found you (2/3)
found you (2/3)
yunho/changmin
summary: yunho's content with a loveless marriage, has the perfect trophy wife but one business trip to japan changes it all.
Changmin knows he can’t look at Yunho for a long time. And by long, he means a minute, maybe a second, in the desktop because he knows it will only bring flashbacks and he can’t afford any those yet because he’s still bent over the things that happened. If he’d look at Yunho like he used to he’ll just bring up the happy times and then for a second he’ll be happy and then he’ll have to start from the beginning when he sent Yunho away. To where he belongs.
It’s been years. Two years to be exact and he’s still caught up by the little things that remind him of Yunho. The uncapped bottles he refuses to close, the Marlboros he left by the door and the ramen house he took Yunho the first time he met him. Changmin hasn't gone back to that restaurant ever since.
He’s starting to forget Yunho’s touch, the way he kisses and Changmin is not sure if he’s ready to let go of that just yet because he knows that some idiotic part of him, he’s still hoping that Yunho might come back. Pathetic, he thinks.
Forgetting is something he’s never been good at. Ever since he was a kid he always got what he wanted and that there weren't any bad memories that needed to be forgotten so he never really had a problem until now.
Until Yunho.
“Changmin,”
“Not now, Jae,” Jaejoong is annoying him again when he’s busy looking up cheap flights to Incheon just because he doesn't have anything lined up for today.
“Any good flights to Incheon?” Jaejoong says teasingly. Changmin sighs and closes three tabs. Airlines took their seat sales seriously, Changmin just thought it was a sign. Whatever, he thinks and opens another tab and types the first porn site he can think of.
“I thought so,” the other line scoffs.
“What do you want?” Changmin clicks through the kajillion tags of school girls, lesbians, hardcore and what not. He’s not in the mood for some cheap but he’s also not in the mood to talk to Jaejoong because he knows it’ll only end like-
“Just go to Korea,” Like this. Changmin chuckles bitterly and closes the tab completely, reclines his seat, closes his eyes, puts his feet up his desk and crosses his ankles.
“You know, for a friend who has a MBA in Business Administration from some prestigious American university, you’re not really bright. Pushing your friend to ruin a perfectly good marriage,”
Jaejoong is sighing and Changmin is considering it. Considering going to Korea and sweep Yunho’s feet away from his trophy wife and bring him back to Japan where they can have all the ramen they want and be fat together and just be together.
Man, that sounded so amazing in his head.
“I’m not telling you to ruin their marriage, Baka. All I’m saying is you give it your last shot before giving Yunho up. You know what I mean? You need to reassure yourself that Yunho is not feeling miserable and cooped up in a loveless marriage.” Jaejoong has a point but Changmin knows he can never execute the things his friend is saying. It’s all too risky, and Changmin doesn’t like risks.
“Whatever. I’ll call you later, I’m busy,” Changmin says and hangs up before Jaejoong could even say anything.
Maybe Jaejoong was right. Maybe he needed to come and see Yunho for himself. To reassure himself that Yunho is happy with his life right now. It’s been two years already, if their relationship meant anything like it meant to Changmin, Yunho would have searched for him a long time ago.
But Changmin can’t say the same because he also didn't do his fair share of finding Yunho. In his defense, Yunho’s married and who was he to follow a married man? He was no home wrecker either. Not yet, though.
A lot of things were floating into Changmin’s mind. For one, he was hungry and ramen sounded nice but it’ll just remind him of Yunho and the lady in the shop would ask him why he hadn't visited in a long long time? He didn't want to explain himself, what was he supposed to say? Sorry, I had an affair with a married man and I sent him away and going to this shop will bring back memories I need to forget? No, that’s ridiculous.
Two, Jaejoong’s plans kept on pushing him to the curb. Kept him late at night and thinking of the possible outcomes if ever he flew to Korea and saw Yunho. Two sub a, finding Yunho was easy; his company is a business partner, so contacting him was easy as pie but could he face Yunho? After everything that happened? He’s not really sure.
Two sub b, what if he saw Yunho and he saw him with his wife? Could he really stomach the sight of Yunho holding someone else that’s not him? He just couldn't see it, how someone else could fit perfectly in Yunho’s arms but him and maybe thinking about this was a bad idea because he’ll be at this all night and he’ll be going to work with panda eyes again.
Three, what will he even say to Yunho? I love you, come back? Of course not. Yunho’s sacrificed a lot to get where he is right now, he knows about Yunho’s family and how he’s the first born son and he’s supposed to be the one responsible for the whole clan and all the first born responsibilities he needs to keep up. Changmin also knows Yunho loves his family more than anything, more than his wife for sure.
It’s 11:32 in the evening and he’s gotta leave the office now or else he’ll get locked again by 12. He picks up his attaché case and pockets his cellphone and leaves the gray office behind.
He’s on his way home when he receives a text from Jaejoong.
He rolls his eyes and steps on the gas. His speedometer hits nearly hits 140 when he hits the brakes and his tires skid just before he could hit a man who looks like was crossing the road. He was on the pedestrian lane, it was Changmin’s fault but nothing happens, the man made it to the other side and he’s alive and his car is fine and he’s still alive.
And then it hits him like a big yellow school bus without the pun.
He fumbles for his phone that seems to travel all the way to the brakes and picks it up and punches the keyboard and hits send.
Changmin continues to drive slowly and gets to his house safely. He doesn't know how he manages to get himself into some pajamas and gets his face and body clean but he does and when his head hits his pillow he expects to fall dead and wake up the next morning and worry about what he just asked Jaejoong to do.
But apparently the worrying couldn’t wait and here he was, 1:13 in the morning wide awake thinking about how he’ll face Yunho after all these years of not seeing him.
He’ll just have to wait for tomorrow, after Jaejoong invades his office and throws him the tickets he’d so willingly asked for.
It’s now or never.
-
“Dude, will you quit the coffee?” Yoochun asks Yunho who’s on his third cup for the morning. The contract signing will be today and he’s got this huge deal to close before he could lay low and be normal Jung Yunho again.
“If I do, would you quit smoking?” He doesn’t even glance at Yoochun because his eyes are stuck to the desktop, editing and re-editing things in the contract that he needs to print now.
“Hey, that’s not fair. You know that,” Yoochun pouts even though Yunho doesn’t look at him. He’s got thirty minutes of lunch before he delivers this to the people who’re supposed to sign the damn contract. He collects the paper and opens a drawer in hopes to find a proper folder for the files but instead he finds a velvet box sitting peacefully in the bottom of the drawer. He closes it immediately before Yoochun could notice his reaction and opens another drawer and pulls out the folder and fumbles for his wallet before tugging on Yoochun’s sleeve.
