In honor of Shasta and her stiletto diaries

Jul 18, 2008 03:22

Ten things you wish you could say to 10 different people right now (don't list names):
1. I'm sorry, but ditch the bitch.
2. What do you want from me? Every time I think I've figured you/us/it out, you knock the wind out of me.
3. I dreamed that you raped me and knocked me up; I don't think we should see each other any more.
4. You make me feel cheap. Thanks for that. Why do you say you love me and want to marry me?
5. Thank you for being here within arm's reach! I couldn't survive my crazy world without you!!!
6. I don't want to babysit your son. Ever. Again. Period. Underscore.
7. Do you have any idea just how passive aggressive you are? If so, grow up, drop the drama, and just stop it. If not, get with it and use your big kid words to communicate your feelings rather than causing everyone around you to walk on eggshells trying to read your mind. (That was pretty passive aggressive in itself, hmm?)
8. How is it that you have no shame or sorrow for the pain you caused someone that considered you a best friend? You are as "sexy" and "mature" as your plucked eyelashes.
9. Let's "watch QVC"! :) :) :)
10. I appreciate you more than words can say. You are the orgasm beneath my skirts. Thank you! If only you had a penis...then we would make the perfect couple.

Nine things about yourself:
1. I am a perfectionist and a procrastinator.
2. I used to be a professional clown. And I was really really good at it -- just ask my bank account!
3. I want to have my own pole studio someday. (Which I shall run with my PhD well in hand!)
4. I have three non-fiction books about sexuality, gender issues, and warped relationships in the works.
5. I have a baseball bat named "My Little Friend" that I used to keep in my car but now keep by my bed.
6. I am the "next Dr. Hiscoe" according to the great lady herself.
7. I am far more comfortable in heels or barefoot than in sneakers, flats, or flip flops.
8. I've received marriage proposals from four different guys. I only said yes twice.
9. I used to do modeling and cheerleading. Now forget that I said that.

Eight ways to win your heart:
1. Smile! Laugh! And about something that is truly funny without bashing or being crude.
2. Don't be afraid to touch me. In public. Seriously, some PDA is a must. Without being gross.
3. Be genuine, kind, and completely serious about something that touched YOUR heart.
4. Stop talking/venting and look me in the eyes. Now, be quiet for a while and cuddle with me.
5. Do something unexpected and unselfish for someone else. And don't brag about it.
6. Surprise me with flowers. But don't be overly sappy about it.
7. Sweep me up in your arms and give me a piggyback ride.
8. Let me take the lead with a kiss and be willing to adapt. Slow down and less tongue makes me see stars.

Seven things that cross your mind a lot:
1. Money and the lack thereof.
2. The future of the world.
3. Current fears and stresses.
4. My family.
5. My friends / significant others.
6. Moment of love and happy memories.
7. "WishIcoulda" regrets.

Six things you wish you never did:
1. Let the worse roommate in the history of ever-ness move in.
2. Kissed him.
3. Wasted my time dating him.
4. Spent more time with my extended family members who are not long for this world.
5. Became complacent.
6. Didn't file charges.

Five turn-offs in a guy/girl:
1. Lack of smile / bad teeth / scrawniness / chicken legs. (Okay, superficial moment over...)
2. Horrible widow's peak! (HAH!)
3. Cocky ass attitude with overt (or passive) aggression and jealousy.
4. Unreliability and inconstancy.
5. Inability to communicate without cursing excessively, groping, and/or being derogatory towards others.

Four turn-ons in a guy/girl:
1. Regularly expresses appreciation / admiration / affection for me, others, and good things in his life.
2. Has a wide breadth of knowledge and interests and is willing to share them without being pompous.
3. Driven and passionate about doing something productive and goal-oriented in the future.
4. Is close to family members and friends.

Three smileys that describe your life:
1. ;-)
2. :p
3. 0:)

Two things you want before you die:
1. To ride a motorcycle. (But I don't want it to be the reason I die...)
2. To give birth. (Likewise, don't want to die in the process.)

One confession:
1. I'm scared to get what I want as much as I'm scared not to get it.
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