here i go again

[the_anonymous_g]

yes the anonymous g strikes again.

why do i feel this way? why do i keep feeling as though hes gonna leave me any second? why am i so goddamn insecure? i finally get someone who sincerely loves me and i keep screwing it up. i take everything he says to heart and it kills me. i know hes just kidding around, but i cant help but feel that theres a faint glimmer of seriousnesss to his joking. i seriously feel us falling apart or is that just a figment of my imagination?

i always do this. i always sabatage the good relationships. josh says he has serious plans to marry me and father my children, but theres just something deep within me that screams otherwise. maybe im just being silly, seeing things that arent really there. or maybe they are there. i dont know. im so confused. i dont know what to do anymore.

i feel like crying. i feel like my heart is bleeding. i mean, theres just this deep, cold, sinking feeling in m chest and it kills me.

my heart wants to scream, but my mouth remains shut. my eyes want so desperately to cry but they stay dry.

why the hell do i feel like this? why do i feel as though my world is coming to a crashing halt?

is it just me?

i hope its just me.