“Same banana, Chun. We’re both addicted and we can’t stop. Now let’s have lunch because this is the only time I’ll be able to eat before I get a nervous breakdown.” Yoochun follows Yunho to the elevator oblivious to Yunho’s reaction earlier. He watches his friend press the ground floor button and his wedding band catches the light.
They’re alone right now, Yunho’s prolly going to hate him for this but he’s not making an effort to hide his feelings anyway, Yunho’s pretty transparent to him.
“You miss him?” Yoochun mumbles quietly. It’s just them now, Yunho and Yoochun as friends and not as co-workers or bestmen but as friends.
He doesn’t bother to look at Yoochun or ask him who is he referring to. Yunho knows pretty well who is he asking for, he however is not giving him the benefit of giving him the answer. Not here anyways. Yoochun understands the silence and goes back to being Yoochun the co-worker and the elevator bell rings signifying that they've reached their floor. They get out and walk to the cafeteria because that’s the closest place Yunho can get lunch before he runs off to deliver the contract.
It’s Yunho’s turn to pay and when he receives his change it clinks and makes a sound with his wedding band and he suddenly remembers the velvet box that he found earlier.
How long has it been? Two years? And for Yoochun to ask him if he misses him all of a sudden? Yoochun knew about him and Changmin but he never once asked about Changmin or his feelings for the other guy. Why all of a sudden did he have to bring him up?
They sit down. Yoochun attacking the blueberry cheesecake he got and cherry coke. He’s so healthy for his own good, Yunho shakes his head and takes his fork. Yoochun studies his friend, how he eats, how he picks up his water and how he dresses. It’s all too formal. Well, given the circumstance, their careers require them act that way but Yoochun thinks that Yunho is just too uptight and treats his work better than his own wife.
Yoochun crumples Yunho’s collar in the wrinkliest way he could.
Yunho stares at Yoochun like he’s a five year old.
“What the hell was that for? How old are you?” Yunho desperately saves his wrinkled collar and gives up, glaring at Yoochun.
“You’re too uptight, Yun. You’re clothes are cutting your air source, I feel like it’s choking you.” Yoochun giggles and sips his cherry coke.
“I think I’m supposed to feel that I’m choking, Chun.” The older laughs sarcastically.
“What if someone pops out of nowhere, Yun? You know, destiny? You’re old friend?” Yunho doesn’t say anything and goes back to eating and ignoring Yoochun.
“Earth to Yunho!” He crumples his clothes some more.
“What are you trying to say! It’s over, Chun. We’re over.” He bursts and stands up taking the tray and dumping it’s contents in the trash and returning the tray and the cutlery back to where it belongs. Leaving Yoochun completely satisfied, at least his friend still had feelings. His friend was still human.
-
“I got us business because you have freakish legs and I like free alcohol.” Jaejoong dumps the tickets in Changmin’s desk at lunch time along with a bentou.
Changmin is staring at the glaring ticket in front of him. Normally, he would go for the food immediately but this time he just can’t stop staring at the tickets in front of him. He can’t even fucking touch the damn thing until Jaejoong takes it away from his sight.
“Maybe this was a bad idea, I could just-“
“No. It’s just, it’s there, Jae. We’re going to Korea. I’m going to see Yunho,” Changmin can’t believe himself. How idiotic he must sound and how ridiculously warm he’s feeling inside.
He was going to see Yunho in a few weeks.
Jaejoong is spooning the last bits of his pudding when he sets the tickets back down to Changmin’s desk.
“Relax. We still have two weeks to prepare for your dramatic meeting,” Good thing Changmin is tuning him out like he always does when Jaejoong is talking.
“And our accommodation?” Changmin asks as he devours his lunch.
“Intercontinental,” Jaejoong coughs, the pudding getting caught in his throat. Changmin doesn’t care though and continues to ask.
“Good. Security is good there right? I mean privacy, privacy is good there,” He says absent-mindedly.
“If you want privacy, min-chan. We can stay at my house. No one will know you’re in Seoul. Since you know, no one really cares about me? Because I am not famous? Hehe,” Jaejoong carefully gives a weird smile and Changmin raises an eyebrow confusedly.
“You have a house?” his tone a little too condescending.
“I earn enough for a family of 5, Changmin. Of course, I can afford a house in Seoul. And I am Korean after all” Jaejoong doesn’t know if he should be offended but since it’s Changmin, it doesn’t really work that way.
“Oh yeah, yeah. But me and family, we just yeah. Let’s just stay in your house,” He nods and finishes his food. Jaejoong smiles at him annoyingly and glares at him.
“What?”
“Do you still even know how to speak Korean?” Jaejoong laughs. Louder than he’s allowed to.
“of course I do! Do you think I’m stupid?” He huffs. He’s not confident after all. All his pre-teen years until present he’s lived in Japan and while he’s excellent in English and knows a little Chinese and of course, Japanese, his Korean however has gotten a little rusty since he doesn’t have anyone to speak Korean to.
“Hello, I’m Kim Jaejoong,” Jaejoong says in perfect Korean. Changmin raises his eyebrow and huffs, of course he knows that.
“Do you think I’m stupid, Kim Jaejoong?” Changmin replies in Japanese.
“No. I don’t think so. But you certainly are for letting someone you love go,” Jaejoong nods and stands up to leave.
Changmin doesn’t catch anything that his friend has said. He needs to learn his Korean again.
-
“You can’t keep on ignoring me, Yun. Don’t be immature. Even Jinhee is noticing that you’re ignoring me” Yoochun pouts and smooths out Yunho’s jacket.
Yunho ignores him a little more before he finally looks at his friend, “Stop pouting. You’re scaring the interns,” he says and chokes on a laugh.
Yoochun lunges for a hug and Yunho laughs and nods.
-
Changmin once thought that his secretary was bad at timing and that was one time but right now, he concluded that she was a very incompetent employee and that she needed to get replaced. Or demoted. To a messenger. But even she would get the damn letters late so that’s no good too.
He’s flailing around the office, papers strewn all over his desk, files needed to be looked at but his useless secretary forgot to put it in his desk yesterday, it’s a good thing he went to the office a littler earlier than he used to because he just had a feeling that something might mess up whenever he leaves.
And he’s right.
Coffee mugs rings on some papers and some papers his secretary tries to save but he only gave her the stink eye all the way so she ran off to her desk to stay away from the fury that is Shim Changmin. His phone blares KAT-TUN’s Rescue, Junno says he needs to support his idol friend more. He feels a little embarrassed whenever he gets a call publicly or in a meeting but for the love of his friends. Ugh.
“Not right no-“
“Our flight is today, Changmin. Just wanna remind you, I didn’t even go to work today, I needed new clothes,” Jaejoong kept on blabbing about how it’s much trendier in Japan than in Korea but the clothes are much cheaper in Korea and what not. Changmin right now, doesn’t give a fuck.
