Musings most horrid
I keep telling myself (and everyone willing to listen) that I want to improve as a writer. I know I do. I sincerely, truly want to but the fact of the matter is I have no idea how to go about this. Will writing the same things over and over and over make me a better writer at that specific thing? Or will forcing myself out of my comfort zone be
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We are our own worst critics, but beating yourself up about writing won't help ya much. You'll get upset over your writing, and your writing suffer, it'll be a cycle until you won't write anymore. Happened to me once. Ugliest writer's block of my life. Then I got over it, but that's my personality.
Everything I write always sounds repetitive, dull, stale, shallow, and pretentious in my head. I put it to the public and wait for the worst, and even though people say nice things, I feel they're just being polite. That's my motivation to try again, which is rather masochistic when I think about it.
Despite that,I write as a way to keep myself entertained, sane, and of course to write what I want because I feel like it. Fuck it, I hate 99% of my fics but that's because I focus too closely on said fic, so I'll ditch it. Three months later and I'll remember where I was going with it, why, and how I wanted it to end. Taking a breather for a second will help at least to de-stress you.
Once writing becomes a shore, it is harder to improve because you're not enjoying it anymore. I think you need to make smaller goals, and do memes for shows you know and love but don't usually write for. A change of pace.
Honestly, as someone who has recently gotten to see your writing for a bit, even if casual at first-- you've improved. A lot! You use richer words, your dialogue was never boring, but it's snappier (I've been reading your Darkcaster fics). I don't see many cliches, and the ones I do see you turn around so they're fun again. Pacing is fine, your transitions are smooth, and I can always imagine in my head the scenes you paint. Over all, I think you sell yourself far too short.
To improve, one has to practice. If you don't feel you've improved maybe posting fic in a community with a label asking for con-crits may help point out some places you and your usual readers haven't noticed. Reviews gushing about how much the story rocked are nice, but hearing what was best and what needs improvement helps too.
We all want to improve our writing, it just requires for us to be open to challenging ourselves. I'm not saying write smut with a slash pairing that totally squicks you, of course! But something aside from romance, or what you consider is your strongest genre. My weakest area is action. It's why I write smut in a very off-handed sort of way, and why my fics don't span past 5000+ words. But I drag my feet when I come down to it; I don't motivate myself to write action because I don't have the attention span for it.
Another place to look at are the writing comms on LJ for prompts and suggestions. I have some references I use when I get stuck or need inspiration. Professional writers lurk around LJ and they have good ideas, seminars, essays, and hints to take advantage of. I have a few links if you'd like to see them. :/
Finally, last piece of advice 'cause I talk way too much, find a beta reader. Having someone objectively look at your fic will help target what exactly is bothering you about your writing. Specially considering how you're blending work-writing with you regular fun!writing.
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My problem is I'm the sort who loses steam so easily with fics, ideas, pairings; it's actually a wonder I'm still in the fandom and that I'm still writing fic for it (albeit for a much smaller audience). I feel like I constantly need to keep myself busy with things related to writing otherwise I'll end up drifting into "I stopped caring" territory. It's possibly one of the reason why I roleplay in the fandom as it keeps me connected even if it's just with one other person.
My issue with constant practice is I'm a firm believer in practice makes permanent. Because I practice X for so long, and no one has told me that it should have been Y all this time, I'm never going to be able to figure that out without some sort of plan/guide/example to go by. It takes an event short of an anvil to the head for me to get that "literary epiphany" on my own because I'm narrow-minded and get tunnel vision LIEK WHOA~
Honestly, as someone who has recently gotten to see your writing for a bit, even if casual at first-- you've improved.
Thank you! So much! I appreciate the assurance that I'm not doing a two-steps-forward-ten-steps-back thing with my writing. I mean, I might like some of my stuff but that might be because of the subject matter rather than the actual writing so getting feedback on specifics (snappy dialogue, good pacing) takes a load off my chest.
/OT - my very first DarkCaster piece is not in this LJ because I posted it in one of my RP journals and it makes huge assumptions about both characters and I fear they may be slightly OOC in it *sweatdrop* /OT
I do try to challenge myself sometimes. But these attempts never see the light of internet day and stay safely nestled in my HD. Mostly they're genres I'm not comfortable with like horror and mind-fuck. I try to create a scenario but half-way the attempt I scare myself with the possibilities of where this thing will take my mind and I'm too chicken shit to go there. Y'know, there. Where all the scary and gore and just plain old "DNW" things lurk beyond the borders of my happy-sparkle-unicorn-rainbow-cotton-candy-fun-land ;^;
@DEM LINKS - YES PLOX! I WANTS!
Finding a beta reader is hard, which is why I'm so grateful you were willing to beta Fragmentation (which I hope to work on some time after Holy Week). Or at least help me hammer out some kinks. I might put up a different/new outline but in the mean time I'm drafting that Mytrax manifesto outline in between Darkcaster manifesto skeleton outline fleshing. I AM JUGGLING PROJECT LIEK WHOA! But I need to, otherwise I'll end up leaving the fandom and then I'll realize "Fuuuuuuck I have no life :<"
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It is hard and because we’re so close to our own writing it’s hard to look at it and pinpoint what needs more work and what has improved. And I understand how without proper motivation you just lose steam. I share that frustration for my attention span rivals a goldfish’s.
However, I don’t think practice makes permanent. Or really, I’ve found writing at least 500 words a day coaxes you to look for other ways to use the same words. My teacher told me once, we make an unique sentence every time we speak, write or think so no matter how many times I hammer at a sentence how I write and what I write will not be the replica of someone else or myself. But then again, I am much more loose about what I write, ho I write, and the characters I write. Having different places to find muses allows my writing to never stifle in one idea or thought. Of course, it’s different for everyone, and today I learned something new.
I want to see your dark stuff! Is it original fic, or fandom related?
One of my goals this summer is to take a creative writing class in my town’s community college, if you can, this could be a place to find a good solid person to give you advice and con crit.
I feel your pain with Betas. Some are too harsh, others too meek, and often others just don’t know what to focus on. I use my friends, but they lack discipline or don’t know how to critize. They have it in their head that criticism= personal attack. It’s why when I am asked to beta my first question is if people want criticism or someone to just proofread their fic. I’d hate to think someone is getting butthurt and I am totally oblivious to it.
I enjoyed your ideas, so when you get a better structure for them let me know! I am of the belief fangirling doesn't need to be useless babble XD
Linkage: I am technologically deficient so you get copy-paste links instead of the fancy ones. Sorry:
http://community.livejournal.com/francesca_lia/601750.html
http://cupidsbow.livejournal.com/194295.html
http://why-me-why-not.livejournal.com/33602.html
http://blackholly.livejournal.com/73823.html
I hope these help you! If you need more, click on the commenter’s memories. They usually have other sources that can guide you.
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