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[the_big_z]

OH GOD!

Like everyone else, I too have been affected by the island's magical mojo! My boundless reserves of raw courage and male bravado have been stripped from me. Like a crawling baby bird, I am helpless and meek! I will require hugs and nurturing. From women. Men, some money to help ease my psychological pain would be nice.

I'm just- *sniff* so- *

Comments

[pastoralpeach]

O-oh... are you all right, sir? Is there anything specific you need to help you feel better?

[the_big_z]

Only the nightly companionship of a beautiful maiden can ease the burden burdening my burdened heart. *sniff*

[pastoralpeach]

Nightly companionship? Talking to you at night...?

[the_big_z]

Something like that.

[pastoralpeach]

If it's someone to talk to, I can help. [has obviously not caught on to the suggestive phrases.]

[the_big_z]

Well, not so much talk as, say, fondle.

[pastoralpeach]

F-fondle? Um, I don't think I can assist with that.

[the_big_z]

But you meet all of the qualifications!

[pastoralpeach]

Shouldn't everyone be keeping their hands to themselves, though? It's only polite.

[the_big_z]

This is the Zapper's lovenasium you're talking about here. Polite's got nothing to do with it.