“Jae, I’m busy. Mina forgot to put some files on my desk yesterday and now I need to cram it all in one work day,” he lets go of his phone and squeezes between his shoulder and ear.
“Fire her when we come back. Did you even pack?”
“nugh,” Changmin grunts.
“I’ll do it for you, Work hard! I’ll pick you up at 5,” and with that Shim Changmin just got saved by his packing duties but signing and working on papers isn’t really a good trade off. He’s CEO now ever since his father had passed the corporation to him and he likes his job, just not the unskillful employees that come with it. He really hates his secretary right now.
-
“I’m back,” Yunho says and toes his shoes off the little foyer and takes off his coat to hang it on the coat hanger.
It smells like home cooked food, the slow kind, and he’s getting really hungry. He unbuttons the first two of his dress shirt and finds his wife in the dining room setting the plates.
Jinhee, Yunho’s wife, is wearing a cute apron and her hair all tied up and messy like she slaved on that food since this morning and her cheeks are all red. She realizes his presence inside the room and she wipes her fingers on the apron and comes close to embrace her husband.
She smells like hardwork and Chanel No.5 and Yunho takes it all in, kisses her softly on the lips and smiles at her. She smiles back and gestures him to sit down because dinner will be ready in a few minutes.
Yunho’s belly is full and happy and he’s watching some variety show that he loves but doesn’t quite get the time to catch because he always comes home with work. His wife presses the cold beer bottle on his cheek and he shivers then pouts. She slides next to him, presses her small body to his and leans her head on his shoulder. The both of them watching the show.
He puts his arm around her and thinks that somehow, he can get used to this. He has to. Jinhee was a great girl, a great wife who Yunho knew loved him but sometimes Yunho feels so selfish for trapping his wife into this marriage. Given that she really loves him but Yunho thinks it’s not fair for her to not have the whole of him too when she gives too much and takes too little.
When he came back from Japan a few years ago, the trip that changed his life, things had changed. He’s a little more reserved compared before, and the sex wasn’t that frequent like they would use to but Yunho never heard her complain about this.
And this is why Yunho had to come home and be a proper husband to Jinhee. Even though he somehow feels he’s the one trapped into this one sided marriage.
She’s fallen asleep by the time he’s done thinking and the show is ending. Yunho carries her to their bedroom, places her on her side and he covers her with the blanket but doesn’t kiss her goodnight.
He gets another beer from the fridge and evacuates to the terrace where it’s a little chilly but he doesn’t bother to put on something thicker. Yunho thinks about Changmin almost everyday, every night, ever since he had left him in Japan.
Changmin is CEO now. He smiles, he’s read the Japan news that was pinned to his desktop and he’s very proud of him. That’s what he wanted right? That’s why he had picked up Yunho so that he could get a good shot from his father? Who would have thought it would be this way anyway? A simple innocent intention turned into a illicit love affair that made the both of them hurt.
Yunho knew Changmin loved him and it was the same for him but he has responsibilities and his wife.
By now the beer is gone and he’s itching to get another one but he has work tomorrow and work is important because it made him possible to get Jinhee expensive things, things that he knows can’t compensate for his love but that’s the only thing he knows how to say to Jinhee that he appreciates her.
So he comes back to bed with cold feet and looks at her back and he hugs her and closes his eyes. I have to make this work, and forces sleep into himself.
-
Jaejoong’s busy checking the in flight magazine and checks out the latest duty free buys when Changmin’s fingers are so cold. At this rate, he’ll have a nervous break down if he doesn’t calm the fuck down.
The elder flips the page one by one when he sees Changmin trying to open his mint case and fails to do it. Jaejoong grabs it and does it for him, Changmin says a slight thanks and pops two mints at once.
“You’ll be fine. Calm down, Yunho doesn’t know anything. If you don’t like what you see, you can just go back to Japan and move on. Okay?” Jaejoong isn’t really helping. He’s too engrossed if he should get the Dior or the Marc Jacobs sunglasses. Or maybe he should get both?
Changmin ignores his friend thinks about how he hadn’t have enough time to prepare for this. Two weeks, Changmin had two weeks to prepare but he had come up with nothing.
The pretty attendant is asking him if he wants some refreshments and he nods, he asks for water and a glass of wine for Jaejoong. She nods and comes back with the refreshments and Changmin downs everything, even Jaejoong’s wine.
“That’s for not paying attention to me,” he annoyingly said. Jaejoong’s smiling right now and he puts down the magazine and looks at Changmin, holds his hand and coos.
“Changbb. I was serious. You’ll be fine. Okay?” Jaejoong keeps his hand intertwined with Changmin’s and goes back to magazine shopping while Changmin mauls over his thoughts.
He needs another drink.
-
Yunho’s got the contract signed. He’s free for a week.
Yoochun winks at him and asks for a free drink.
Jinhee is happy she’ll get to spend more time with his husband.
-
“Listen, Changbb. I’ve got to tell you something,” Changmin raises an eyebrow at Jaejoong when he’s getting dressed a little too sexy for a casual dinner out on a Friday night.
“This is going to be something else, isn’t it? It’s not just dinner?” Jaejoong bites his lips and nods then sits next to Changmin who’s busy tying his shoelaces.
“Okay, I haven’t been completely honest with you because I know you’re still in this Yunho thing and I didn’t want you to be sad because I met someone I really like,” Changmin laughs and slaps Jaejoong’s shoulder.
“Why would I be mad, baka! You have your own life. Live it up, Man. I’ll support you,” he smiles. Even though it did sting a little that Jaejoong’s found someone. Jaejoong offers him a shy smile and nods.
“So he’s here? In Korea? I didn’t peg you as a long distance relationship kind of person,” Changmin then, genuinely laughs and forgets all the hurt for a while. Jaejoong deserves to be happy, too.
“We’re actually meeting him for dinner, now let’s go!” Jaejoong tugs him and they’re off.
-
“You owe me a drink right? It’s a Friday! Don’t be late later, he’s important,” Yoochun tells him over the phone and he’s pretty sure he hasn’t forgotten what today is.
He had spent the whole day yesterday with Jinhee. Shopping and eating out like a normal couple would do. He knew it made her happy and it was what he needed to do to not feel like an ass of a husband.
“Are you sure you want me to come along? He might fall for me and leave you,” Yunho teases his friend and he hears a scoff.
“Please. He only dates single m-,” Okay. Bad Joke. Yunho freezes for a little bit.
“Hey man, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-“ Yoochun apologizes.
“It’s fine. See you later?” and then he hangs up.
He thinks of Changmin again.
-
Changmin feels like a third wheel.
Like an invisible person.
He feels ignored and seeing this two make googly eyes at each other doesn’t help what he’s feeling at all.
He orders more than he needs to. He eats less than he needs to because he doesn’t have the appetite for it.
Until he finally gets noticed by Jaejoong’s boyfriend. Friend. Whatever.
