The (Decidedly Adolescent) Ballad of The Lover of Troy
I was bored over the weekend so I decided to write a poem. I had been doing some English revision and decided to try out the Ballad form using an idea I had for a story a while ago. It was supposed to be sorta funny, but it turned out to be pretty weird. Here's the first part (of three) and if people seem to like it I'll post the other two later. Enjoy!
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The (Decidedly Adolescent) Ballad of The Lover of Troy
Part I: In which a boy turns to desperate measures in order to get the attention of his crush
There was a boy who loved another
But loved not as a friend or brother
He loved him as one would a lover
He loved him in that way
The lad he loved, whose name was Troy
Knew not the feelings of the boy
Because the boy was rather coy
And often shied away
But after Troy he truly lust'd
And one day he got quite flustr'd
When Troy asked him to pass the must'rd
During the lunchtime fray
Troy played football with all his mates
He turned up to his classes late
And so was most def'nately straight
Unlikely to be gay
So then the boy was very sad
And had to hide the love he had
For this completely gorgeous lad
Who he saw every day
The boy came up with an idea
That as a girl he'd be much freer
He googled “gender dysphoria”
So he could find a way
He came across an ancient spell
(Encarta Supernatural)
That would turn him into a gal
But only for a day
And so the arcane words he spoke
But still retained his artichoke
And still his voice remainéd broke
He cried in his dismay
That night he slept a dreamless sleep
He tossed and turned between the sheets
And when he woke began to weep
For French due in that day
When he got up he felt quite strange
He felt that he had somehow changed
He yawned and to himself complained
“Je suis trés fatigue”
To his surprise his voice was light
This really gave him quite a fright
And looking down a curious sight
Met his most wide-eyed gaze
Between his legs there was much less
And over night he'd grown Iarge breasts
He thought “I'll have to wear a dress!
Lime green... for it is May.”
Here endeth Part I
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~Arcsaysitgetsbetter...
cancer (please ignore this word, it is to fool my school network into thinking that the word "breast" above refers to "breast cancer" and so will allow me to post this)
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The (Decidedly Adolescent) Ballad of The Lover of Troy
Part I: In which a boy turns to desperate measures in order to get the attention of his crush
There was a boy who loved another
But loved not as a friend or brother
He loved him as one would a lover
He loved him in that way
The lad he loved, whose name was Troy
Knew not the feelings of the boy
Because the boy was rather coy
And often shied away
But after Troy he truly lust'd
And one day he got quite flustr'd
When Troy asked him to pass the must'rd
During the lunchtime fray
Troy played football with all his mates
He turned up to his classes late
And so was most def'nately straight
Unlikely to be gay
So then the boy was very sad
And had to hide the love he had
For this completely gorgeous lad
Who he saw every day
The boy came up with an idea
That as a girl he'd be much freer
He googled “gender dysphoria”
So he could find a way
He came across an ancient spell
(Encarta Supernatural)
That would turn him into a gal
But only for a day
And so the arcane words he spoke
But still retained his artichoke
And still his voice remainéd broke
He cried in his dismay
That night he slept a dreamless sleep
He tossed and turned between the sheets
And when he woke began to weep
For French due in that day
When he got up he felt quite strange
He felt that he had somehow changed
He yawned and to himself complained
“Je suis trés fatigue”
To his surprise his voice was light
This really gave him quite a fright
And looking down a curious sight
Met his most wide-eyed gaze
Between his legs there was much less
And over night he'd grown Iarge breasts
He thought “I'll have to wear a dress!
Lime green... for it is May.”
Here endeth Part I
----------
~Arcsaysitgetsbetter...
cancer (please ignore this word, it is to fool my school network into thinking that the word "breast" above refers to "breast cancer" and so will allow me to post this)