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ok, lets see whats new.... ummm, i played raquet ball for the first time in months. i almost died!!!! matt got me some more magic cards, and we played a few games the other day. i got my ass handed to me 3 out of 5 times. oh, i dont feel like going into a hole anymore, i want to just drive away from it all, but i want to take jenn with me, and leave everything else behind. all my troubles, all my worries, and all my thoughts. i just want the one thing that is great in my life, and that is jenn. yea laura was here, but then she left, and so did that happiness. now i find new happiness with jenn, and i find a comfort that i have never had. i mean, we havent even been going out a month yet, and it feels like its been almost a year. i do tell her almost everything, the things that i dont say i let go of. i do it cause i cant find a way to tell anyone about it, and the only person that could understand is matt (we really are brothers). but i dont even know how to word it so that i can understand it. jenn and i hit our first bump the other night, and we got through it with flying colors. i know i will never do anything to hurt her on purpose, but i feel as though i cant prevent something really bad from happening. i mean, i dont want to, but i know its gonna happen because that is my luck. i know people say you make your own luck, but with me, its not true. (jenn is gonna hate me) i feel as though god just isnt happy with me, so he is giving me bad luck for a while. or maybe, im just thios unlucky. if someone doesnt understand, ask and i will give a few examples.holy crap, this is a long entry. i cant believe im writing this much. i mean, the only thing that i cant screw up is how jenn feels about me, which im glad to say is the same way that i feel about her. and i dont want to sound like an ass, but im really gonna try to not screw up at all. my job is great right now, i mean, i work at sun and ski sports as a salesman, and i just got my friend kim a job there. it felt good to help her out, (please dont take this in a bad way kim) even though she kinda screwed me out of a place when she had victoria move in. i dont care anymore, but it was kind of an assholish thing to do, partly because if it wasnt for me, you wouldnt be in the apartment. i apologize for the remark, but its been in my mind for a while now. oh, and another thing kim,i dont care about the hat anymore, i mean, its just a hat. the main reason i liked it so much was cause it fit my head great, and it says nypd, and is very patriotic. but hey, i have another one now, so i dont have to worry about it. oh yea, and the fact that paula actually loved me is amazing to me. cause yea, i did mean everything that i said to her, but after we ended it, everything went out the window. i mean, no feelings were left, no heart, no truth, nothing. ok ppl, im going to bed, ill update again sometime soon. later....MUCH!!!!