“You’re name is Changmin? Funny.” Yoochun says, amused. Jaejoong tilts his head to the side to get a glimpse of Changmin’s expression. A bored one, he’s not surprised.
He nods. Yoochun smiles and goes back to ignoring the tall third wheel because he’s tried to make conversation and he’s not welcomed so. Fine. Whatever.
They couldn’t get enough of each other so Yoochun invites them for a drink at some bar. Jaejoong accepts of course, Changmin doesn’t even have a say in this and he just wants to see Yunho.
Like right now.
So he can make up his mind and tell his heart what to do because this is getting so tiring. The waiting, the wishing and the wanting to be together with someone you know that’s not possible. Ever. He’s married. But he still wants to give it his last go.
“Let’s go?” Yoochun says and they both nod. Changmin has a lot of time to plan this thoughts after all.
-
Yunho’s a little early today. 10 o’ clock on the dot when Yoochun told him they would meet at 10:30. He needed a little alcohol anyway, Jinhee’s a little clingy than usual and he just needed to get himself away for a little while.
It’s only been a day since he spent time with her and already he’s a little choked. How is he even going to make this work? He doesn’t really know.
He gets a text that Yoochun will be there in 5 and he says he’s got a funny surprise later.
He’s swirling his vodka on the rocks and takes a long sip before he feels a clap on his back. It’s Yoochun and his boy friend(s)?
“Hey man! You made it.” Yoochun beams. He nods and stands up. It’s only polite.
He gets the sight of Yoochun’s boyfriend number 1, he’s pretty gorgeous and toned. But he looks like just Yoochun’s type, someone romantic and has puppy’s eyes that could charm him forever.
And then he gets a glimpse of boy friend number 2, he’s pretty tall just like Changmin, endless legs and and..
“I’d like you to meet Jaejoong and his friend,”
“Changmin,” Yunho says before Yoochun could introduce him. Dazed and confused. Yoochun puts his hand over his mouth, he had thought that Changmin was a pretty common name in Korea. He’s known three but he didn’t know that this Changmin was the Changmin of Yunho.
Yunho’s pretty silenced by now. Yoochun knows this will be a complicated date for him and Jaejoong who has done the same gesture as him.
-
“Yunho?” Changmin mumbled to himself. The moment he saw him he knew he was Yunho, his Yunho. He’s still fucking polite like always, still perfect.
“Changmin.. Hi,” is what Yunho says to him when he finally grasps the idea that Changmin is really here. In front of him and Changmin is still having a hard time letting it sink in. This took him by surprise! He thought he’d have this night to maul his thoughts over and make a plan on how to approach Yunho but life can be a bitch and it suddenly just presents you the things you need to deal with even if you’re not ready yet.
Changmin is not ready. Jaejoong nudges him and he coughs a little. He’s got to say something.
“Hello, how are you?” Too much. Too formal. Yunho laughs, he always knew how to break the ice with his smile. Changmin’s shoulders relax and he feels like two years ago in Japan.
“I’ve been good. Work ganged up on me,” Yunho says.
“More like you ganged up on them,” Yoochun snorts and Yunho gives him a sharp look. Jaejoong takes that hint to tug Yoochun away with an excuse to order drinks.
And then they’re alone. Both of them, sitting at the bar and Yunho ordered Changmin a beer. Changmin says thank you, Yunho smiles.
“So you’ve been busy?” he feels lame. Everything that’s leaving his mouth right now is lame. Where is the almighty, Shim Changmin? Yunho is still Yunho, back then he could tease Yunho in any manner that he pleased, back then Yunho would have taken any snark comment Changmin would’ve made, back then Changmin would’ve commented about every single flaw in Yunho’s appearance.
But tonight is different because they’re in the present and right now, Yunho is the husband Yunho, right now they were not together anymore, right now Changmin feels that whatever he felt two years ago for Yunho, it’s still right there.
Yunho nods and smiles again, taking a swig of his alcohol. Changmin can see his fingers tremble, he can see his wedding band shine in his left middle finger, he can see that scar he left in the corner of Yunho’s lip.
He can fucking see everything when it comes to Yunho. This isn’t fair at all.
“I missed you, Min” Yunho says. How dare he?! Changmin’s heart is racing because he’s mad and touched at the same time if that is even remotely possible.
“How come you didn’t even call me? I left you messages,” Changmin says coldly, eyes sharp in the line of alcohol bottles. He can’t look at Yunho because he knows he can’t take it. He’ll just give in and beg and right now, Changmin doesn’t want to beg.
Not yet.
“You know why, min,”
“I don’t, Yunho. I just don’t get why you couldn’t just tell me that you didn’t want me anymore. It would’ve made things much easier,” Changmin finishes his beer and gets up.
“Thanks for the beer. I think I made the wrong decision coming here,” he jumps off the stool and leaves Yunho behind but as soon as he gets out the bar, his tears fall but not all at once.
And then Yunho comes out looking for him. Changmin wipes his tears and walks away, Yunho following him into a deserted street.
“You came here?” Yunho stops him, hands gripping his wrist. Changmin refuses to show his face but Yunho’s tone is so gentle and so soft and not judgmental at all. So he just nods.
“Why?” his tone. It’s just melts Changmin’s heart. His grip, getting tighter and it reminds Changmin of many many things and happy moments back in Japan. So he faces him, bare.
“I wanted to find you. I wanted to know if you still feel the same way like I feel about you because if you did.. If you did even just a little, I would wait for you. No matter how long, Yunho. I’d wait for you,” Changmin looks down his shoes and kicks an invisible being.
“But you’re happy. And the last thing I wanted to be was the reason for you’re sadness or stress.. I’m glad I saw you smiling, thank you for giving me you’re smile. But right now, I think it’s time for me to go. It’s fun while it lasted,” Changmin quotes Yunho before he left Changmin in the airport. He walks up to Yunho and puts his arms around his neck and locks it, hugs him for the last time.
“I love you,” he says for the last time before letting the other man go and walking away.
Changmin walks home until his feet hurt and he doesn’t have a clue where he is and then decides he’ll just take a cab and pray that the driver would understand his broken Korean.
He gets home to Jaejoong’s little villa.
His head is spinning like he’s drunk but he only had one beer but seeing Yunho and knowing that he isn’t on his mind anymore makes him want to vomit everything. Chuck it all out because God knows how much he’s hurting right now.
He slumps down the couch. It’s three in the morning and Jaejoong is still not home. Good for him at least one of them got something.
Changmin just wants to go back to Japan and start anew.
He had done everything he could do and now the only option is to move on. No matter how painful it was, he had to move on. Yunho is happy with his wife, heck, he might even have a baby girl or boy. And just who was he to ruin a perfectly good family anyways?
Really?
part one - part three.
