what a interesting weekend!

[the_bitch_here]

This weekend was a bit werid. I went to RC and there was no one there because there was a drag show. That really sucked that no one showed up to RC and I was left all alone by myself. I had to get my mom from work at 9 anyway. I was stupid and drove all the way back to Carbondale to meet some friends. That was fun to say the least. Ever wonder if I will ever grow up and move out on my own. I try and save some money to put back and it jsut does nto work cause everyone keeps taking it. God Damn It. For once I would like to save my money so I can get a place of my own someday. Will I ever find someone to love(besides my dogs):(... I sure hope so. There is someone I would love to be with but I have my reasons not to be with her. I love her but yet I can't see her at all. Basically the only time I saw her was at school and now her dad won't even let her go to school. So how can I see her? It has been about a two months now since I saw her last. That is really killing me. I just wonder if I will ever have the night like I had when I got her out of the house ever again. That night will always stay with me until the end of my life. It is hard to go without seeing someone you love for a while...a long while(right Melissa). How can anyone do that? I sure as hell can't. I actually was trying to forget her and get over her but that will never work out. It is not as easy as they say it is. Can you ever find your one true love that God has for you? As for my faith I am questioning that now. I don't knwo what to do. I have screwed up so much already to even think about going back to church. I think I am just feeling terrible for having sex. Or maybe it is because I am Bisexual. Does God still love you no matter what? I guess I have listen to the mormons too damn much. I will never know I guess until I die. But when will that be? I guessing WHENEVER GOD IS READY TO TAKE ME FROM THIS EVIL PLACE CALLED EARTH. Up to him totally. But if it were up to me I might be gone already. But I guess God is having his way.:(( God must not be ready for me to bare children or he dont want me to because I am Bisexual. Who the hell knows. I really could care less. Could you care? I don't care. I know I have said enough but can I not share my feelings. The person I was talking to left and now there is no one to talk too. I don't know if I can trust anyone with all my feelings. My friends Maybe I can but for now, not unless I know from them will I ever tell them my feelings. Besides them reading this. Well I guess that is enough from me now. I guess I am going.

For more info just comment. plzzz...leave a comment to all who read.

-K-