(no subject)
I hate when things get complicated. Why does life have to throw so many obstacles in our way? Are these tests from God to insure we are of faith? I just don't know. I'm a tormented person and nobody even knows it. I was of strong faith when I first got up here in Minot, but it slowly fades week by week. Once I was a person who considered myself graced by God. But I seem to have fallen. My luck has also appeared to have changed and I think this is part of it. If those of the lord are all lambs of God, then I am the sick one that is being eyed by the wolf ready to end my existence. I'm not saying I'm becoming a non-believer. I'm a guy that feels hes losing something very important to him. I have neglected for a long enough period for it to have an effect on me. I hate it. When it comes time to ask God for something, I feel so unworthy. How can I expect him to help me if I neglect him most of the time. Its like me not talking to a friend for a good while then asking them for a favor. Its a constant battle with me and remaining a child of God. I know its still there other wise I wouldn't care it was leaving. Being alone in the military is a lot harder than I had ever thought. I don't live amongst the most divine people in the world. My belief is that people are very prone to be like the people they hang out with. But I also believe I'm stronger than that. I have one key person in my life that has probably kept me mostly of good nature, morals, and faith. Without them I probably would have been lost by now. I'm blessed to have them in my life. As far as everything goes with how I'm going to correct myself. Well lets just say I'll start with a prayer.