(no subject)
i have lots of school work. i realized it's not just "this week i have lots to do" but rather, it's every week.
and yeah. idk.
i need a different job....well, actually, i need a way to make money that leaves me free time....which doesnt really exist so i'm pretty sure that i'm fucked on that one.
tomorrow i'm driving to ATL to meet Katherine so we can drive to Athens to 40 Watt to see Colour Revolt.
i am excited.
dad's birthday is on Saturday.
i haven't created anything lately. it leaves me feeling kind of boring....well, no, it leaves me feeling fucking boring as hell.
i just don't seem to have time or energy or really inspiration. oh wait. nevermind, i just thought of something....
nice.
i dont know. i'm rambling.
he liked his moleskine that i made and his letter that i wrote. it wasn't until i wanted to hide when he read the letter that i realized that i was scared of it. not of him or us. i'm scared that what i wrote is on paper; a serious concentration of how i feel and it's tangible and re-readable and standing still for scrutiny and so honest and honestly i think i am mostly scared of myself. i love him & i'm in love with him more than anyone ever. it's the most right thing i know and have ever known. such certainty i just know it. and i guess i've never been so honest with anyone because i was scared that i'd be rejected for my honesty because i always have thought that i love more deeply and intensely than anyone else. but this is different from anyone else. its him and it's me and i am so grateful that i found him. maybe i'm not so much scared as i am excited that i get to love him and he loves me back. even still, after almost a year, i feel as excited about seeing and talking to him as i did the first weeks we went out.
can't believe it'll be an entire year in less than two months. (it's a good thing : ) and i am so glad)
i just realized how much i have missed writing.
and yeah. idk.
i need a different job....well, actually, i need a way to make money that leaves me free time....which doesnt really exist so i'm pretty sure that i'm fucked on that one.
tomorrow i'm driving to ATL to meet Katherine so we can drive to Athens to 40 Watt to see Colour Revolt.
i am excited.
dad's birthday is on Saturday.
i haven't created anything lately. it leaves me feeling kind of boring....well, no, it leaves me feeling fucking boring as hell.
i just don't seem to have time or energy or really inspiration. oh wait. nevermind, i just thought of something....
nice.
i dont know. i'm rambling.
he liked his moleskine that i made and his letter that i wrote. it wasn't until i wanted to hide when he read the letter that i realized that i was scared of it. not of him or us. i'm scared that what i wrote is on paper; a serious concentration of how i feel and it's tangible and re-readable and standing still for scrutiny and so honest and honestly i think i am mostly scared of myself. i love him & i'm in love with him more than anyone ever. it's the most right thing i know and have ever known. such certainty i just know it. and i guess i've never been so honest with anyone because i was scared that i'd be rejected for my honesty because i always have thought that i love more deeply and intensely than anyone else. but this is different from anyone else. its him and it's me and i am so grateful that i found him. maybe i'm not so much scared as i am excited that i get to love him and he loves me back. even still, after almost a year, i feel as excited about seeing and talking to him as i did the first weeks we went out.
can't believe it'll be an entire year in less than two months. (it's a good thing : ) and i am so glad)
i just realized how much i have missed writing.