Author's note: I know this update is so late but this is for everyone who waited for this. And for bluedveins and her stroke.
yunho/changmin
summary: yunho's content with a loveless marriage, has the perfect trophy wife but one business trip to japan changes it all.
Changmin knows he can’t look at Yunho for a long time. And by long, he means a minute, maybe a second, in the desktop because he knows it will only bring flashbacks and he can’t afford any those yet because he’s still bent over the things that happened. If he’d look at Yunho like he used to he’ll just bring up the happy times and then for a second he’ll be happy and then he’ll have to start from the beginning when he sent Yunho away. To where he belongs.
It’s been years. Two years to be exact and he’s still caught up by the little things that remind him of Yunho. The uncapped bottles he refuses to close, the Marlboros he left by the door and the ramen house he took Yunho the first time he met him. Changmin hasn't gone back to that restaurant ever since.
He’s starting to forget Yunho’s touch, the way he kisses and Changmin is not sure if he’s ready to let go of that just yet because he knows that some idiotic part of him, he’s still hoping that Yunho might come back. Pathetic, he thinks.
Forgetting is something he’s never been good at. Ever since he was a kid he always got what he wanted and that there weren't any bad memories that needed to be forgotten so he never really had a problem until now.
Until Yunho.
“Changmin,”
“Not now, Jae,” Jaejoong is annoying him again when he’s busy looking up cheap flights to Incheon just because he doesn't have anything lined up for today.
“Any good flights to Incheon?” Jaejoong says teasingly. Changmin sighs and closes three tabs. Airlines took their seat sales seriously, Changmin just thought it was a sign. Whatever, he thinks and opens another tab and types the first porn site he can think of.
“I thought so,” the other line scoffs.
“What do you want?” Changmin clicks through the kajillion tags of school girls, lesbians, hardcore and what not. He’s not in the mood for some cheap but he’s also not in the mood to talk to Jaejoong because he knows it’ll only end like-
“Just go to Korea,” Like this. Changmin chuckles bitterly and closes the tab completely, reclines his seat, closes his eyes, puts his feet up his desk and crosses his ankles.
“You know, for a friend who has a MBA in Business Administration from some prestigious American university, you’re not really bright. Pushing your friend to ruin a perfectly good marriage,”
Jaejoong is sighing and Changmin is considering it. Considering going to Korea and sweep Yunho’s feet away from his trophy wife and bring him back to Japan where they can have all the ramen they want and be fat together and just be together.
Man, that sounded so amazing in his head.
“I’m not telling you to ruin their marriage, Baka. All I’m saying is you give it your last shot before giving Yunho up. You know what I mean? You need to reassure yourself that Yunho is not feeling miserable and cooped up in a loveless marriage.” Jaejoong has a point but Changmin knows he can never execute the things his friend is saying. It’s all too risky, and Changmin doesn’t like risks.
“Whatever. I’ll call you later, I’m busy,” Changmin says and hangs up before Jaejoong could even say anything.
Maybe Jaejoong was right. Maybe he needed to come and see Yunho for himself. To reassure himself that Yunho is happy with his life right now. It’s been two years already, if their relationship meant anything like it meant to Changmin, Yunho would have searched for him a long time ago.
But Changmin can’t say the same because he also didn't do his fair share of finding Yunho. In his defense, Yunho’s married and who was he to follow a married man? He was no home wrecker either. Not yet, though.
A lot of things were floating into Changmin’s mind. For one, he was hungry and ramen sounded nice but it’ll just remind him of Yunho and the lady in the shop would ask him why he hadn't visited in a long long time? He didn't want to explain himself, what was he supposed to say? Sorry, I had an affair with a married man and I sent him away and going to this shop will bring back memories I need to forget? No, that’s ridiculous.
Two, Jaejoong’s plans kept on pushing him to the curb. Kept him late at night and thinking of the possible outcomes if ever he flew to Korea and saw Yunho. Two sub a, finding Yunho was easy; his company is a business partner, so contacting him was easy as pie but could he face Yunho? After everything that happened? He’s not really sure.
Two sub b, what if he saw Yunho and he saw him with his wife? Could he really stomach the sight of Yunho holding someone else that’s not him? He just couldn't see it, how someone else could fit perfectly in Yunho’s arms but him and maybe thinking about this was a bad idea because he’ll be at this all night and he’ll be going to work with panda eyes again.
Three, what will he even say to Yunho? I love you, come back? Of course not. Yunho’s sacrificed a lot to get where he is right now, he knows about Yunho’s family and how he’s the first born son and he’s supposed to be the one responsible for the whole clan and all the first born responsibilities he needs to keep up. Changmin also knows Yunho loves his family more than anything, more than his wife for sure.
It’s 11:32 in the evening and he’s gotta leave the office now or else he’ll get locked again by 12. He picks up his attaché case and pockets his cellphone and leaves the gray office behind.
He’s on his way home when he receives a text from Jaejoong.
He rolls his eyes and steps on the gas. His speedometer hits nearly hits 140 when he hits the brakes and his tires skid just before he could hit a man who looks like was crossing the road. He was on the pedestrian lane, it was Changmin’s fault but nothing happens, the man made it to the other side and he’s alive and his car is fine and he’s still alive.
And then it hits him like a big yellow school bus without the pun.
He fumbles for his phone that seems to travel all the way to the brakes and picks it up and punches the keyboard and hits send.
Changmin continues to drive slowly and gets to his house safely. He doesn't know how he manages to get himself into some pajamas and gets his face and body clean but he does and when his head hits his pillow he expects to fall dead and wake up the next morning and worry about what he just asked Jaejoong to do.
But apparently the worrying couldn’t wait and here he was, 1:13 in the morning wide awake thinking about how he’ll face Yunho after all these years of not seeing him.
He’ll just have to wait for tomorrow, after Jaejoong invades his office and throws him the tickets he’d so willingly asked for.
It’s now or never.
-
“Dude, will you quit the coffee?” Yoochun asks Yunho who’s on his third cup for the morning. The contract signing will be today and he’s got this huge deal to close before he could lay low and be normal Jung Yunho again.
“If I do, would you quit smoking?” He doesn’t even glance at Yoochun because his eyes are stuck to the desktop, editing and re-editing things in the contract that he needs to print now.
“Hey, that’s not fair. You know that,” Yoochun pouts even though Yunho doesn’t look at him. He’s got thirty minutes of lunch before he delivers this to the people who’re supposed to sign the damn contract. He collects the paper and opens a drawer in hopes to find a proper folder for the files but instead he finds a velvet box sitting peacefully in the bottom of the drawer. He closes it immediately before Yoochun could notice his reaction and opens another drawer and pulls out the folder and fumbles for his wallet before tugging on Yoochun’s sleeve.
