(Untitled)

[jdick]

It was weird that the day he turned thirty-six was also the day he'd been on the island for exactly ten months, so Joe decided that he'd do something to commemorate it before holding some office hours. Nothing big, just something he'd been thinking about doing for a couple weeks already and so he stood in front of the bathroom mirror, a razor in

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[strandedseaman]

Horatio stood in the doorway, running a hand through his own recently shorn locks. "Well," he said after a moment. "What spurred your reformation, then?"

[jdick]

"Ten months here and my birthday," Joe answered easily, looking up he heard Horatio's voice, his eyebrows rising slightly at the sight of him. "And what the fuck spurred yours?" He'd never seen Horatio with short hair before. It was sort of strange. As strange as it was to see him bald, he imagined.

[strandedseaman]

"Ray," answered Horatio, coming to seat across from Joe at the desk. "I'm not quite sure how to explain it, but it needed to be done." He smiled. "Happy birthday."

[jdick]

'Ray' was a good enough reason for Joe. After all, 'Billy' had been the reason he'd done a lot of things, so he smiled slightly and nodded, because he understood that. "Thanks, man. I didn't even realize until a couple days ago."

[strandedseaman]

Perhaps it was impertinent to ask, but somehow Horatio imagined society's usual niceties might not be appreciated by Joe. "How old are you now?"

[jdick]

"Thirty-six," Joe said, casting Horatio a quick glance that made it clear he didn't want to hear any cracks about his age. He was going to get enough of that shit from Logan and Neil.

[strandedseaman]

Horatio caught the look, but he'd remarked on Joe's 'innocence' once before and survived, which made him bolder than he might have otherwise been. "You have a decade on me, Joe." Thirty-six would have been considered old in Horatio's time, but not on the island, and certainly on Joe. "Ought I call you 'sir,' again?"

[jdick]

"Oh, fuck you," Joe snorted, giving Horatio a dirty look. "Don't even think about it or I'm gonna think of a fucking awful name to start calling you and see how much you like it."

[strandedseaman]

Horatio smiled broadly. A 'fuck you' from Joe was practically a term of endearment. "What sort of awful name?"

[jdick]

"I dunno," Joe said, appraising Horatio for a moment as he tried to come up with one. "Maybe Dick Head? No, that's too plain. You deserve something more. Cunt Face?"

[strandedseaman]

"Dick Head," Horatio mused. "That sounds rather proprietary. Whereas...Cunt Face, did you say?" This was more perplexing. "I'm sorry, is that like a cuntline or cuntsplice?" Either way, it was a reference to more bawdy seaman terminology, which Horatio was surprised to discover Joe knew.

[jdick]

Joe snorted with surprised laughter and shook his head, trying to control his laughter in order to speak. "No, man, it's an offensive term for a woman's vagina." Might as well be as plain as possible. Otherwise, he had a feeling Horatio wasn't going to get it.

[strandedseaman]

"Ah." Horatio's eyes widened as he realised at long last where the term had originated. A cuntsplice was a type of rope splice used to join two lines in the rigging of ships, the two ends being spliced together with a gap between the two parts. If one applied one's imagination, the visual effect rather resembled..."Oh dear. No, no I suppose I wouldn't care for that name at all."

[jdick]

Joe's grin widened as Horatio's eyes did and he looked far too amused. "I told you I could come up with an awful name." That would teach Horatio not to doubt the power of Joe's dirty mind.

[strandedseaman]

Horatio laughed, albeit a little nervously. "Would you really considered, ah, cunt face on par with 'sir'? If so, I shall remember always to avoid it."

[jdick]

"Exact same level," Joe said firmly, because he hated being called sir, even if it wasn't as insulting as Cunt Face. Mostly it was just hilarious to hear Horatio actually say it.