I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.
I'm too tired.
I'm frustrated and lonely as fuck and jealous and scared. Your sad songs don't even mean anything to me because I've never lost what I've never had. My heart is about ready to burst, and I need an outlet. I am happy for you (for all of you), I am. But I'm sad for me. I want to react selflessly and be buoyed up by your love, but your smiles feel like a kick in the stomach sometimes.
I love Christmas. Honestly, I do. But it's getting harder and harder not having someone special to hug or kiss or even just send me a text or an email to say they're thinking of me. To wish me a happy Christmas. I should be happy with what I've got, because I've got so much. But I'm not.
An outdated map, crumpled in my pocket
But I didn't care where I was going.
I don't know why this lyric keeps getting stuck in my head.