“Same banana, Chun. We’re both addicted and we can’t stop. Now let’s have lunch because this is the only time I’ll be able to eat before I get a nervous breakdown.” Yoochun follows Yunho to the elevator oblivious to Yunho’s reaction earlier. He watches his friend press the ground floor button and his wedding band catches the light.
They’re alone right now, Yunho’s prolly going to hate him for this but he’s not making an effort to hide his feelings anyway, Yunho’s pretty transparent to him.
“You miss him?” Yoochun mumbles quietly. It’s just them now, Yunho and Yoochun as friends and not as co-workers or bestmen but as friends.
He doesn’t bother to look at Yoochun or ask him who is he referring to. Yunho knows pretty well who is he asking for, he however is not giving him the benefit of giving him the answer. Not here anyways. Yoochun understands the silence and goes back to being Yoochun the co-worker and the elevator bell rings signifying that they've reached their floor. They get out and walk to the cafeteria because that’s the closest place Yunho can get lunch before he runs off to deliver the contract.
It’s Yunho’s turn to pay and when he receives his change it clinks and makes a sound with his wedding band and he suddenly remembers the velvet box that he found earlier.
How long has it been? Two years? And for Yoochun to ask him if he misses him all of a sudden? Yoochun knew about him and Changmin but he never once asked about Changmin or his feelings for the other guy. Why all of a sudden did he have to bring him up?
They sit down. Yoochun attacking the blueberry cheesecake he got and cherry coke. He’s so healthy for his own good, Yunho shakes his head and takes his fork. Yoochun studies his friend, how he eats, how he picks up his water and how he dresses. It’s all too formal. Well, given the circumstance, their careers require them act that way but Yoochun thinks that Yunho is just too uptight and treats his work better than his own wife.
Yoochun crumples Yunho’s collar in the wrinkliest way he could.
Yunho stares at Yoochun like he’s a five year old.
“What the hell was that for? How old are you?” Yunho desperately saves his wrinkled collar and gives up, glaring at Yoochun.
“You’re too uptight, Yun. You’re clothes are cutting your air source, I feel like it’s choking you.” Yoochun giggles and sips his cherry coke.
“I think I’m supposed to feel that I’m choking, Chun.” The older laughs sarcastically.
“What if someone pops out of nowhere, Yun? You know, destiny? You’re old friend?” Yunho doesn’t say anything and goes back to eating and ignoring Yoochun.
“Earth to Yunho!” He crumples his clothes some more.
“What are you trying to say! It’s over, Chun. We’re over.” He bursts and stands up taking the tray and dumping it’s contents in the trash and returning the tray and the cutlery back to where it belongs. Leaving Yoochun completely satisfied, at least his friend still had feelings. His friend was still human.
-
“I got us business because you have freakish legs and I like free alcohol.” Jaejoong dumps the tickets in Changmin’s desk at lunch time along with a bentou.
Changmin is staring at the glaring ticket in front of him. Normally, he would go for the food immediately but this time he just can’t stop staring at the tickets in front of him. He can’t even fucking touch the damn thing until Jaejoong takes it away from his sight.
“Maybe this was a bad idea, I could just-“
“No. It’s just, it’s there, Jae. We’re going to Korea. I’m going to see Yunho,” Changmin can’t believe himself. How idiotic he must sound and how ridiculously warm he’s feeling inside.
He was going to see Yunho in a few weeks.
Jaejoong is spooning the last bits of his pudding when he sets the tickets back down to Changmin’s desk.
“Relax. We still have two weeks to prepare for your dramatic meeting,” Good thing Changmin is tuning him out like he always does when Jaejoong is talking.
“And our accommodation?” Changmin asks as he devours his lunch.
“Intercontinental,” Jaejoong coughs, the pudding getting caught in his throat. Changmin doesn’t care though and continues to ask.
“Good. Security is good there right? I mean privacy, privacy is good there,” He says absent-mindedly.
“If you want privacy, min-chan. We can stay at my house. No one will know you’re in Seoul. Since you know, no one really cares about me? Because I am not famous? Hehe,” Jaejoong carefully gives a weird smile and Changmin raises an eyebrow confusedly.
“You have a house?” his tone a little too condescending.
“I earn enough for a family of 5, Changmin. Of course, I can afford a house in Seoul. And I am Korean after all” Jaejoong doesn’t know if he should be offended but since it’s Changmin, it doesn’t really work that way.
“Oh yeah, yeah. But me and family, we just yeah. Let’s just stay in your house,” He nods and finishes his food. Jaejoong smiles at him annoyingly and glares at him.
“What?”
“Do you still even know how to speak Korean?” Jaejoong laughs. Louder than he’s allowed to.
“of course I do! Do you think I’m stupid?” He huffs. He’s not confident after all. All his pre-teen years until present he’s lived in Japan and while he’s excellent in English and knows a little Chinese and of course, Japanese, his Korean however has gotten a little rusty since he doesn’t have anyone to speak Korean to.
“Hello, I’m Kim Jaejoong,” Jaejoong says in perfect Korean. Changmin raises his eyebrow and huffs, of course he knows that.
“Do you think I’m stupid, Kim Jaejoong?” Changmin replies in Japanese.
“No. I don’t think so. But you certainly are for letting someone you love go,” Jaejoong nods and stands up to leave.
Changmin doesn’t catch anything that his friend has said. He needs to learn his Korean again.
-
“You can’t keep on ignoring me, Yun. Don’t be immature. Even Jinhee is noticing that you’re ignoring me” Yoochun pouts and smooths out Yunho’s jacket.
Yunho ignores him a little more before he finally looks at his friend, “Stop pouting. You’re scaring the interns,” he says and chokes on a laugh.
Yoochun lunges for a hug and Yunho laughs and nods.
-
Changmin once thought that his secretary was bad at timing and that was one time but right now, he concluded that she was a very incompetent employee and that she needed to get replaced. Or demoted. To a messenger. But even she would get the damn letters late so that’s no good too.
He’s flailing around the office, papers strewn all over his desk, files needed to be looked at but his useless secretary forgot to put it in his desk yesterday, it’s a good thing he went to the office a littler earlier than he used to because he just had a feeling that something might mess up whenever he leaves.
And he’s right.
Coffee mugs rings on some papers and some papers his secretary tries to save but he only gave her the stink eye all the way so she ran off to her desk to stay away from the fury that is Shim Changmin. His phone blares KAT-TUN’s Rescue, Junno says he needs to support his idol friend more. He feels a little embarrassed whenever he gets a call publicly or in a meeting but for the love of his friends. Ugh.
“Not right no-“
“Our flight is today, Changmin. Just wanna remind you, I didn’t even go to work today, I needed new clothes,” Jaejoong kept on blabbing about how it’s much trendier in Japan than in Korea but the clothes are much cheaper in Korea and what not. Changmin right now, doesn’t give a fuck.
“Jae, I’m busy. Mina forgot to put some files on my desk yesterday and now I need to cram it all in one work day,” he lets go of his phone and squeezes between his shoulder and ear.
