(no subject)
last night was good but only last night was good. thinking about last night is horrible. and thinking of nights and days to come is horrible. forgive me, it's taking me longer to find that kind of happiness in someone else. i can't make it. never could. and i can't pretend, and he's not pretending. i don't care if he doesn't even have a real thing it's more than i got. i know i'm just feeling sorry for myself. but it didn't take him long at all but me, i'm still stranded. it was so great to see him last night. the fist time to really see him since he told be about sliting his wrist. i still can't break away i guess. and alot of times i feel fine like nothing can bring me down. It was good to see him but i wish i could have acted like he was there.