expression on his face must have given that sentiment away.
"When I knew for sure he'd gone..." The words faded, backing up in his larynx. He covered by walking again, heading toward the berries. "I had to learn how to breathe again." His voice held an eerie calm note. The words might have been more dramatic than technically truthful, but it felt true. Wilson remembered forcing air in and out of his lungs that morning, so little did he trust his body's involuntary actions.
The scent of growth, of fresh earth and ripe fruit washed over him as they got closer to the berry patch. He sank to his knees, which allowed him to hide his glassy eyes. "We're here," he said needlessly.
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Kaylee thought it might've been a comment that was just left to pass, she knew they'd been friends after all, and he'd understand. "Me either ..he-" she paused rather suddenly, she had begun to sympathise and only after had really listened, had she noticed he really sounded upset. Hurt. Though her gaze was set on the basket in her hands. "I 'sposed he might'a been at the clinic when it happened." she said softly, her disappointment obvious, but she assumed innocence. Simon was a doctor, she reminded herself how important it was. "I was up real late, just tinkerin' on Serenity ..he ain't even come back that night. He weren't there for breakfast neither, I worried some ..but thought perhaps there was somethin’ happenin’ at the clinic, I ain't even knowed he was gone. But River did."
There wasn't another thing said for a moment, mostly because the mechanic was trying to completely understand what was being said to her. James' words had a certain weight; you didn't talk about such a struggle to see someone go, if they were just a person you worked with. "Um. So, you was close to him, huh?" She paused, glancing to the Doctor as she followed. "Just that ..he didn't talk about y'so much." Perhaps this fella had some sort of unrequited feelings for Simon? The thought popped into her head, and she instantly felt a little sorry she'd been so blunt.
"I ..ain't meanin' t'sound surprised none." she even looked a little embarrassed. "He just don't ever talk about his work at all. Never would y'see. Listened more." Still feeling rather bad for her words, she offered a sad sort of smile to the man. "Cap'n said it weren't anyone's fault, 'cause that happens here. Nothin' we coulda done -- this place just done takes folk, no matter how much they was t'us."
It was somewhat of a relief that they arrived upon the patch of dirt with all it’s tangled patch of berries. Kaylee kneeled beside Wilson, staring at the plant closest. "Oh now this is amazin'" she gently lifted a strawberry still on the stalk with the palm of her hand. "Seein' how they grow wild an' all.”
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Wilson reached out with his left hand to pick a bright red strawberry, and the sun glinted off his ring's shiny finish. The glare stung as it reached his eye, and as he squinted to block it, a voice in his head--Simon's voice--told him that Kaylee deserved to know. Tell her, James. You're braver than I ever was that way.
But he had to find the right words, the ones Simon had never been able to find. "We... Simon and I were together when he disappeared. He was in my arms, and then he wasn't.
"We'd been a couple for a while. Everybody I knew was aware of that, but our circles only really connected through the clinic. He wanted to keep it from people he knew, and I respected what he wanted." He stopped for a moment, to collect himself, to remember how Simon had smiled as James slid the ring on his finger and said he'd have to share his precious secret now. "Knowing Simon changed me. Loving him made me better, somehow."
He would never be the same, and it seemed appropriate that he looked different than normal at the moment. He examined the fruit in his hand, then bit into the end, savoring its perfect flavor.
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Most daintily Kaylee brushed the strawberry over with a finger, as though to remove any dirt that might've collected on it, before she popped it in her mouth -- most definitely different, nicer just like he said. "Mm, They're gonna just love these, 'praps I better get some raspberries too. Yer a awful sweet fer showin' me this place." She smiled. Already inspecting the little shrub closest for more to take back to Serenity, it was when James began to speak, that her attention very quickly turned.
It wasn't exactly what she'd expected to say the least and the confusion was clear on her face, brows creasing. “But ..what-“ She paused, it hardly needed to be made any clearer. “Simon ..woulda told me -he uh. He wouldn’-- I thought he-” She attempted to voice some protest weakly, knowing truthfully that what was being said explained a whole lot. Now she just looked hurt, quick to avoid the Doctor’s gaze.
It was when she couldn’t speak that Kaylee began to realise how ridiculous she felt. Pining for Simon like she did, seeking him out for conversation constantly, flirting and thinking he was warming up to her again that bit more each time. She’d openly gushed to any who’d listen about how she felt for the boy and was simply waiting for him to lift his head from his work. Her cheeks were now flushed brightly, the mechanic visibly embarrassed.
Worse, the last time she met Dr Wilson for her injured finger, she’d spent the near entire time rambling about Simon. Right now, she was too upset hear any of the good toward how the two of them had felt.
“I gotta go.” She said at once, her voice trembling as she made a move to stand, reaching for her basket.
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"Wait," he said. Or asked, pleaded, begged. He couldn't bear for her to think badly of Simon. "You're right. He should have been honest with you. Not telling you was selfish in more ways than I can count, but he... he rarely had the chance to be selfish, to have something that belonged to him and not have to share it with anybody else."
James hadn't really understood them, but Simon had his reasons for keeping the secret. He rose, but made no attempt to make eye contact. Kaylee needed time and privacy to deal with this shock in her own way, but he had to say one more thing.
"Wherever Simon is now, as much as I'd like to think he remembers me, I know that's not true. But he does remember you, and he cares about you. You matter to him, Kaylee. You always have."
Hurt radiated from this sweet, kind girl, and James felt it. He could only hope that he wasn't making the wrong choice in leaving her alone, but that's what she seemed to need right now. If she ever had questions, he hoped she would know she could ask him anything.
Right now, he just wanted to find a quiet place to be for a while.
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"Don't excuse it." She said quickly, choosing to stare at the basket again, voice only just audible, she still didn't seem sure of what to say. The words that were offered to her, though they were supposed to be of comfort, helped little. She huffed out a sharp breath. "Said once t'me ..he regretted not takin' somethin' for himself, for not takin' what he truly wanted. --I. I really thought he was bein' truthsome when he'd said it were me." It seemed hardly so now, and she wondered why she even had admitted it aloud, she simply needed to say something that made her feel a little less ridiculous for feeling how she did about him. Kaylee clutched the basket to her as she stood.
However James tried to help, it seemed as he had predicted, it was going to take Kaylee a little time. "Can't be a great deal, seein' he never did care enough t'stop me actin' like a gorram bèndàn fer him th'whole time." Her cheeks were still burning, her gaze held down. "'Spose it was somethin' of a joke." Now she was bringing Wilson into her embarrassment over the matter.
Likely, she'd regret the outburst later, especially given some time to cool off, but right now she wanted home. There was no thanks for the person who'd offered her the truth and perhaps she'd worried in her temper what else she might say, choosing to turn from the Doctor and move at a hurried pace back to Serenity.
[bèndàn = fool]
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