“Fire her when we come back. Did you even pack?”
“nugh,” Changmin grunts.
“I’ll do it for you, Work hard! I’ll pick you up at 5,” and with that Shim Changmin just got saved by his packing duties but signing and working on papers isn’t really a good trade off. He’s CEO now ever since his father had passed the corporation to him and he likes his job, just not the unskillful employees that come with it. He really hates his secretary right now.
-
“I’m back,” Yunho says and toes his shoes off the little foyer and takes off his coat to hang it on the coat hanger.
It smells like home cooked food, the slow kind, and he’s getting really hungry. He unbuttons the first two of his dress shirt and finds his wife in the dining room setting the plates.
Jinhee, Yunho’s wife, is wearing a cute apron and her hair all tied up and messy like she slaved on that food since this morning and her cheeks are all red. She realizes his presence inside the room and she wipes her fingers on the apron and comes close to embrace her husband.
She smells like hardwork and Chanel No.5 and Yunho takes it all in, kisses her softly on the lips and smiles at her. She smiles back and gestures him to sit down because dinner will be ready in a few minutes.
Yunho’s belly is full and happy and he’s watching some variety show that he loves but doesn’t quite get the time to catch because he always comes home with work. His wife presses the cold beer bottle on his cheek and he shivers then pouts. She slides next to him, presses her small body to his and leans her head on his shoulder. The both of them watching the show.
He puts his arm around her and thinks that somehow, he can get used to this. He has to. Jinhee was a great girl, a great wife who Yunho knew loved him but sometimes Yunho feels so selfish for trapping his wife into this marriage. Given that she really loves him but Yunho thinks it’s not fair for her to not have the whole of him too when she gives too much and takes too little.
When he came back from Japan a few years ago, the trip that changed his life, things had changed. He’s a little more reserved compared before, and the sex wasn’t that frequent like they would use to but Yunho never heard her complain about this.
And this is why Yunho had to come home and be a proper husband to Jinhee. Even though he somehow feels he’s the one trapped into this one sided marriage.
She’s fallen asleep by the time he’s done thinking and the show is ending. Yunho carries her to their bedroom, places her on her side and he covers her with the blanket but doesn’t kiss her goodnight.
He gets another beer from the fridge and evacuates to the terrace where it’s a little chilly but he doesn’t bother to put on something thicker. Yunho thinks about Changmin almost everyday, every night, ever since he had left him in Japan.
Changmin is CEO now. He smiles, he’s read the Japan news that was pinned to his desktop and he’s very proud of him. That’s what he wanted right? That’s why he had picked up Yunho so that he could get a good shot from his father? Who would have thought it would be this way anyway? A simple innocent intention turned into a illicit love affair that made the both of them hurt.
Yunho knew Changmin loved him and it was the same for him but he has responsibilities and his wife.
By now the beer is gone and he’s itching to get another one but he has work tomorrow and work is important because it made him possible to get Jinhee expensive things, things that he knows can’t compensate for his love but that’s the only thing he knows how to say to Jinhee that he appreciates her.
So he comes back to bed with cold feet and looks at her back and he hugs her and closes his eyes. I have to make this work, and forces sleep into himself.
-
Jaejoong’s busy checking the in flight magazine and checks out the latest duty free buys when Changmin’s fingers are so cold. At this rate, he’ll have a nervous break down if he doesn’t calm the fuck down.
The elder flips the page one by one when he sees Changmin trying to open his mint case and fails to do it. Jaejoong grabs it and does it for him, Changmin says a slight thanks and pops two mints at once.
“You’ll be fine. Calm down, Yunho doesn’t know anything. If you don’t like what you see, you can just go back to Japan and move on. Okay?” Jaejoong isn’t really helping. He’s too engrossed if he should get the Dior or the Marc Jacobs sunglasses. Or maybe he should get both?
Changmin ignores his friend thinks about how he hadn’t have enough time to prepare for this. Two weeks, Changmin had two weeks to prepare but he had come up with nothing.
The pretty attendant is asking him if he wants some refreshments and he nods, he asks for water and a glass of wine for Jaejoong. She nods and comes back with the refreshments and Changmin downs everything, even Jaejoong’s wine.
“That’s for not paying attention to me,” he annoyingly said. Jaejoong’s smiling right now and he puts down the magazine and looks at Changmin, holds his hand and coos.
“Changbb. I was serious. You’ll be fine. Okay?” Jaejoong keeps his hand intertwined with Changmin’s and goes back to magazine shopping while Changmin mauls over his thoughts.
He needs another drink.
-
Yunho’s got the contract signed. He’s free for a week.
Yoochun winks at him and asks for a free drink.
Jinhee is happy she’ll get to spend more time with his husband.
-
“Listen, Changbb. I’ve got to tell you something,” Changmin raises an eyebrow at Jaejoong when he’s getting dressed a little too sexy for a casual dinner out on a Friday night.
“This is going to be something else, isn’t it? It’s not just dinner?” Jaejoong bites his lips and nods then sits next to Changmin who’s busy tying his shoelaces.
“Okay, I haven’t been completely honest with you because I know you’re still in this Yunho thing and I didn’t want you to be sad because I met someone I really like,” Changmin laughs and slaps Jaejoong’s shoulder.
“Why would I be mad, baka! You have your own life. Live it up, Man. I’ll support you,” he smiles. Even though it did sting a little that Jaejoong’s found someone. Jaejoong offers him a shy smile and nods.
“So he’s here? In Korea? I didn’t peg you as a long distance relationship kind of person,” Changmin then, genuinely laughs and forgets all the hurt for a while. Jaejoong deserves to be happy, too.
“We’re actually meeting him for dinner, now let’s go!” Jaejoong tugs him and they’re off.
-
“You owe me a drink right? It’s a Friday! Don’t be late later, he’s important,” Yoochun tells him over the phone and he’s pretty sure he hasn’t forgotten what today is.
He had spent the whole day yesterday with Jinhee. Shopping and eating out like a normal couple would do. He knew it made her happy and it was what he needed to do to not feel like an ass of a husband.
“Are you sure you want me to come along? He might fall for me and leave you,” Yunho teases his friend and he hears a scoff.
“Please. He only dates single m-,” Okay. Bad Joke. Yunho freezes for a little bit.
“Hey man, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-“ Yoochun apologizes.
“It’s fine. See you later?” and then he hangs up.
He thinks of Changmin again.
-
Changmin feels like a third wheel.
Like an invisible person.
He feels ignored and seeing this two make googly eyes at each other doesn’t help what he’s feeling at all.
He orders more than he needs to. He eats less than he needs to because he doesn’t have the appetite for it.
Until he finally gets noticed by Jaejoong’s boyfriend. Friend. Whatever.
“You’re name is Changmin? Funny.” Yoochun says, amused. Jaejoong tilts his head to the side to get a glimpse of Changmin’s expression. A bored one, he’s not surprised.
He nods. Yoochun smiles and goes back to ignoring the tall third wheel because he’s tried to make conversation and he’s not welcomed so. Fine. Whatever.
They couldn’t get enough of each other so Yoochun invites them for a drink at some bar. Jaejoong accepts of course, Changmin doesn’t even have a say in this and he just wants to see Yunho.
Like right now.
So he can make up his mind and tell his heart what to do because this is getting so tiring. The waiting, the wishing and the wanting to be together with someone you know that’s not possible. Ever. He’s married. But he still wants to give it his last go.
“Let’s go?” Yoochun says and they both nod. Changmin has a lot of time to plan this thoughts after all.
-
Yunho’s a little early today. 10 o’ clock on the dot when Yoochun told him they would meet at 10:30. He needed a little alcohol anyway, Jinhee’s a little clingy than usual and he just needed to get himself away for a little while.
It’s only been a day since he spent time with her and already he’s a little choked. How is he even going to make this work? He doesn’t really know.
He gets a text that Yoochun will be there in 5 and he says he’s got a funny surprise later.
He’s swirling his vodka on the rocks and takes a long sip before he feels a clap on his back. It’s Yoochun and his boy friend(s)?
“Hey man! You made it.” Yoochun beams. He nods and stands up. It’s only polite.
He gets the sight of Yoochun’s boyfriend number 1, he’s pretty gorgeous and toned. But he looks like just Yoochun’s type, someone romantic and has puppy’s eyes that could charm him forever.
And then he gets a glimpse of boy friend number 2, he’s pretty tall just like Changmin, endless legs and and..
“I’d like you to meet Jaejoong and his friend,”
“Changmin,” Yunho says before Yoochun could introduce him. Dazed and confused. Yoochun puts his hand over his mouth, he had thought that Changmin was a pretty common name in Korea. He’s known three but he didn’t know that this Changmin was the Changmin of Yunho.
Yunho’s pretty silenced by now. Yoochun knows this will be a complicated date for him and Jaejoong who has done the same gesture as him.
-
“Yunho?” Changmin mumbled to himself. The moment he saw him he knew he was Yunho, his Yunho. He’s still fucking polite like always, still perfect.
“Changmin.. Hi,” is what Yunho says to him when he finally grasps the idea that Changmin is really here. In front of him and Changmin is still having a hard time letting it sink in. This took him by surprise! He thought he’d have this night to maul his thoughts over and make a plan on how to approach Yunho but life can be a bitch and it suddenly just presents you the things you need to deal with even if you’re not ready yet.
Changmin is not ready. Jaejoong nudges him and he coughs a little. He’s got to say something.
“Hello, how are you?” Too much. Too formal. Yunho laughs, he always knew how to break the ice with his smile. Changmin’s shoulders relax and he feels like two years ago in Japan.
“I’ve been good. Work ganged up on me,” Yunho says.
“More like you ganged up on them,” Yoochun snorts and Yunho gives him a sharp look. Jaejoong takes that hint to tug Yoochun away with an excuse to order drinks.
And then they’re alone. Both of them, sitting at the bar and Yunho ordered Changmin a beer. Changmin says thank you, Yunho smiles.
“So you’ve been busy?” he feels lame. Everything that’s leaving his mouth right now is lame. Where is the almighty, Shim Changmin? Yunho is still Yunho, back then he could tease Yunho in any manner that he pleased, back then Yunho would have taken any snark comment Changmin would’ve made, back then Changmin would’ve commented about every single flaw in Yunho’s appearance.
But tonight is different because they’re in the present and right now, Yunho is the husband Yunho, right now they were not together anymore, right now Changmin feels that whatever he felt two years ago for Yunho, it’s still right there.
Yunho nods and smiles again, taking a swig of his alcohol. Changmin can see his fingers tremble, he can see his wedding band shine in his left middle finger, he can see that scar he left in the corner of Yunho’s lip.
He can fucking see everything when it comes to Yunho. This isn’t fair at all.
“I missed you, Min” Yunho says. How dare he?! Changmin’s heart is racing because he’s mad and touched at the same time if that is even remotely possible.
“How come you didn’t even call me? I left you messages,” Changmin says coldly, eyes sharp in the line of alcohol bottles. He can’t look at Yunho because he knows he can’t take it. He’ll just give in and beg and right now, Changmin doesn’t want to beg.
Not yet.
“You know why, min,”
“I don’t, Yunho. I just don’t get why you couldn’t just tell me that you didn’t want me anymore. It would’ve made things much easier,” Changmin finishes his beer and gets up.
“Thanks for the beer. I think I made the wrong decision coming here,” he jumps off the stool and leaves Yunho behind but as soon as he gets out the bar, his tears fall but not all at once.
And then Yunho comes out looking for him. Changmin wipes his tears and walks away, Yunho following him into a deserted street.
“You came here?” Yunho stops him, hands gripping his wrist. Changmin refuses to show his face but Yunho’s tone is so gentle and so soft and not judgmental at all. So he just nods.
“Why?” his tone. It’s just melts Changmin’s heart. His grip, getting tighter and it reminds Changmin of many many things and happy moments back in Japan. So he faces him, bare.
“I wanted to find you. I wanted to know if you still feel the same way like I feel about you because if you did.. If you did even just a little, I would wait for you. No matter how long, Yunho. I’d wait for you,” Changmin looks down his shoes and kicks an invisible being.
“But you’re happy. And the last thing I wanted to be was the reason for you’re sadness or stress.. I’m glad I saw you smiling, thank you for giving me you’re smile. But right now, I think it’s time for me to go. It’s fun while it lasted,” Changmin quotes Yunho before he left Changmin in the airport. He walks up to Yunho and puts his arms around his neck and locks it, hugs him for the last time.
“I love you,” he says for the last time before letting the other man go and walking away.
Changmin walks home until his feet hurt and he doesn’t have a clue where he is and then decides he’ll just take a cab and pray that the driver would understand his broken Korean.
He gets home to Jaejoong’s little villa.
His head is spinning like he’s drunk but he only had one beer but seeing Yunho and knowing that he isn’t on his mind anymore makes him want to vomit everything. Chuck it all out because God knows how much he’s hurting right now.
He slumps down the couch. It’s three in the morning and Jaejoong is still not home. Good for him at least one of them got something.
Changmin just wants to go back to Japan and start anew.
He had done everything he could do and now the only option is to move on. No matter how painful it was, he had to move on. Yunho is happy with his wife, heck, he might even have a baby girl or boy. And just who was he to ruin a perfectly good family anyways?
Really?
part one - part three.
Author's note: I know this update is so late but this is for everyone who waited for this. And for bluedveins and her stroke.